It's an insult to my intelligence when an actor appears in multiple movies. You were just an elf and now I'm supposed to believe you're an accountant? I will not be played for a fool

Thank god I grew up with stuffing because if I’d never heard of it before and someone showed up to my house as an adult with wet bread and celery casserole my first instinct would be to beat their ass.

I love using many different apps on my phone

there’s only 2 types of guys in this world:

1. guys named Derek
2. guys not named Derek

i love women

I’m worried that kids today are growing up without a video game series that teaches them 13 or 15 similar sounding skate punk songs

Godzilla and King Kong are such great ambassadors for their respective cultures, one is like “what if our atomic hubris called forth an agent of our destruction from the very seas that birthed us” and one is like “what if monsters wanted our white women”

Look, if cranberries can be weird and bitter and still liked by roughly half the people at Thanksgiving dinner, then so can you!

Eating too much cake is the sin of gluttony. However, eating too much pie is okay because the sin of pi is always zero.
🖖

@thecheesegoddess.bsky.social

i’m starting to think my girlfriend might like-like me

i’m feeling very “chappell roan - naked in manhattan” today and i have no meaningful way to express it

I’m sick of the Louvre gatekeeping access to great works of art. They should let you borrow the Mona Lisa for the weekend

i love gay people so much good morning gay people

i’m begging all trans people (or people who are close with trans people) to watch “I Saw The TV Glow” asap. it is an amazing representation of the trans experience, and i haven’t stopped thinking about it since my first watch 🏳️‍⚧️