Mark Agee
@markagee.bsky.social
I write stuff and jokes, sometimes for TV shows for money. I like fried pickles.
“Americans will remember the losers who lost on purpose, and take our side, in hopes that we gain resolve that we don’t have, then we will definitely surrender again”
Hassan: With the government reopening shortly, Republicans now finally have to come to the table. Or make no mistake, Americans will remember who stood in the way.
November 10, 2025 at 4:55 AM
“Americans will remember the losers who lost on purpose, and take our side, in hopes that we gain resolve that we don’t have, then we will definitely surrender again”
I’ve typed and deleted about 14 responses to lying coward politicians who I hope die in as much pain as they are complicit in, how is everyone else
November 10, 2025 at 4:09 AM
I’ve typed and deleted about 14 responses to lying coward politicians who I hope die in as much pain as they are complicit in, how is everyone else
I’m not sure how “moderate” and “coward” became synonymous. Surely someone who’s for moderate marginal tax rates once charged a machine gun nest or held up under questioning. Hell of a sales job
November 10, 2025 at 3:56 AM
I’m not sure how “moderate” and “coward” became synonymous. Surely someone who’s for moderate marginal tax rates once charged a machine gun nest or held up under questioning. Hell of a sales job
I’m hearing Chuck Schumer traded Luka
November 10, 2025 at 2:37 AM
I’m hearing Chuck Schumer traded Luka
James Madison pitching the third amendment: "Greg Bovino shan't be entitled to tacos for a late lunch"
Bovino went into popular Carniceria Aguascalientes in heart of Little Village.
“They said they were just here to buy something,” said Elizabeth Gutierrez. “I told them we wouldn’t serve them and escorted them out. Bovino seemed upset, but I don’t care.” www.chicagotribune.com/2025/11/08/c...
“They said they were just here to buy something,” said Elizabeth Gutierrez. “I told them we wouldn’t serve them and escorted them out. Bovino seemed upset, but I don’t care.” www.chicagotribune.com/2025/11/08/c...
Shots fired at immigration agents in Little Village as residents confront Bovino, Border Patrol, authorities say
Community members once again confronted a convoy of Border Patrol agents led by Cmdr. Gregory Bovino as it moved through Chicago’s South Side neighborhoods.
www.chicagotribune.com
November 9, 2025 at 5:08 PM
James Madison pitching the third amendment: "Greg Bovino shan't be entitled to tacos for a late lunch"
It's fun that he's gonna keep running for lesser and lesser offices until he wins. I congratulate future Andrew Cuomo on spending $4 million of Bill Ackman's money to win 6th grade class president on a platform of "Homework Stinks"
November 8, 2025 at 5:17 PM
It's fun that he's gonna keep running for lesser and lesser offices until he wins. I congratulate future Andrew Cuomo on spending $4 million of Bill Ackman's money to win 6th grade class president on a platform of "Homework Stinks"
Rapidly trying to shove the pee buckets and pears of anguish into the closet before mom and dad get home
Magistrate judge plans visit to ICE Broadview facility amid lawsuit over conditions
From @chicago.suntimes.com: chicago.suntimes.com/immigration/...
From @chicago.suntimes.com: chicago.suntimes.com/immigration/...
Magistrate judge plans visit to ICE Broadview facility amid lawsuit over conditions
The visit has been tentatively planned for Thursday morning, and details will be sorted out early next week.
chicago.suntimes.com
November 8, 2025 at 12:45 AM
Rapidly trying to shove the pee buckets and pears of anguish into the closet before mom and dad get home
I wish the sandwich was a po' boy so we could call it jury nullificajun
November 6, 2025 at 8:14 PM
I wish the sandwich was a po' boy so we could call it jury nullificajun
Consider, Sam Altman will spend some of this money on sodas and name brand snacks
OpenAI is requesting financial support from the government for its expansion, per Bloomberg.
OpenAI wants taxpayers to guarantee its debt. They’re asking the government to guarantee loans like a co-signer).
When private companies start asking for public funds, it’s a sign the bubble will pop.
OpenAI wants taxpayers to guarantee its debt. They’re asking the government to guarantee loans like a co-signer).
When private companies start asking for public funds, it’s a sign the bubble will pop.
November 6, 2025 at 4:22 PM
Consider, Sam Altman will spend some of this money on sodas and name brand snacks
Nancy Pelosi: "I want to spend more time insider trading with my family"
November 6, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Nancy Pelosi: "I want to spend more time insider trading with my family"
"They call him the Flasher Slasher Crasher Masher. He shows people his dick, then stabs them, then runs them over with free city buses. Then he hands out bracelets to teens that represent sex acts. Also, he started a new gang that's twice as bad called MS-26"
NYC is going to have the world's biggest media-manufactured crime panic in history the second Mamdani is elected. They aren't even going to wait until he is inaugurated. Whether or not you like the guy, you need to start preparing now for the fire hose of disinformation that is about to activate.
November 5, 2025 at 4:50 PM
"They call him the Flasher Slasher Crasher Masher. He shows people his dick, then stabs them, then runs them over with free city buses. Then he hands out bracelets to teens that represent sex acts. Also, he started a new gang that's twice as bad called MS-26"
The Centrist Punditburo Nerdstasi constantly talks politics but never values. “Caring about people and actually giving a shit to your core if they are being fucked” is every single person’s number one issue, but it isn’t a thing you can poll
November 5, 2025 at 4:02 AM
The Centrist Punditburo Nerdstasi constantly talks politics but never values. “Caring about people and actually giving a shit to your core if they are being fucked” is every single person’s number one issue, but it isn’t a thing you can poll
Reposted by Mark Agee
if democrats are serious about winning they need to learn from tonight and convert to islam
November 5, 2025 at 2:48 AM
if democrats are serious about winning they need to learn from tonight and convert to islam
Andrew Cuomo removes his Female Body Inspector hat, his watch has ended. Bagpipes play as he sadly honks some consolation bazongas
November 5, 2025 at 3:27 AM
Andrew Cuomo removes his Female Body Inspector hat, his watch has ended. Bagpipes play as he sadly honks some consolation bazongas
A second Will & Grace reboot where Grace is a "ther doing Shania Law!" person, Karen is QAnon, and Jack is Nick Fuentes
November 4, 2025 at 8:04 PM
A second Will & Grace reboot where Grace is a "ther doing Shania Law!" person, Karen is QAnon, and Jack is Nick Fuentes
"Your honor, we have reason to believe this was a Communist plot because the sandwich was a Cuban"
November 4, 2025 at 4:49 PM
"Your honor, we have reason to believe this was a Communist plot because the sandwich was a Cuban"
"Point of clarification agent, you're saying he put some mustard on it? He put some mustard on the mustard? Let the record show the officer alleges double mustard"
November 4, 2025 at 4:26 PM
"Point of clarification agent, you're saying he put some mustard on it? He put some mustard on the mustard? Let the record show the officer alleges double mustard"
This kind of thing has always been inconceivable to me. "I'm calling a moving truck because of the mayor."
Do you know how you sound? "I'm disconnecting my electricity because of the comptroller." "I'm packing my dishes in newspaper, I'm not inspired by the dog catcher"
Do you know how you sound? "I'm disconnecting my electricity because of the comptroller." "I'm packing my dishes in newspaper, I'm not inspired by the dog catcher"
November 3, 2025 at 4:14 PM
This kind of thing has always been inconceivable to me. "I'm calling a moving truck because of the mayor."
Do you know how you sound? "I'm disconnecting my electricity because of the comptroller." "I'm packing my dishes in newspaper, I'm not inspired by the dog catcher"
Do you know how you sound? "I'm disconnecting my electricity because of the comptroller." "I'm packing my dishes in newspaper, I'm not inspired by the dog catcher"
Today in our “Everyone is 12” dystopia: … Is this horse cop beating a guy with a homemade wooden katana?
LAPD on horses charge at and beat guests standing in line to the Short Stop in Echo Park. @shoton35mm.bsky.social
November 2, 2025 at 6:52 PM
Today in our “Everyone is 12” dystopia: … Is this horse cop beating a guy with a homemade wooden katana?
This is amazing
The story of the smartest baby of 1996 must be told!
ChatGPT made me delusional
YouTube video by Eddy Burback
youtu.be
November 2, 2025 at 4:21 PM
This is amazing
"The cops remind me of the people I grew up with."
"Ok, what about the protesters they're beating, the people being conscripted to Southeast Asia to walk through minefields and breathe chemical agents, and the farmers they're being tasked to kill?"
"... Who?"
"Ok, what about the protesters they're beating, the people being conscripted to Southeast Asia to walk through minefields and breathe chemical agents, and the farmers they're being tasked to kill?"
"... Who?"
![When a young Chuck Schumer arrived at Harvard in 1967 as a freshman, he joined the great political stirring of those years—who could resist it? But Abbie Hoffman he was not. “I was faced with what Alexander Hamilton called mobocracy,” Schumer recalled in his coauthored 2007 book Positively American. He became a College Democrat, canvassed for Eugene McCarthy, and eschewed the radicals. Campus members of the New Left’s Progressive Labor faction horrified him, and he felt “sickened” seeing protesters scream at cops. “The police weren’t pigs. They were the people I’d grown up with. They were my neighbors. My friends. They were the Baileys [imaginary Irish-American Long Islanders with whom Schumer consults on decisions].” Soon enough, Schumer’s party—the College Dems and, of course, their friends the non-college Dems—would pay the price. “By the late ’70s,” Schumer observed, “the Baileys did not trust the Democrats anymore, and the Democrats weren’t listening to the Baileys.”](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:hbpefio3f5csc44msmbgioxz/bafkreiel46xfqpfmntpl5k63lovtbqdnepc4fcvgglcgxgqtmta6ubug5u@jpeg)
November 2, 2025 at 4:01 PM
"The cops remind me of the people I grew up with."
"Ok, what about the protesters they're beating, the people being conscripted to Southeast Asia to walk through minefields and breathe chemical agents, and the farmers they're being tasked to kill?"
"... Who?"
"Ok, what about the protesters they're beating, the people being conscripted to Southeast Asia to walk through minefields and breathe chemical agents, and the farmers they're being tasked to kill?"
"... Who?"
I'm sorry this is so fucking funny. The transitions from the cool guy montage set to "Many Men," to sounding like Milhouse while you narrate buying energy drinks in a corner store, to the slo-mo 'wearing of a tactical helmet in a parking lot.' We live in a Dictatorship of Dwight Schrutes
October 30, 2025 at 3:42 PM
I'm sorry this is so fucking funny. The transitions from the cool guy montage set to "Many Men," to sounding like Milhouse while you narrate buying energy drinks in a corner store, to the slo-mo 'wearing of a tactical helmet in a parking lot.' We live in a Dictatorship of Dwight Schrutes
Richest country in the history of the known universe: Take your hungry kids Trick or Beansin’
October 29, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Richest country in the history of the known universe: Take your hungry kids Trick or Beansin’
It is pretty funny that he's doing all this in an effort to rewrite the top of his obituary and in a Monkey's Paw way he has probably succeeded
What an odious thing to say. www.nytimes.com/live/2025/10...
October 29, 2025 at 3:01 PM
It is pretty funny that he's doing all this in an effort to rewrite the top of his obituary and in a Monkey's Paw way he has probably succeeded