Mr Quiggle
@mr-quiggle.bsky.social
Into metal, movies and puerile humour. Wokeflake.
Reposted by Mr Quiggle
ME: if pee comes out of a penis then a butt should be called a poonis
DR: okay fine stop sticking things up your poonis
DR: okay fine stop sticking things up your poonis
December 6, 2025 at 4:19 AM
ME: if pee comes out of a penis then a butt should be called a poonis
DR: okay fine stop sticking things up your poonis
DR: okay fine stop sticking things up your poonis
My friend is so argumentative: he'll argue up is down and down is up. But then, he is an Australian bat.
August 29, 2025 at 7:17 AM
My friend is so argumentative: he'll argue up is down and down is up. But then, he is an Australian bat.
@helenlohara.bsky.social Hi Helen, I have a question for the pod:
To make up for the overwhelming volume of lacklustre live-action remakes, you are allowed to pick any live-action film and Disney will turn it into an old-school, hand-drawn animated family classic. What film do you choose?
To make up for the overwhelming volume of lacklustre live-action remakes, you are allowed to pick any live-action film and Disney will turn it into an old-school, hand-drawn animated family classic. What film do you choose?
August 4, 2025 at 7:13 AM
@helenlohara.bsky.social Hi Helen, I have a question for the pod:
To make up for the overwhelming volume of lacklustre live-action remakes, you are allowed to pick any live-action film and Disney will turn it into an old-school, hand-drawn animated family classic. What film do you choose?
To make up for the overwhelming volume of lacklustre live-action remakes, you are allowed to pick any live-action film and Disney will turn it into an old-school, hand-drawn animated family classic. What film do you choose?
I like my beer how I like my men; strong, dark and huge penises.
July 22, 2025 at 7:07 PM
I like my beer how I like my men; strong, dark and huge penises.
Chihuahua? Chika-wa-wa!
July 11, 2025 at 10:43 PM
Chihuahua? Chika-wa-wa!
Bichon Frise? Bichon Frisky!
July 11, 2025 at 10:41 PM
Bichon Frise? Bichon Frisky!
Labrador? Labra-phwoar!
July 11, 2025 at 10:38 PM
Labrador? Labra-phwoar!
If Beyonce gets away with singing for 'All the single ladies' while married, I'm dedicating my next song to 'All the well-hung gentlemen.'
July 9, 2025 at 7:29 PM
If Beyonce gets away with singing for 'All the single ladies' while married, I'm dedicating my next song to 'All the well-hung gentlemen.'
Reposted by Mr Quiggle
Cunnilingus: easier done than said.
July 4, 2025 at 11:33 AM
Cunnilingus: easier done than said.
My wife insists that our new son will receive most benefit from her natural breast milk. Yet when I offer my natural penis milk...
July 4, 2025 at 10:56 PM
My wife insists that our new son will receive most benefit from her natural breast milk. Yet when I offer my natural penis milk...
Your mother is so fat, it wouldn't be appropriate to make fun of her.
July 4, 2025 at 10:03 PM
Your mother is so fat, it wouldn't be appropriate to make fun of her.
Top 3 best-selling brands of toilet paper in England:
1 - Smears Ultra
2 - Princess Di Wipes
3 - Ignorant Bliss (red toilet paper)
1 - Smears Ultra
2 - Princess Di Wipes
3 - Ignorant Bliss (red toilet paper)
July 4, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Top 3 best-selling brands of toilet paper in England:
1 - Smears Ultra
2 - Princess Di Wipes
3 - Ignorant Bliss (red toilet paper)
1 - Smears Ultra
2 - Princess Di Wipes
3 - Ignorant Bliss (red toilet paper)
Reposted by Mr Quiggle
ME: [looking at a drawing my 5 year old made] wow that's an awesome..... Shrek??
HER: DADDY! IT'S YOU!
ME: wow. ok seriously, fuck you
HER: DADDY! IT'S YOU!
ME: wow. ok seriously, fuck you
December 24, 2024 at 8:15 PM
ME: [looking at a drawing my 5 year old made] wow that's an awesome..... Shrek??
HER: DADDY! IT'S YOU!
ME: wow. ok seriously, fuck you
HER: DADDY! IT'S YOU!
ME: wow. ok seriously, fuck you
I know Southampton were better second half there, but the only way Liverpool could have been more disrespectful with their substitutions would have been to replace Kelleher with an empty packet of crisps. #LFC
December 18, 2024 at 10:01 PM
I know Southampton were better second half there, but the only way Liverpool could have been more disrespectful with their substitutions would have been to replace Kelleher with an empty packet of crisps. #LFC
Got to entertain a couple of teenagers this weekend. They're still into battered porn mags found in a bush, and sniffing glue, right?
December 7, 2024 at 6:41 PM
Got to entertain a couple of teenagers this weekend. They're still into battered porn mags found in a bush, and sniffing glue, right?
Finally taught myself to shit out my dick. Unfortunately, I'm now spending almost all my time turning down offers to audition for the next series of Britain's Got Talent.
December 5, 2024 at 9:22 PM
Finally taught myself to shit out my dick. Unfortunately, I'm now spending almost all my time turning down offers to audition for the next series of Britain's Got Talent.
She's got the body of Venus, the mind of Aristotle and the spirit of Keir Starmer.
December 5, 2024 at 9:09 PM
She's got the body of Venus, the mind of Aristotle and the spirit of Keir Starmer.
Should I be worried how unfeasibly massive my friend's shween is? Asking for a friend.
December 5, 2024 at 8:21 PM
Should I be worried how unfeasibly massive my friend's shween is? Asking for a friend.
Unpopular opinion: I like cancer.
December 3, 2024 at 9:49 PM
Unpopular opinion: I like cancer.
Reposted by Mr Quiggle
Sorry I got drunk and dry humped your inflatable snowman.
I’ll patch him up.
I’ll patch him up.
December 3, 2024 at 1:32 PM
Sorry I got drunk and dry humped your inflatable snowman.
I’ll patch him up.
I’ll patch him up.
I'm a lover, not a fighter. My self-defence technique involves humping the attacker's leg until completion.
December 3, 2024 at 7:54 PM
I'm a lover, not a fighter. My self-defence technique involves humping the attacker's leg until completion.
Really pissed off I can't shoot lasers out of my arse. Might get the 2,948,748 who signed the petition for another general election to start one for me.
December 3, 2024 at 7:38 PM
Really pissed off I can't shoot lasers out of my arse. Might get the 2,948,748 who signed the petition for another general election to start one for me.
After the 3 wise men visited, Jesus was attended to by the 3 dullards, bringing gifts of watch batteries, Zippo lighters and those sweets that look like cigarettes.
December 2, 2024 at 8:46 PM
After the 3 wise men visited, Jesus was attended to by the 3 dullards, bringing gifts of watch batteries, Zippo lighters and those sweets that look like cigarettes.
How do I sign the mother-in-law up for this assisted dying bill then? #good70shumour
November 30, 2024 at 9:36 PM
How do I sign the mother-in-law up for this assisted dying bill then? #good70shumour