Matt Epley
@mattepley.bsky.social
CSCS, NSCA-CPT, masters track & field, and powerlifting ninja with a 12-to-6 curveball.
Garage gym snob and owner of a 2-acre sandbox/ninja warrior course.
Studier of sports psychology, cults & high-demand groups, & deprogramming.
Garage gym snob and owner of a 2-acre sandbox/ninja warrior course.
Studier of sports psychology, cults & high-demand groups, & deprogramming.
Just another #WarOnSithmas, from a certain point of view.
May 4, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Just another #WarOnSithmas, from a certain point of view.
Reposted by Matt Epley
MOST FUN THINGS TO DO ON THE TOILET, RANKED
#1: #2
#2: #1
#1: #2
#2: #1
February 8, 2025 at 3:55 AM
MOST FUN THINGS TO DO ON THE TOILET, RANKED
#1: #2
#2: #1
#1: #2
#2: #1
Reposted by Matt Epley
Please take a moment at the end of the work week to watch this important video (with sound):
January 10, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Please take a moment at the end of the work week to watch this important video (with sound):
I slit the sheet,
the sheet I slit,
and on the slitted sheet I sit.
-Navin R. Johnson, poet laureate
the sheet I slit,
and on the slitted sheet I sit.
-Navin R. Johnson, poet laureate
December 18, 2024 at 2:43 AM
I slit the sheet,
the sheet I slit,
and on the slitted sheet I sit.
-Navin R. Johnson, poet laureate
the sheet I slit,
and on the slitted sheet I sit.
-Navin R. Johnson, poet laureate
I've enjoyed so much of Kristen Bell's work dating back to Sarah Marshall and Fanboys, but I'll remember her most for sharing this little blurb during an interview a few years ago:
"Honesty without tact is cruelty."
Even then, she made sure she quoted her therapist.
"Honesty without tact is cruelty."
Even then, she made sure she quoted her therapist.
December 18, 2024 at 2:38 AM
I've enjoyed so much of Kristen Bell's work dating back to Sarah Marshall and Fanboys, but I'll remember her most for sharing this little blurb during an interview a few years ago:
"Honesty without tact is cruelty."
Even then, she made sure she quoted her therapist.
"Honesty without tact is cruelty."
Even then, she made sure she quoted her therapist.
$218,000,000.00 ...and I bet they didn't even ask if he knew when to cover first base.
December 11, 2024 at 12:13 AM
$218,000,000.00 ...and I bet they didn't even ask if he knew when to cover first base.
Reposted by Matt Epley
star wars did give us a slur for robots (clankers) but i don’t use it bc i don’t want to have to look a robot in the eye in fifty years and be like “you don’t understand it was a different time…”
December 3, 2024 at 4:16 PM
star wars did give us a slur for robots (clankers) but i don’t use it bc i don’t want to have to look a robot in the eye in fifty years and be like “you don’t understand it was a different time…”
...then Paddington tried planting his flag at midfield and a massacre ensued.
December 2, 2024 at 8:06 PM
...then Paddington tried planting his flag at midfield and a massacre ensued.
DC Comics gave me the unrealistic expectation that only literate and well-spoken oligarchs like Lex Luthor could become president.
Gillian’s Island gave me unrealistic expectations about the possibility of dying in quicksand…
Predator gave me unrealistic expectations about handshakes
November 29, 2024 at 6:30 AM
DC Comics gave me the unrealistic expectation that only literate and well-spoken oligarchs like Lex Luthor could become president.
Reposted by Matt Epley
I see what he did there.
November 23, 2024 at 3:19 AM
I see what he did there.
In the past 5+ years, I've survived a pandemic, witnessed riots and an insurrection in real-time, and processed the horror of wars and rumors of wars in diverse places as foretold by ancient prophecies.
And through it all...I never...ever...EVER...shook the echoes of the FarmersOnly.com jingle.
And through it all...I never...ever...EVER...shook the echoes of the FarmersOnly.com jingle.
November 14, 2024 at 5:56 AM
In the past 5+ years, I've survived a pandemic, witnessed riots and an insurrection in real-time, and processed the horror of wars and rumors of wars in diverse places as foretold by ancient prophecies.
And through it all...I never...ever...EVER...shook the echoes of the FarmersOnly.com jingle.
And through it all...I never...ever...EVER...shook the echoes of the FarmersOnly.com jingle.