Matt Olson
@metalson.bsky.social
LA based sketch comedy heretic, doom metal zealot and self-taught freelance marine biologist. Parody account, not the real @Metalson.bsky.social. he/him🖕
If I said something you don’t like it doesn’t matter it’s not a big deal.
If I said something you don’t like it doesn’t matter it’s not a big deal.
Pinned
Matt Olson
@metalson.bsky.social
· Sep 17
I hope whoever ends up murdering me isn’t very attractive.
Reposted by Matt Olson
I think it’s highly problematic that “The Chair Company” is encouraging young impressionable viewers to engage in retail development.
November 19, 2025 at 10:49 PM
I think it’s highly problematic that “The Chair Company” is encouraging young impressionable viewers to engage in retail development.
It’s always so embarrassing when you make a joke and someone responds by saying “well played”.
November 18, 2025 at 9:37 PM
It’s always so embarrassing when you make a joke and someone responds by saying “well played”.
They’re making Bluesky replies over on threads now, this place is cooked.
November 14, 2025 at 7:24 PM
They’re making Bluesky replies over on threads now, this place is cooked.
Europe is never gonna take climate change seriously until they switch to Fahrenheit.
November 13, 2025 at 7:52 PM
Europe is never gonna take climate change seriously until they switch to Fahrenheit.
Congress made it illegal for weed products to have low levels of THC? Finally some good news.
November 13, 2025 at 6:36 PM
Congress made it illegal for weed products to have low levels of THC? Finally some good news.
They make it WAY too complicated to figure out it how to file a declaration of intent to run to be the Mayor of Los Angeles
November 12, 2025 at 5:54 AM
They make it WAY too complicated to figure out it how to file a declaration of intent to run to be the Mayor of Los Angeles
Within each person is a Rodney Dangerfield impersonator and a Borat impersonator, locked in an eternal struggle over how to talk about their wife.
November 12, 2025 at 12:29 AM
Within each person is a Rodney Dangerfield impersonator and a Borat impersonator, locked in an eternal struggle over how to talk about their wife.
(Me giving my child self esteem issues)
“Don’t smile with your mouth open honey, it makes you look like Mr Beast”
“Don’t smile with your mouth open honey, it makes you look like Mr Beast”
November 10, 2025 at 10:56 PM
(Me giving my child self esteem issues)
“Don’t smile with your mouth open honey, it makes you look like Mr Beast”
“Don’t smile with your mouth open honey, it makes you look like Mr Beast”
Reposted by Matt Olson
Her husband told her that detainees at Broadview had to get up at 5am to get in line for one bathroom. He often peed himself. One time he had to wait until 2pm to use the bathroom. You could only use the bathroom once a day. He said the agents would beat you if you used the bathroom on yourself.
November 7, 2025 at 3:08 AM
Her husband told her that detainees at Broadview had to get up at 5am to get in line for one bathroom. He often peed himself. One time he had to wait until 2pm to use the bathroom. You could only use the bathroom once a day. He said the agents would beat you if you used the bathroom on yourself.
That’s right I followed you so I could reply to your post and then immediately unfollowed you, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
November 6, 2025 at 1:28 AM
That’s right I followed you so I could reply to your post and then immediately unfollowed you, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Reposted by Matt Olson
I hope AI keeps brain rotting republican political campaigns into defeat.
November 5, 2025 at 10:24 PM
I hope AI keeps brain rotting republican political campaigns into defeat.
They’re gonna need to make a New New Norm now.
November 5, 2025 at 7:07 PM
They’re gonna need to make a New New Norm now.
Death Grips dead, Dick Cheney elected, and new Mamdani album announced all in the span of 24 hrs??? 🔥
November 5, 2025 at 6:14 PM
Death Grips dead, Dick Cheney elected, and new Mamdani album announced all in the span of 24 hrs??? 🔥
Looking at an election results map even though I only understand NYC through The Warriors:
“What the fuck, only The Gerrards supported Cuomo? Get a load of these mick losers!”
“What the fuck, only The Gerrards supported Cuomo? Get a load of these mick losers!”
November 5, 2025 at 2:49 AM
Looking at an election results map even though I only understand NYC through The Warriors:
“What the fuck, only The Gerrards supported Cuomo? Get a load of these mick losers!”
“What the fuck, only The Gerrards supported Cuomo? Get a load of these mick losers!”
Wrote in “Zohran Mamdani” for the CA prop 50 vote 🙏
November 4, 2025 at 7:38 PM
Wrote in “Zohran Mamdani” for the CA prop 50 vote 🙏
I hope every luxury apartment in NYC that is vacated by a rich person fleeing Mamdani is reclaimed by the natural forces of the city and becomes a ska-core squat.
November 4, 2025 at 2:24 AM
I hope every luxury apartment in NYC that is vacated by a rich person fleeing Mamdani is reclaimed by the natural forces of the city and becomes a ska-core squat.
BREAKING NOW: Posthumous Andrew Cuomo endorsement by the lost prophets guy recorded on a prison iPhone just before his death.
November 3, 2025 at 11:43 PM
BREAKING NOW: Posthumous Andrew Cuomo endorsement by the lost prophets guy recorded on a prison iPhone just before his death.
Cuomo is gonna get a last-minute endorsement from Andrew Tate that will really turn this race around.
November 3, 2025 at 11:32 PM
Cuomo is gonna get a last-minute endorsement from Andrew Tate that will really turn this race around.
I would never follow an account without liking one of their posts first so they know how they got me. I would never do that to someone.
November 3, 2025 at 9:48 PM
I would never follow an account without liking one of their posts first so they know how they got me. I would never do that to someone.
If you have a neat and well organized desktop I’m gonna assume you’re a serial killer or something I’m sorry who’s got fucking time for that shit.
November 3, 2025 at 6:10 PM
If you have a neat and well organized desktop I’m gonna assume you’re a serial killer or something I’m sorry who’s got fucking time for that shit.
Reposted by Matt Olson
Appreciate this coverage but it is hard to explain to people not in the Chicago area that THESE ARE NOT PROTESTS.
This is people coming out of their homes, doing anything in their power to try to stop their neighbors from being kidnapped.
It is coming for your city next, please be prepared.
This is people coming out of their homes, doing anything in their power to try to stop their neighbors from being kidnapped.
It is coming for your city next, please be prepared.
New from Bellingcat: “‘Pattern of Extreme Brutality’ — Tear gas, pepper balls among weapons used by federal agents at Illinois immigration protests.”
Read the full investigation:
www.bellingcat.com/news/2025/10...
Read the full investigation:
www.bellingcat.com/news/2025/10...
Tear Gas, Pepper Balls Among Weapons Deployed Against Illinois Protesters
A judge recently issued a restraining order on crowd-control tactics by federal agents in the state, including those involved in Operation Midway Blitz.
www.bellingcat.com
October 31, 2025 at 9:04 PM
Appreciate this coverage but it is hard to explain to people not in the Chicago area that THESE ARE NOT PROTESTS.
This is people coming out of their homes, doing anything in their power to try to stop their neighbors from being kidnapped.
It is coming for your city next, please be prepared.
This is people coming out of their homes, doing anything in their power to try to stop their neighbors from being kidnapped.
It is coming for your city next, please be prepared.
People in LA are always talking about Go (1999) directed by Doug Liman, starring Sarah Polley, Timothy Olyphant, and Katie Holmes, but how about Go (1999) directed by Doug Liman, starring Sarah Polley, Timothy Olyphant, and Katie Holmes to the polls?
October 28, 2025 at 9:08 PM
People in LA are always talking about Go (1999) directed by Doug Liman, starring Sarah Polley, Timothy Olyphant, and Katie Holmes, but how about Go (1999) directed by Doug Liman, starring Sarah Polley, Timothy Olyphant, and Katie Holmes to the polls?
For those of you who are ascended beings of pure light and energy, what is your advice for people just starting to suspect the universe is internally constructed within the mind?
October 27, 2025 at 10:04 PM
For those of you who are ascended beings of pure light and energy, what is your advice for people just starting to suspect the universe is internally constructed within the mind?
The letter J has no business being that high up in the alphabet and we all know it.
October 24, 2025 at 7:04 PM
The letter J has no business being that high up in the alphabet and we all know it.