pandathletic
@pandathletic.bsky.social
Occasional silly thoughts to boost your shitscrolling experience
Pinned
The great thing about having young kids at home is you get to ask yourself the real big questions like is the sun comestible? Has the stroller washed their hands when we got home? Is the punishment for stealing to be eaten?
Sam: my baby is unresponsive and her lips are blue. Help me write a prompt to diagnose all possible causes
ChatGPT: stop your bullshit and call 911 now
Sam: *reports answer as not helpful*
ChatGPT: stop your bullshit and call 911 now
Sam: *reports answer as not helpful*
December 10, 2025 at 5:46 AM
Sam: my baby is unresponsive and her lips are blue. Help me write a prompt to diagnose all possible causes
ChatGPT: stop your bullshit and call 911 now
Sam: *reports answer as not helpful*
ChatGPT: stop your bullshit and call 911 now
Sam: *reports answer as not helpful*
I believe "hey honey I invited your hot colleague for a threesome next week like you always wanted" would have generated the same volume of engagement with no backlash...
I can’t emphasize enough how much you need to watch this until the end
December 9, 2025 at 9:14 PM
I believe "hey honey I invited your hot colleague for a threesome next week like you always wanted" would have generated the same volume of engagement with no backlash...
D-11 until the mandatory release date of the Epstein files.
Tipp-ex executives are hoarding champagne to celebrate the largest product placement campaign in history, entirely funded by the US government 🍾
Tipp-ex executives are hoarding champagne to celebrate the largest product placement campaign in history, entirely funded by the US government 🍾
December 9, 2025 at 8:13 PM
D-11 until the mandatory release date of the Epstein files.
Tipp-ex executives are hoarding champagne to celebrate the largest product placement campaign in history, entirely funded by the US government 🍾
Tipp-ex executives are hoarding champagne to celebrate the largest product placement campaign in history, entirely funded by the US government 🍾
BREAKING: literally everything
December 8, 2025 at 8:14 AM
BREAKING: literally everything
Hey guys why are you closing the hatch? You're not mooning down with me?
Guys?
Guys?
i wish neil armstrong had brutally flubbed the moon landing line. that's one small step for moon. one small step ON moon. for a man. one giant man.. 's leap. one GIANT LEAP for moonkind. moon man. one giant moon for manmind. you can hear buzz rollin around in the lander, just howling
December 6, 2025 at 8:35 PM
Hey guys why are you closing the hatch? You're not mooning down with me?
Guys?
Guys?
FIFA can officially get fucked.
December 5, 2025 at 8:19 PM
FIFA can officially get fucked.
Imagine living a healthy life up to 100 years old and then being told you are too old to play Lego 😭
November 29, 2025 at 11:51 AM
Imagine living a healthy life up to 100 years old and then being told you are too old to play Lego 😭
Let's recap.
1. The state of affairs in the US is "amazing" thanks to his orange greatness.
2. The Epstein's files are a hoax by democrats to divert from 1., and if the files are released they will only contain evidence against democrats.
Can someone make sure grandpa took his pills?
1. The state of affairs in the US is "amazing" thanks to his orange greatness.
2. The Epstein's files are a hoax by democrats to divert from 1., and if the files are released they will only contain evidence against democrats.
Can someone make sure grandpa took his pills?
November 24, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Let's recap.
1. The state of affairs in the US is "amazing" thanks to his orange greatness.
2. The Epstein's files are a hoax by democrats to divert from 1., and if the files are released they will only contain evidence against democrats.
Can someone make sure grandpa took his pills?
1. The state of affairs in the US is "amazing" thanks to his orange greatness.
2. The Epstein's files are a hoax by democrats to divert from 1., and if the files are released they will only contain evidence against democrats.
Can someone make sure grandpa took his pills?
I just cannot compute that we are at the "before I pee I need to check the genitals of everyone around me" stage of development as a species 🤯
We couldn't be regressing faster 😕
We couldn't be regressing faster 😕
I just want to say this right now, if a person demands to see my or anyone else's genitals in the bathroom i'm putting their face in the nearest toilet and flushing
November 22, 2025 at 3:20 PM
I just cannot compute that we are at the "before I pee I need to check the genitals of everyone around me" stage of development as a species 🤯
We couldn't be regressing faster 😕
We couldn't be regressing faster 😕
Money will be irrelevant once I have all of it 🤷
Musk Predicts AI Will Make Work Optional, Money Irrelevant
Elon Musk predicted at the US - Saudi Investment Forum on Wednesday that advances in AI and robotics will eventually make money "irrelevant" and work "optional," comparing future employment to recreat...
ground.news
November 21, 2025 at 8:10 PM
Money will be irrelevant once I have all of it 🤷
According to the many-worlds interpretation, there is a world in which the Copenhagen interpretation means that all roads lead to Copenhagen. Nobody talks about that.
November 17, 2025 at 9:17 PM
According to the many-worlds interpretation, there is a world in which the Copenhagen interpretation means that all roads lead to Copenhagen. Nobody talks about that.
I was really hoping that restarting a computer in 2025 would take less than 10 minutes. Not including updates. Just a plain restart...
November 13, 2025 at 12:08 PM
I was really hoping that restarting a computer in 2025 would take less than 10 minutes. Not including updates. Just a plain restart...
Radical breakthrough...
mobject
👍
mobject
👍
November 13, 2025 at 9:43 AM
Radical breakthrough...
mobject
👍
mobject
👍
Anyway, for those with a peanut allergy November must be such a relief
November 9, 2025 at 10:35 PM
Anyway, for those with a peanut allergy November must be such a relief
If you use Outlook at work, you have neurons and synaptic connections dedicated to you knowing how to book a room for an event you don't own.
I'm not telling you how to live your life but I also wouldn't blame you for being mad about that.
I'm not telling you how to live your life but I also wouldn't blame you for being mad about that.
November 9, 2025 at 4:16 PM
If you use Outlook at work, you have neurons and synaptic connections dedicated to you knowing how to book a room for an event you don't own.
I'm not telling you how to live your life but I also wouldn't blame you for being mad about that.
I'm not telling you how to live your life but I also wouldn't blame you for being mad about that.
People agreeing to this are unwell. Even if nobody buys Teslas or use their robotaxis, that maniac will be paid like a king for being a 12 y/o online.
Tesla shareholders approve Elon Musk’s $1 trillion pay package
Tesla said shareholders voted in favor of CEO Elon Musk’s almost $1 trillion pay plan, with 75% support.
ground.news
November 7, 2025 at 11:04 AM
People agreeing to this are unwell. Even if nobody buys Teslas or use their robotaxis, that maniac will be paid like a king for being a 12 y/o online.
All these election results are win-win-win-win
1. People get more humane policies ♥️
2. Democrats get a boost in confidence 🚀
3. Republicans get new scapegoats for their mistakes 🐐
4. I get to post silly emojis 🎉
1. People get more humane policies ♥️
2. Democrats get a boost in confidence 🚀
3. Republicans get new scapegoats for their mistakes 🐐
4. I get to post silly emojis 🎉
November 5, 2025 at 6:15 PM
All these election results are win-win-win-win
1. People get more humane policies ♥️
2. Democrats get a boost in confidence 🚀
3. Republicans get new scapegoats for their mistakes 🐐
4. I get to post silly emojis 🎉
1. People get more humane policies ♥️
2. Democrats get a boost in confidence 🚀
3. Republicans get new scapegoats for their mistakes 🐐
4. I get to post silly emojis 🎉
I must confess that I did not, in fact, roll on the floor laughing while reading your slack message. I'm sorry for sending the wrong impression.
November 4, 2025 at 10:03 AM
I must confess that I did not, in fact, roll on the floor laughing while reading your slack message. I'm sorry for sending the wrong impression.
Another day, another tantrum by some orange excuse of a human...
November 3, 2025 at 8:47 AM
Another day, another tantrum by some orange excuse of a human...
Who invented November anyway?!? Terrible name, pathetic weather and brings no value to anyone. So I have asked the Department of Calendar to immediately look into replacing this good-for-nothing month by a good, positive month, where I get presents every day.
October 31, 2025 at 8:52 AM
Who invented November anyway?!? Terrible name, pathetic weather and brings no value to anyone. So I have asked the Department of Calendar to immediately look into replacing this good-for-nothing month by a good, positive month, where I get presents every day.
Hey Grok, duplicate Wikipedia but make all articles more nazi
October 28, 2025 at 8:08 PM
Hey Grok, duplicate Wikipedia but make all articles more nazi
ICE recruits have never heard of books, so let's applaud the 50% who managed to open one!! 👏
NBC News finds that:
-- ICE has shortened its training from 13 weeks to six.
-- Nearly half of recruits couldn’t pass an open-book written exam.
-- Recruits "are supposed to attest" they can pass the physical-fitness test, which requires them to run ... 6 mph.
www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcn...
-- ICE has shortened its training from 13 weeks to six.
-- Nearly half of recruits couldn’t pass an open-book written exam.
-- Recruits "are supposed to attest" they can pass the physical-fitness test, which requires them to run ... 6 mph.
www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcn...
Some new ICE recruits have shown up to training without full vetting
The recruits have had criminal backgrounds or failed drug tests or were unable to meet physical or academic standards, raising concerns about the agency’s rush to hire immigration officers, sources to...
www.nbcnews.com
October 23, 2025 at 5:19 PM
ICE recruits have never heard of books, so let's applaud the 50% who managed to open one!! 👏
Villain HQ
Boss: I need ideas how to pull a big one: stealing from the Louvres!!
Villains: We dig a tunnel? We hack the cameras? We fly through miniature drones? We release humanoid robots disguised as school children?
Andy the Handyman: Guys anyone need my ladder for something?
Boss: I need ideas how to pull a big one: stealing from the Louvres!!
Villains: We dig a tunnel? We hack the cameras? We fly through miniature drones? We release humanoid robots disguised as school children?
Andy the Handyman: Guys anyone need my ladder for something?
October 20, 2025 at 7:53 AM
Villain HQ
Boss: I need ideas how to pull a big one: stealing from the Louvres!!
Villains: We dig a tunnel? We hack the cameras? We fly through miniature drones? We release humanoid robots disguised as school children?
Andy the Handyman: Guys anyone need my ladder for something?
Boss: I need ideas how to pull a big one: stealing from the Louvres!!
Villains: We dig a tunnel? We hack the cameras? We fly through miniature drones? We release humanoid robots disguised as school children?
Andy the Handyman: Guys anyone need my ladder for something?
Pro tip for anyone in a workplace. If you have a question, don't ask if you can ask a question. Ask the fucking question.
October 13, 2025 at 1:08 PM
Pro tip for anyone in a workplace. If you have a question, don't ask if you can ask a question. Ask the fucking question.