David
@premdw.bsky.social
I'm in the Tampa Bay area of Florida, USA.
Reposted by David
I once dated a girl with a twin.
People asked me how I could tell them apart?..
It was simple, Jill colored her nails purple and Bob had a penis.
#DocAfterDark
People asked me how I could tell them apart?..
It was simple, Jill colored her nails purple and Bob had a penis.
#DocAfterDark
November 26, 2025 at 3:04 AM
I once dated a girl with a twin.
People asked me how I could tell them apart?..
It was simple, Jill colored her nails purple and Bob had a penis.
#DocAfterDark
People asked me how I could tell them apart?..
It was simple, Jill colored her nails purple and Bob had a penis.
#DocAfterDark
Reposted by David
I was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun. I said to keep warm. She asked, 'How warm is it inside?' I said, 'Lukewarm.'
November 26, 2025 at 3:31 AM
I was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun. I said to keep warm. She asked, 'How warm is it inside?' I said, 'Lukewarm.'
Reposted by David
UPDATE: Betty is overwhelmed with gratitude for those who were kind enough to donate to her GFM, and she asked me to pass along her sincere thanks. I’d love for her to reach the goal, but if you can’t contribute, a retweet helps too.
I’ve only posted one GFM, and it’s my intention never to post another. But this one is close to my heart. I know the family personally and have visited with them countless times. If you can help out, it would be great. If not, I completely understand - but a retweet is free.
gofund.me/e44538b52
gofund.me/e44538b52
Donate to Support Betty's Fight to Keep Her Home, organized by Patricia Winter
Betty is an 86-year-old widow who has always been proud of her independence. A… Patricia Winter needs your support for Support Betty's Fight to Keep Her Home
gofund.me
November 21, 2025 at 8:10 PM
UPDATE: Betty is overwhelmed with gratitude for those who were kind enough to donate to her GFM, and she asked me to pass along her sincere thanks. I’d love for her to reach the goal, but if you can’t contribute, a retweet helps too.
Reposted by David
Doing a crossword I asked the wife Whats a 4 letter word for a female relative, ends in unt?
@MrsDocAtCDI said aunt....
if you're like me...
youd prolly need whiteout too....
#DocAfterDark
@MrsDocAtCDI said aunt....
if you're like me...
youd prolly need whiteout too....
#DocAfterDark
November 21, 2025 at 3:04 AM
Doing a crossword I asked the wife Whats a 4 letter word for a female relative, ends in unt?
@MrsDocAtCDI said aunt....
if you're like me...
youd prolly need whiteout too....
#DocAfterDark
@MrsDocAtCDI said aunt....
if you're like me...
youd prolly need whiteout too....
#DocAfterDark
Reposted by David
How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh?
Nothing. It's on the house.
Nothing. It's on the house.
November 17, 2025 at 3:31 AM
How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh?
Nothing. It's on the house.
Nothing. It's on the house.
Reposted by David
My friend is making a lot of easy money by selling pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes. It's like shooting fish in apparel.
November 17, 2025 at 4:31 AM
My friend is making a lot of easy money by selling pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes. It's like shooting fish in apparel.
Reposted by David
I’ve only posted one GFM, and it’s my intention never to post another. But this one is close to my heart. I know the family personally and have visited with them countless times. If you can help out, it would be great. If not, I completely understand - but a retweet is free.
gofund.me/e44538b52
gofund.me/e44538b52
Donate to Support Betty's Fight to Keep Her Home, organized by Patricia Winter
Betty is an 86-year-old widow who has always been proud of her independence. A… Patricia Winter needs your support for Support Betty's Fight to Keep Her Home
gofund.me
November 10, 2025 at 3:16 PM
I’ve only posted one GFM, and it’s my intention never to post another. But this one is close to my heart. I know the family personally and have visited with them countless times. If you can help out, it would be great. If not, I completely understand - but a retweet is free.
gofund.me/e44538b52
gofund.me/e44538b52
Reposted by David
I went to the doctor with hearing problems. He said, 'Can you describe the symptoms?' I said, 'Homer's a fat dude and Marge has blue hair.'
November 8, 2025 at 9:31 PM
I went to the doctor with hearing problems. He said, 'Can you describe the symptoms?' I said, 'Homer's a fat dude and Marge has blue hair.'
Reposted by David
Reposted by David
It's a darned shame, Frank.
November 4, 2025 at 10:00 PM
It's a darned shame, Frank.
Reposted by David
Wow, hitting 900 followers has me feeling so grateful! Each one of you means so much to me. Knowing you're here, appreciating what I share, truly touches my heart. Thank you for being part of this journey with me. I'm excited for what's ahead, together! 💙💛
SLAVA UKRAINI
🇺🇦
SLAVA UKRAINI
🇺🇦
November 3, 2025 at 12:46 AM
Wow, hitting 900 followers has me feeling so grateful! Each one of you means so much to me. Knowing you're here, appreciating what I share, truly touches my heart. Thank you for being part of this journey with me. I'm excited for what's ahead, together! 💙💛
SLAVA UKRAINI
🇺🇦
SLAVA UKRAINI
🇺🇦
Reposted by David
Would you expect anything different?
October 30, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Would you expect anything different?
Reposted by David
Reposted by David
October 29, 2025 at 8:58 AM
Reposted by David
Continuing the morning "Best of Randy's Random" site memes. This one is 1 of 2.
October 28, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Continuing the morning "Best of Randy's Random" site memes. This one is 1 of 2.
Reposted by David
October 26, 2025 at 1:49 PM
Reposted by David
Every purchase supports real people in Ukraine, keeping creativity and hope alive
Take a look here:
www.etsy.com/shop/IdeaxUa
Take a look here:
www.etsy.com/shop/IdeaxUa
www.etsy.com
October 25, 2025 at 11:37 AM
Every purchase supports real people in Ukraine, keeping creativity and hope alive
Take a look here:
www.etsy.com/shop/IdeaxUa
Take a look here:
www.etsy.com/shop/IdeaxUa
Reposted by David
Taking us through the weekend: Lessons from 'The Princess Bride' (1987). 1 of 5
October 22, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Taking us through the weekend: Lessons from 'The Princess Bride' (1987). 1 of 5
Reposted by David
I don't wanna go into detail
but the Dyson ball cleaner
is a very misleading product name #DocAfterDarkrk
but the Dyson ball cleaner
is a very misleading product name #DocAfterDarkrk
October 20, 2025 at 2:04 AM
I don't wanna go into detail
but the Dyson ball cleaner
is a very misleading product name #DocAfterDarkrk
but the Dyson ball cleaner
is a very misleading product name #DocAfterDarkrk
Reposted by David
Just takes a little thinking!
October 13, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Just takes a little thinking!
Reposted by David
Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
October 18, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Reposted by David
Daughter: “Mother, can a woman get pregnant from anal sex?”
Mother: “Why of course dear. Where do you think Republicans come from?”
Mother: “Why of course dear. Where do you think Republicans come from?”
October 17, 2025 at 2:42 AM
Daughter: “Mother, can a woman get pregnant from anal sex?”
Mother: “Why of course dear. Where do you think Republicans come from?”
Mother: “Why of course dear. Where do you think Republicans come from?”
Reposted by David
Folks — this is not a normal government shutdown.
Let me explain the stakes and how we got here.
Let me explain the stakes and how we got here.
October 1, 2025 at 4:11 AM
Folks — this is not a normal government shutdown.
Let me explain the stakes and how we got here.
Let me explain the stakes and how we got here.
Reposted by David
Capital letters:
The difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse
and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
The difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse
and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
October 16, 2025 at 4:31 AM
Capital letters:
The difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse
and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
The difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse
and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
Reposted by David
A little dab will do ya.
October 7, 2025 at 1:02 PM
A little dab will do ya.