@newfster.bsky.social
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omg they even ate the bones
June 29, 2025 at 7:06 PM
omg they even ate the bones
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Grandma Concerned About Dinner Roll Count
theonion.com/grandma...
theonion.com/grandma...
June 19, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Grandma Concerned About Dinner Roll Count
theonion.com/grandma...
theonion.com/grandma...
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cop: do you know why I pulled you over?
me: because you had an emotionally distant father, an overbearing mother, married a woman just like her, your kids hate you, and you’re taking your anger and frustration out on me?
cop: [holding back tears] because your gas cap is open
me: because you had an emotionally distant father, an overbearing mother, married a woman just like her, your kids hate you, and you’re taking your anger and frustration out on me?
cop: [holding back tears] because your gas cap is open
June 15, 2025 at 4:46 PM
cop: do you know why I pulled you over?
me: because you had an emotionally distant father, an overbearing mother, married a woman just like her, your kids hate you, and you’re taking your anger and frustration out on me?
cop: [holding back tears] because your gas cap is open
me: because you had an emotionally distant father, an overbearing mother, married a woman just like her, your kids hate you, and you’re taking your anger and frustration out on me?
cop: [holding back tears] because your gas cap is open
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Runaway Kangaroo Shuts Down Alabama Highway
theonion.com/runaway...
theonion.com/runaway...
May 4, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Runaway Kangaroo Shuts Down Alabama Highway
theonion.com/runaway...
theonion.com/runaway...
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Here is a baby otter to make you feel better about everything.
April 27, 2025 at 8:40 AM
Here is a baby otter to make you feel better about everything.
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Many thanks to @maddow.msnbc.com for featuring so much of @wired.com's DOGE reporting last night.
April 10, 2025 at 9:17 PM
Many thanks to @maddow.msnbc.com for featuring so much of @wired.com's DOGE reporting last night.
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New Study Shows People With Panic Disorders Respond Poorly To Being Locked In Underwater Elevators
theonion.com/new-stu...
theonion.com/new-stu...
April 4, 2025 at 2:30 PM
New Study Shows People With Panic Disorders Respond Poorly To Being Locked In Underwater Elevators
theonion.com/new-stu...
theonion.com/new-stu...
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The TESLA (a/k/a "TESLER") TAKEDOWN is working... WORLDWIDE!
Turns out people really resent an unelected weirdo running our Government & creating economic chaos. Hit Elmo where it really hurts: in his big, fat wallet. If we #TankTesla, It's Ex-X! (a/k/a Twitter) #WinWin
Visit www.takedowntesla.com
Turns out people really resent an unelected weirdo running our Government & creating economic chaos. Hit Elmo where it really hurts: in his big, fat wallet. If we #TankTesla, It's Ex-X! (a/k/a Twitter) #WinWin
Visit www.takedowntesla.com
March 17, 2025 at 7:37 PM
The TESLA (a/k/a "TESLER") TAKEDOWN is working... WORLDWIDE!
Turns out people really resent an unelected weirdo running our Government & creating economic chaos. Hit Elmo where it really hurts: in his big, fat wallet. If we #TankTesla, It's Ex-X! (a/k/a Twitter) #WinWin
Visit www.takedowntesla.com
Turns out people really resent an unelected weirdo running our Government & creating economic chaos. Hit Elmo where it really hurts: in his big, fat wallet. If we #TankTesla, It's Ex-X! (a/k/a Twitter) #WinWin
Visit www.takedowntesla.com
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Last night I dreamt Elon lost so much money that the bank repossessed his hair.
March 18, 2025 at 2:43 AM
Last night I dreamt Elon lost so much money that the bank repossessed his hair.
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He’s gone too far now
idk but this condom tutorial seems to be setting some unrealistic standards
March 14, 2025 at 8:02 PM
He’s gone too far now
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Democrats Vow Not To Give Up Hopelessness
Democrats Vow Not To Give Up Hopelessness
WASHINGTON, DC—In a press conference on the steps of the Capitol Monday, Congressional Democrats announced that, despite the scandals plaguing the Republican Party and widespread calls for change in W...
theonion.com
March 14, 2025 at 9:20 PM
Democrats Vow Not To Give Up Hopelessness
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New Square Feature Allows Customers To Tip With Bible Quote
theonion.com/new-squ...
theonion.com/new-squ...
January 26, 2025 at 7:00 PM
New Square Feature Allows Customers To Tip With Bible Quote
theonion.com/new-squ...
theonion.com/new-squ...
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Yesterday they renamed it the Gulf of America. Today it's snowing on the Gulf Coast. I'm not saying I did it... but I'm also not saying I didn't.
January 23, 2025 at 1:21 AM
Yesterday they renamed it the Gulf of America. Today it's snowing on the Gulf Coast. I'm not saying I did it... but I'm also not saying I didn't.
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1,460 days left till Donold leaves office.
What will you do with that time?
Will you defy?
Will you hold your own leaders accountable for their inaction?
What will you do with that time?
Will you defy?
Will you hold your own leaders accountable for their inaction?
January 21, 2025 at 11:01 PM
1,460 days left till Donold leaves office.
What will you do with that time?
Will you defy?
Will you hold your own leaders accountable for their inaction?
What will you do with that time?
Will you defy?
Will you hold your own leaders accountable for their inaction?