there is no value i would not betray, no friends would not stab in the back, for a brand new, crisp $100 bill

Boycotting the grocery store until they start buying an equivalent volume of groceries from me

Tony Hawk's Pro Skater Warehouse (2000)

lol

Homeboy stopped the wrong lady

(H/T @agirlhasnopres.bsky.social )

My cat, an idiot: Those ornaments look exactly like my toys. Why can’t I play with them?

Me, pinnacle of animals: That felt frog wearing a top hat is to celebrate The Lord

when you're a chiefs fan and you didn't even get to watch them play today, and you wish priest holmes could be on the team again somehow but he can't, and you look at your phone and it's only charged to 73%, and your friend's dad got a parking ticket last year

You just know the other authoritarian leaders are COOKING Yoon Suk Yeol in their group chat after yesterday.

never Metamucil I didn’t like