Kate Parlez
@parlezkate.bsky.social
Midlife writer/editor and practicing witch in Midcoast Maine; solo, sober, and something else. Aka HellaNewEngland
Good night to my 40s. If I had any energy left at all after this tough week, I would go to goth night.
July 12, 2025 at 2:19 AM
Good night to my 40s. If I had any energy left at all after this tough week, I would go to goth night.
If you see this, drop an old picture you still love.
SF, 1999? Me and my hometown besties at the Levi’s store Photo Booth.
SF, 1999? Me and my hometown besties at the Levi’s store Photo Booth.
July 11, 2025 at 1:46 AM
If you see this, drop an old picture you still love.
SF, 1999? Me and my hometown besties at the Levi’s store Photo Booth.
SF, 1999? Me and my hometown besties at the Levi’s store Photo Booth.
I’m at the threshold of 50, feeling overwhelmed and chaotic, sublimating hard. Turns out planning a big bday, a visa/transatlantic move, shedding 90% of my belongings, managing complicated relationships, and keeping my shit together is hard. Woke up to this, my leftover dinner on my altar.
July 9, 2025 at 10:48 AM
I’m at the threshold of 50, feeling overwhelmed and chaotic, sublimating hard. Turns out planning a big bday, a visa/transatlantic move, shedding 90% of my belongings, managing complicated relationships, and keeping my shit together is hard. Woke up to this, my leftover dinner on my altar.
Vinalhaven sugar overload.
July 4, 2025 at 6:11 PM
Vinalhaven sugar overload.
Teenage me is so stoked to visit the site that inspired Christina’s World by Andrew Wyeth.
June 29, 2025 at 5:27 PM
Teenage me is so stoked to visit the site that inspired Christina’s World by Andrew Wyeth.
I’m on Boomer tech support duty today, apparently. I hope I have some years of tech proficiency between when they’re gone and when I can’t figure out how to work an iPhone.
June 25, 2025 at 9:31 PM
I’m on Boomer tech support duty today, apparently. I hope I have some years of tech proficiency between when they’re gone and when I can’t figure out how to work an iPhone.
Eighth grade, 1988
One of these kids is not like the others. #neverendingmathequation
One of these kids is not like the others. #neverendingmathequation
June 23, 2025 at 12:27 AM
Eighth grade, 1988
One of these kids is not like the others. #neverendingmathequation
One of these kids is not like the others. #neverendingmathequation
I went to Hallowell to watch the sturgeons jump out of the water (no one knows why I guess) on their way to/from spawn. A burgeon of sturgeons. #hallowell #maine
June 22, 2025 at 10:51 PM
I went to Hallowell to watch the sturgeons jump out of the water (no one knows why I guess) on their way to/from spawn. A burgeon of sturgeons. #hallowell #maine
Six mos after murdering my good knee by falling off a ladder, had my last follow up. Sports med doc said I’m doing great for someone cruising around with no ACL or MCL and a torn meniscus. No surgery; I’ve been going to the gym 5-6 days/week for almost two mos. It’s still tricksy, but I’m upright.
June 19, 2025 at 2:41 AM
Six mos after murdering my good knee by falling off a ladder, had my last follow up. Sports med doc said I’m doing great for someone cruising around with no ACL or MCL and a torn meniscus. No surgery; I’ve been going to the gym 5-6 days/week for almost two mos. It’s still tricksy, but I’m upright.
Today in a coffeeshop, a complete stranger asked if I was a witch. My first impulse was to say yes (which I did), but my second was to ask who sent them to me.
June 19, 2025 at 2:34 AM
Today in a coffeeshop, a complete stranger asked if I was a witch. My first impulse was to say yes (which I did), but my second was to ask who sent them to me.
Reposted by Kate Parlez
i picked a bad phase of american history to go straightedge
June 14, 2025 at 3:09 PM
i picked a bad phase of american history to go straightedge
Cloris Leachman told me I was beautiful but my arms were too big while we shared a table at LPQ in Brentwood. She suggested I eat “less bready things and more soupy things.” I rankled, “Thanks but I don’t get paid for how I look.” She said, “Sure you do, honey. We all do.” #RIP #clorisleachman
Right folks. Feeling rather down at the moment so bringing back an oldie
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
June 14, 2025 at 10:43 PM
Cloris Leachman told me I was beautiful but my arms were too big while we shared a table at LPQ in Brentwood. She suggested I eat “less bready things and more soupy things.” I rankled, “Thanks but I don’t get paid for how I look.” She said, “Sure you do, honey. We all do.” #RIP #clorisleachman
I didn’t protest today, but I did go on a birding boat trip led by my friend Bird Kate. I saw: puffins, eiders, gulls, murres, loons, oystercatchers, a porpoise, a seal, terns, and some Wyeth islands. I love Maine with my whole heart, I truly do.
June 14, 2025 at 9:58 PM
I didn’t protest today, but I did go on a birding boat trip led by my friend Bird Kate. I saw: puffins, eiders, gulls, murres, loons, oystercatchers, a porpoise, a seal, terns, and some Wyeth islands. I love Maine with my whole heart, I truly do.
“It’s a long list of mistakes you made, king. And I’m going to start with the … worst.”
Pavement - No More Kings
YouTube video by burtflaxton
youtube.com
June 14, 2025 at 9:45 PM
“It’s a long list of mistakes you made, king. And I’m going to start with the … worst.”
Reposted by Kate Parlez
I’m moving to Spain this fall. That’s it; that’s the post. I’m scared and excited and determined and a little sad about it, but it’s something I’ve been wanting to do for 25 years. I’m 50 next month, and I’m going for it.
June 11, 2025 at 11:25 AM
I’m moving to Spain this fall. That’s it; that’s the post. I’m scared and excited and determined and a little sad about it, but it’s something I’ve been wanting to do for 25 years. I’m 50 next month, and I’m going for it.
Reposted by Kate Parlez
Alex Garland Critics, circa 2024: “Civil War never gives the audience any sense of how the government descended into open warfare. It’s unrealistic!”
Historians, post-2025:
“The shot heard ‘round the world was fired by masked ICE agents at six day laborers in a Home Depot parking lot.”
Historians, post-2025:
“The shot heard ‘round the world was fired by masked ICE agents at six day laborers in a Home Depot parking lot.”
June 11, 2025 at 1:31 AM
Alex Garland Critics, circa 2024: “Civil War never gives the audience any sense of how the government descended into open warfare. It’s unrealistic!”
Historians, post-2025:
“The shot heard ‘round the world was fired by masked ICE agents at six day laborers in a Home Depot parking lot.”
Historians, post-2025:
“The shot heard ‘round the world was fired by masked ICE agents at six day laborers in a Home Depot parking lot.”
Reposted by Kate Parlez
I took 10 years off from working out while I healed disordered exercise habits, but I’m back. I’ve been going to the gym 5-6 days/week for about an hour with the intent of strengthening my #tornACL knee and getting my flexibility back. I am shocked at how much fun I’m having being in my body!?
June 4, 2025 at 10:40 PM
I took 10 years off from working out while I healed disordered exercise habits, but I’m back. I’ve been going to the gym 5-6 days/week for about an hour with the intent of strengthening my #tornACL knee and getting my flexibility back. I am shocked at how much fun I’m having being in my body!?
Post a cartoon that you love.
June 2, 2025 at 12:56 PM
Post a cartoon that you love.
I’m about 3/4ths the way through this book and I can’t overstate how great it is. It’s funny and irreverent, while being brutally incisive, extremely fucking timely, and absolutely devastating. Get it on sale as seen here, or however you get it — just get it.
Also @feministpress.bsky.social has a pride discount going. Use coupon code PRIDE35 for 35% off books like BODY HORROR: CAPITALISM, FEAR, MISOGYNY, JOKES.
Body Horror: Capitalism, Fear, Misogyny, Jokes — Feminist Press
Anne Elizabeth Moore In this new edition of a cult classic, an award-winning journalist catalogs the global toll of capitalism on our physical autonomy.
www.feministpress.org
June 1, 2025 at 3:03 PM
I’m about 3/4ths the way through this book and I can’t overstate how great it is. It’s funny and irreverent, while being brutally incisive, extremely fucking timely, and absolutely devastating. Get it on sale as seen here, or however you get it — just get it.
I am a middle-aged woman who still covers everything she loves in stickers.
May 31, 2025 at 4:47 PM
I am a middle-aged woman who still covers everything she loves in stickers.
Reposted by Kate Parlez
The best time to plant a tree in your yard was ten years ago.
The best time to build a wizard tower in your yard was five years ago.
The best time to sharpen your antlers and disappear into the mossy wilds is right now.
The best time to build a wizard tower in your yard was five years ago.
The best time to sharpen your antlers and disappear into the mossy wilds is right now.
May 22, 2025 at 12:10 AM
The best time to plant a tree in your yard was ten years ago.
The best time to build a wizard tower in your yard was five years ago.
The best time to sharpen your antlers and disappear into the mossy wilds is right now.
The best time to build a wizard tower in your yard was five years ago.
The best time to sharpen your antlers and disappear into the mossy wilds is right now.
When normies get handed strange coincidences and bizarre synchronicities, many think “wow, weird” and move on. Which is a shame, imo. When I am l handed the same things, I see it as the universe contriving to tell me “yes, keep going” and I step on the gas. #witchstuff #cosmicyes
May 15, 2025 at 10:09 PM
When normies get handed strange coincidences and bizarre synchronicities, many think “wow, weird” and move on. Which is a shame, imo. When I am l handed the same things, I see it as the universe contriving to tell me “yes, keep going” and I step on the gas. #witchstuff #cosmicyes
Reposted by Kate Parlez
“Allies” who refuse to do small acts of justice—wear an n95, use alt text, leave fascist platforms like substack, refuse to use chatGPT—don’t have the moral courage to be part of a justice movement.
They will not become braver or less selfish when things get harder. They will become dangerous.
They will not become braver or less selfish when things get harder. They will become dangerous.
May 10, 2025 at 11:22 PM
“Allies” who refuse to do small acts of justice—wear an n95, use alt text, leave fascist platforms like substack, refuse to use chatGPT—don’t have the moral courage to be part of a justice movement.
They will not become braver or less selfish when things get harder. They will become dangerous.
They will not become braver or less selfish when things get harder. They will become dangerous.