Max Davis
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maxdavis.bsky.social
Max Davis
@maxdavis.bsky.social
Writes jokes for TV so you’d think I’d be happier
Do you think air looks at water and thinks “nobody has to remind people to take more of me you dummy”?
December 11, 2024 at 7:30 PM
Apparently Matt Gaetz has promised to go after everyone on Santa’s naughty list
December 4, 2024 at 7:46 PM
Reposted by Max Davis
Dear me in 6 months,

You stupid bitch. You never learn.
November 28, 2024 at 10:38 PM
Sometimes it feels like nothing I scream in couples therapy is helping
November 28, 2024 at 10:44 PM
Ep 2 of Legends of Comedy now on Channel 4. Featuring the amazing Sally Phillips and written by me and Lenny Henry! Enjoy the blurry picture of my credit that only took 11 tries to get right
November 28, 2024 at 11:59 AM
Reposted by Max Davis
I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish I’d paid attention when subsequent song lyrics were mentioned
September 2, 2024 at 10:47 PM
This job paved the way for me to become a full time comedy writer or as my 3 year old calls it “looking out of the window all day again”
Staff Writer Role: BBC Studios Audio (Comedy and Entertainment). To work with producers to develop own comedy projects whilst contributing to scripts across whole department as needed. Will get to play key role in writers rooms and develop characters/sitcom ideas careers.bbc.co.uk/job/London-S...
Staff Writer, BBC Studios Audio (Comedy and Entertainment)
Staff Writer, BBC Studios Audio (Comedy and Entertainment)
careers.bbc.co.uk
November 19, 2024 at 9:44 AM
Reposted by Max Davis
[crooning]

L is for the way I lick your peen
O is for the orgasms you scream
V is very very slippery wet and hairy
E ejaculate in ropey streams across my butt
And LOVE is what we call this thing we do
LOVE is sweaty fun for 3 or 2
More than 3 can make it but it gets more complicated…
September 27, 2024 at 4:35 PM
Reposted by Max Davis
[crashing your wedding] “wow this place is a real echo chamber.”
November 17, 2024 at 6:34 PM
ME: President Kennedy! I’m from the future, to warn you your nephew will grow up to enable a dictator!

JFK: Okay, anything else I need to worry about?

ME: I don’t know man, I’m not really a history buff
November 17, 2024 at 6:20 PM
The worst thing to happen to a Kennedy in a vehicle, since JFK drove through Dallas
November 17, 2024 at 5:50 PM
Reposted by Max Davis
Got called into HR for being too handsome and charming again. Those weren’t the words they used, but I can read between the lines.
November 13, 2024 at 2:43 PM
Lenny Henry’s Legends of Comedy starts tonight on Channel 4 at 8:15pm Written by me! 👀
November 16, 2024 at 1:58 PM
When I make that little signing gesture in a restaurant, I’m not asking for the bill, I’m encouraging the waiter to finish their screenplay
September 13, 2024 at 11:18 AM
I mean, anyone can just say things can’t they? I’m going to put a pumpkin on Venus in eleventy staples. See it’s easy
September 8, 2024 at 5:57 PM
DOCTOR: Please rate the pain between 1 and not getting cast in the school production of Oliver
September 6, 2024 at 9:38 AM
Reposted by Max Davis
The only way to dispose of a used Q-Tip that has landed behind the toilet is to burn down your entire house.
September 5, 2024 at 7:33 PM
And therefore I can reveal that the murderer is none other than… I’m so sorry we were introduced earlier but remind me
September 5, 2024 at 5:39 PM
Reposted by Max Davis
THERAPIST: Let's do some word association.

ME: Night.

THERAPIST: What?

ME: Black.

THERAPIST: We didn't start yet.

ME: Up.

THERAPIST: Oh boy.

ME: Girl.
September 4, 2024 at 6:52 PM
Your porn star name is your first pet plus whatever people called you when you started having sex on camera for money
September 4, 2024 at 10:04 PM