Sandwich Lawyer 🌭⚖️
nuclearporkchop.bsky.social
Sandwich Lawyer 🌭⚖️
@nuclearporkchop.bsky.social
Dancing is forbidden. The Business End(tm). 🚫Death to AI🚫. Kept alive by The Metal. My other car is a guillotine.

No gods, no masters.

DNR is for chumps. Inject the grain directly into my eyeballs.

Death to the Mad King and his Court.
Reposted by Sandwich Lawyer 🌭⚖️
Top five film genres:
a bunch of people you just want to hang out with for a couple hours
directed by former stuntmen/fight choreographers
Strippers who kill dudes
Italian sci fi
Giant monsters destroy things/each other
Top five film genres:

The Erotic Bummer (In the Realm of the Senses, Brokeback Mountain)
The Ordeal (Sorcerer, Deliverance)
Transcendental Horror (Hereditary, The Witch)
GoodFellas-as-genre (Casino, Boogie Nights)
"I think this movie is actually evil" (Under the Skin, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre)
Top five film genres:

-the most gorgeous melodrama / noir you've ever seen

-mean-spirited gore-soaked existential dread (italian)

-70's horror movie where nothing happens (positive)

-heist / crime drama where everybody is just so sweaty/scarred

-weird little guys
November 19, 2025 at 3:14 AM
Reposted by Sandwich Lawyer 🌭⚖️
Luckily, Sinclair has a helpful database of all their stations, so you can see if they're operating in your area and respond accordingly.

sbgi.net/tv-stations/
September 18, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Pretty excellent Wednesday, I'd say.
September 11, 2025 at 4:41 AM
Crunchyroll can get fucked with that $155 price-tag for Cyberpunk Edgerunners on bluray.
a man with a ring on his finger is clapping
ALT: a man with a ring on his finger is clapping
media.tenor.com
August 28, 2025 at 10:50 PM
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every time an elected democrat says “bipartisan” a fascist grows another canine
August 28, 2025 at 5:02 AM
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Kaneda from 2016
August 20, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Just watched "Novocaine".

It was:
an older man wearing glasses and a maroon sweater is smiling
ALT: an older man wearing glasses and a maroon sweater is smiling
media.tenor.com
August 7, 2025 at 4:30 AM
I like to imagine the end of Fight Club, but they demolish AI data centers instead.
July 29, 2025 at 3:15 AM
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To honor Ozzy's larger-than-life rock and roll legacy, we're making Brütal Legend *FREE* on itch.io: doublefine.itch.io/brutal-legend

But this incredible deal will only last for 666 minutes, as the prophecy foretold. So get yourself clicking, before it disappears like a demon in the night...

🤘 🖤
July 23, 2025 at 11:00 PM
July 23, 2025 at 1:12 AM
You cannot kill The Metal.

The Metal lives on.

RIP to the Prince of Darkness.
July 22, 2025 at 7:36 PM
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Congrats to Stephen Colbert for never bending the knee.
July 17, 2025 at 11:59 PM
Jurassic World Rebirth was a genuinely bad movie. The script, dialogue, and musical score were the worst the series has suffered.

It was boring, nonsensical, ignored it's own logic, and was just all-around unpleasant to watch even in moment-to-moment.

The DP and visual FX team did great, however.
July 6, 2025 at 12:16 AM
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Needed this reminder today.
July 3, 2025 at 10:01 PM
Anyone who voted YES on the BBB, and their supporters, belong in the trash.
July 2, 2025 at 4:50 AM
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why is anyone even paying attention to the NYT at this point, they're just Newsmax with pinkies out
Looks like the immediate NYTs reaction is to blame it on Padilla, so that's awesome
June 12, 2025 at 7:21 PM
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You can commission me for paintings like this
June 7, 2025 at 10:43 AM
I need some good news to come out of this weekend, and I need it yesterday.
June 8, 2025 at 3:28 AM
Rewatched Rogue One after finishing Andor, and while I love how Andor re-contextualizes the entire film for the better...I realized why I think Rogue One falls a little flat for me:

The musical score is not-good. OT music ques aside, it feels disconnected and lacks impact WRT anything on-screen.
June 8, 2025 at 1:14 AM
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LAPD has never worked as hard to get your bike back as they will to shoot your eye out with less lethals because you're protesting.
June 7, 2025 at 3:35 AM
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Here’s another clip of the moment a protester went to kick back a gas canister and was met with a ton of fire from Border Patrol agents. One of those canisters hit me in the foot.
June 7, 2025 at 10:30 PM
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Look at what we can do just out walking the fucking dog in capris and flip flops lol imagine what we could do if we had, ya know, weapons and training and armor
June 7, 2025 at 11:42 PM
I'm probably in the minority here, but I *loathe* the War of the Lions update to #FinalFantasyTactics on PSP.

Stretched aspect ratio aside (on PSP), I preferred the original PS1 translation over the faux-cockney/"old-timey" English dialogue they used in the WotL translation.

Oh well.
June 5, 2025 at 11:30 PM
Sometimes it's OK to add a little dish soap to the humus.

As a treat.
June 5, 2025 at 9:53 PM