Scallions are dumb. Be an onion or don’t!

no more reels of people shaking their fingers and then showing how to do some frivolous nonsense "better" pls, I've had enough

"I'll use a boxed cake mix this time."

9 hours later:

what's it called when you don't care about a single song for several years and then Celine Dion is the only thing that could ever have actually mattered on this earth

It's still January.

One thing about me is I lovvve knocking on a freshly-baked loaf of bread. Idk what the sounds mean, I just love to do it.

A mood ring that indicates how hungry I am

How can meat be this anxious?

Good evening to both of my followers. For my first post I would like to announce that I coincidentally got my driver's license on the fifth anniversary of my first period, and those dates were 16 and 21 years ago, respectively, which means my license can drive, and my womanhood can drink. Cheers! 🥂

I'm writing my own eulogy in Mad Libs form. Whoever is in attendance may fill it in as a group. If you don't know the difference between an adverb and an adjective, please remain silent; people are grieving.

This is one of those videos that you could work on forever, but suddenly it felt very important to make it, so I finally did: www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8Pn...

doctor: make sure you drink plenty of fluids

me: that’s literally all i drink