Keef
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keef.org
Keef
@keef.org
930 followers 370 following 1.5K posts
Horror / fairy tale writer, dipshit, he/him. The wolf inside me is the Baba Yaga. Stories in Coffin Bell, X-Ray, Five on the Fifth, &c.
Links to writing at horriblelittlefables.com & weird sound collage podcast at uhid.net
Avatar by James Kochalka.
Posts Replies Media Videos
keef.org
(addressing the young person who’s shown up at my door searching for mentorship in an attempt to defeat the evils in the world)

Sorry, young blood. All these old bones are good for these days is feeling the horrendous malaise of late-stage capitalism and Stardew Valley. G’wan, now. Git.
November 26, 2025 at 1:11 AM
Reposted by Keef
keef.org
You have to throw SOME of your time away. Just fritter it down the well doing things of no import. Sizzle it off like butter in a pan. The goblin frisson of naughty wastrelhood.
August 17, 2023 at 8:20 PM
keef.org
NEW SHORTS WHO DIS
This is a picture of me, poolside, wearing my first pair of bodybuilding shorts (given to me by A Friend). The shorts are leopard-spotted, and come up to cover my navel. My arms are raised and I’m flexing my biceps, like a real tough guy. It turns out that bodybuilding shorts do a great job at concealing one’s gut.
October 2, 2025 at 1:52 PM
keef.org
CALL ME ISHMAEL
An orange cat lying on a bed, mouth caught mid-yawn, teeth bared but somehow still adorable.
August 31, 2025 at 5:36 PM
keef.org
Practicing my “rizzed-up selfies” as an almost fifty year old man. Maybe I’ll get the hang of it in another decade or so.
A “rizzed-up selfie” of yours truly. Beard a little too skraggly. Glasses a little too low. One eyebrow cocked a little too confidently. Smirk not quite smiley enough. Tugging down the collar of my black t-shirt in an unearned gesture of lackluster machismo. Fuck it, I’m still cute
August 31, 2025 at 7:04 AM
keef.org
Live music is such a balm for the soul.
Godspeed You! black Emperror on the stage at Austin Psych Fest. I was close enough to feel the rumble of the stacks, which is a lot of the point.
April 26, 2025 at 2:51 AM
Reposted by Keef
neonsplatter.bsky.social
April 24, 2025 at 3:49 AM
keef.org
Well now. This is probably pretty overdue.
The ceiling of a room. The room is darkened. Shining on the ceiling is a pall of blue light, with a field of green "stars." Also visible on the ceiling: a vent; an emergency fire alarm light; several unlit can lights; another, smaller vent; a CCTV camera.
March 27, 2025 at 7:10 PM
keef.org
Now they know how I feel, at least.
The chat support window for Spotify. Transcript: I'm good, thanks for asking. [Spotify Agent] at 12:21 PM, Feb 18 Can you please elaborate your concern? [Spotify Agent] at 12:21 PM, Feb 18 Well, Joe Rogan is an idiot with an enormous platform that is actively harming both our country and the world at large. It drives me nuts that part of the money I pay to Spotify goes to that goon. I would like to request that none of my subscription money goes to him or his ghoulish podcast. You at 12:22 PM, Feb 18 Follow up Spotify Support chat. Transcript: ... your feedback to the right team, so that they will look into it. We'll make sure to pass your feedback along [Spotify Agent] at 12:34 PM, Feb 18 Thank you! Just register my dissatisfaction that Spotify pays that doofus a ridiculous amount of money to blather his misinformation to ridiculous amounts of people. You at 12:35 PM, Feb 18 Please don't worry, I have taken your concern as a feedback and let the right team know, so that they will look into it. [Spotify Agent] at 12:37 PM, Feb 18
February 18, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Reposted by Keef
danacorn.bsky.social
Boy howdy, do I, a trans woman, have some thoughts about how the gender revolution put a lot more emphasis on letting girls do boy stuff, and almost none on letting boys do girl stuff, which if anything reinforced the idea that girl stuff is inferior if not shameful.
idaclemens.bsky.social Ida Clemens @idaclemens.bsky.social · Feb 16
I think it's one of the strongest examples of how our gender revolution to this point has been incomplete, mostly a half-effort of increasing tolerance for women doing "masculine" tasks without actually degendering most tasks, while it remains taboo for men to indulge anything seen as feminine.
February 16, 2025 at 7:20 PM
keef.org
Hey, neat! It's Amazing Spider-Man 5, from 1963! It's the first time Spidey and Dr. Doom interacted! This was hiding in the corner of a lot I won for a truly cute amount on the internets. Probably the best score I will ever find.
The Amazing Spider-Man number 5! Spidey swings his way across the cover, but Doom has severed his web! He's about to land in some... lava or something! CAPTION: "It had to happen! Sooner or later, SPIDER-MAN was bound to battle DOCTOR DOOM!" Dr. Doom's word balloon: "This is your FINISH, Spider-Man! If the FANTASTIC FOUR couldn't stop me, what chance have YOU?" Art by Steve Ditko.
February 13, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Reposted by Keef
asherelbein.bsky.social
I hate it when my ailing king is usurped by his scheming foreign vizier
February 5, 2025 at 4:30 PM
Reposted by Keef
hookland.bsky.social
The land stirs from winter torpor in snowbell peal, in Stay Below rising. Jackdaws quest for twigs, toads wake. The witch hears whispers of green promise, the song of pussy willow swelling to silver. Feral magics swim her blood. – #EmilyCBanting, 1982 #WitchSky
February 5, 2025 at 10:08 AM
Reposted by Keef
outofnames.bsky.social
Honestly if you show me a cat that can operate a zippo I’ll send them a pack of Virginia Slims.
January 3, 2025 at 3:46 AM
keef.org
Here is another picture of my cat, Weasel, to help your timeline be not all doomscrolling horrors
Weasel, sleeping atop a brown-and-white quilt. She looks a bit like a bright orange stripey cinnamon bun. Her eyes are closed in contentment. If this picture had audio, you could hear her snoring a little bit.
February 5, 2025 at 12:43 AM
keef.org
It amazes me that these motherfuckers are still standing.
February 3, 2025 at 3:58 PM
Reposted by Keef
kenklippenstein.bsky.social
Intelligence officials are starting to leak to me now too. Here’s a memo Defense Intelligence Agency personnel received instructing them to suspend observances including:
- Holocaust Remembrance Day
- MLK Day
- Juneteenth
January 29, 2025 at 3:24 PM
keef.org
Just cancelled my Prime membership. Feels good man.
January 24, 2025 at 10:26 PM
keef.org
Hey, neat! It's the rare British edition of Forbidden Worlds 73, the first appearance of Herbie Popnecker! Herbie is a magnificent little guy, and Alan Moore has said that Herbie is his favorite superhero.
The cover of a comic book. It says it's Forbidden Worlds 4, but it's a British Reprint of Forbidden Worlds 73, from American Comics Group, published in 1958. The cover features a fella in WWII pilot clothes who has scrambled up the mast of a ship. He is being chased by a pirate (in full regalia, eyepatch, bandanna and all) waving a lit torch. There's a caption box that reads: "Can a man crash through the barrier of TIME itself? See it happen, in... The RIDDLE of ROBERT O'MALLEY!" The guy in the mast, presumably Robert O'Malley himself, has a word balloon coming from his mouth. It reads: "This-- CAN'T be! Shot down by J*p Zeros-- and now trapped aboard an ANCIENT PIRATE SHIP!" The first page of the first Herbie story. Because it's the British edition, it's in black and white instead of color. There are three panels. The first one takes up the top third of the page, and it features a shlubby little boy with a bowl cut, wearing a button-down white shirt and a short tie, and what looks like jeans or khakis with a belt. He walks calmly toward the viewer, eating a lollipop. He is surrounded by exciting things! A rocket launches at him. A Native American in full headdress waves a tomahawk at him. An explosion explodes in the background. An elephant charges at him. Two dueling dandies fence behind him. A plane crashes! A cowboy with a smoking gun rides a horse at him! A pirate waves a cutlass and leers! Second panel, takes up half of the bottom third of the page. A man in a suit stands before a group of people. Caption reads: It was a PTA meeting, and the speaker's subject was an important one-- The guy has a word balloon. It reads: "Yes, I repeat-- the boys of today are the leaders of tomorrow!" Third panel, taking up the last bit. Closeup on the fellow, as he points directly at the viewer. He is holding a glass of water and he looks kind of like a baffled Salvador Dali. Word balloon: "You must see, therefore, that what we need in this country are REAL boys-- boys of ACTION! Boys who are always out DOING things! George Washington, father of his country, was such a boy-- so was Abraham Lincoln!"
January 24, 2025 at 7:57 PM
keef.org
Look at this goddamn little scramp
Our cat Weasel. She is various shades of orange, with darker orange tiger stripes. She is laying in a sort of half-turn, exposing her tum, eyes mostly closed, her tail jutting off at a jaunty angle. She is laying on top of a quilt that is itself on top of a blanket. There are other, unseen blankets, because it is very cold. She is: a good kitty.
January 22, 2025 at 10:37 AM
keef.org
Oh my god look at this adorable perfect little piece of shit
A perfectly beautiful bright orange cat, laying mostly upside-down atop a circular cat scratcher- ball roller thingy, batting away at the white ball that rolls around the outside. The entire thing is on top of a reddish-orange rug. The cat is wonderful. I love her.
January 18, 2025 at 11:16 PM
keef.org
Despite all of this, it turns out that my car is fundamentally broken. I understand one of the solutions to this problem is "currency," with which I am generally unfamiliar and am investigating attainability methodology.
keef.org Keef @keef.org · Dec 31
I drove my car about a block and then it made the same horrible noise, and then threw the same error code, but for a different cylinder. I guess I will have a chance to repeat my magnificent feats tomorrow.
January 18, 2025 at 9:54 PM
Reposted by Keef
fartsjohnson.bsky.social
Eraserhead baby wrapped in a Subway sandwich wrapper.
January 17, 2025 at 1:54 PM
keef.org
When I was 14, I went to the local weird-ass video store and rented bootleg VHS tapes of the Twin Peaks international pilot, the extended cut of Peter Jackson's "Dead Alive," and Jodorowsky's "Holy Mountain." I had the house to myself and watched the best triple feature ever.
January 17, 2025 at 5:51 AM
Reposted by Keef
culturecrave.co
Kyle MacLachlan pays tribute to David Lynch

"I will miss him more than the limits of my language can tell and my heart can bear. My world is that much fuller because I knew him and that much emptier now that he’s gone ... Thank you for everything"
January 16, 2025 at 9:29 PM