Keef
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keef.org
Keef
@keef.org
930 followers 370 following 1.5K posts
Horror / fairy tale writer, dipshit, he/him. The wolf inside me is the Baba Yaga. Stories in Coffin Bell, X-Ray, Five on the Fifth, &c.
Links to writing at horriblelittlefables.com & weird sound collage podcast at uhid.net
Avatar by James Kochalka.
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keef.org
NEW SHORTS WHO DIS
This is a picture of me, poolside, wearing my first pair of bodybuilding shorts (given to me by A Friend). The shorts are leopard-spotted, and come up to cover my navel. My arms are raised and I’m flexing my biceps, like a real tough guy. It turns out that bodybuilding shorts do a great job at concealing one’s gut.
October 2, 2025 at 1:52 PM
keef.org
CALL ME ISHMAEL
An orange cat lying on a bed, mouth caught mid-yawn, teeth bared but somehow still adorable.
August 31, 2025 at 5:36 PM
keef.org
Practicing my “rizzed-up selfies” as an almost fifty year old man. Maybe I’ll get the hang of it in another decade or so.
A “rizzed-up selfie” of yours truly. Beard a little too skraggly. Glasses a little too low. One eyebrow cocked a little too confidently. Smirk not quite smiley enough. Tugging down the collar of my black t-shirt in an unearned gesture of lackluster machismo. Fuck it, I’m still cute
August 31, 2025 at 7:04 AM
keef.org
It's been a hell of a year, but a crowd of people gathering to listen to other people make music is always satisfying.
This time it's the band Explosions in the Sky on the stage, surrounded by fog, with lights flashing all around. Four dudes with guitars and a drummer. Wild.
April 26, 2025 at 4:32 AM
keef.org
Live music is such a balm for the soul.
Godspeed You! black Emperror on the stage at Austin Psych Fest. I was close enough to feel the rumble of the stacks, which is a lot of the point.
April 26, 2025 at 2:51 AM
keef.org
Well now. This is probably pretty overdue.
The ceiling of a room. The room is darkened. Shining on the ceiling is a pall of blue light, with a field of green "stars." Also visible on the ceiling: a vent; an emergency fire alarm light; several unlit can lights; another, smaller vent; a CCTV camera.
March 27, 2025 at 7:10 PM
keef.org
Now they know how I feel, at least.
The chat support window for Spotify. Transcript: I'm good, thanks for asking. [Spotify Agent] at 12:21 PM, Feb 18 Can you please elaborate your concern? [Spotify Agent] at 12:21 PM, Feb 18 Well, Joe Rogan is an idiot with an enormous platform that is actively harming both our country and the world at large. It drives me nuts that part of the money I pay to Spotify goes to that goon. I would like to request that none of my subscription money goes to him or his ghoulish podcast. You at 12:22 PM, Feb 18 Follow up Spotify Support chat. Transcript: ... your feedback to the right team, so that they will look into it. We'll make sure to pass your feedback along [Spotify Agent] at 12:34 PM, Feb 18 Thank you! Just register my dissatisfaction that Spotify pays that doofus a ridiculous amount of money to blather his misinformation to ridiculous amounts of people. You at 12:35 PM, Feb 18 Please don't worry, I have taken your concern as a feedback and let the right team know, so that they will look into it. [Spotify Agent] at 12:37 PM, Feb 18
February 18, 2025 at 6:45 PM
keef.org
Hey, neat! It's Amazing Spider-Man 5, from 1963! It's the first time Spidey and Dr. Doom interacted! This was hiding in the corner of a lot I won for a truly cute amount on the internets. Probably the best score I will ever find.
The Amazing Spider-Man number 5! Spidey swings his way across the cover, but Doom has severed his web! He's about to land in some... lava or something! CAPTION: "It had to happen! Sooner or later, SPIDER-MAN was bound to battle DOCTOR DOOM!" Dr. Doom's word balloon: "This is your FINISH, Spider-Man! If the FANTASTIC FOUR couldn't stop me, what chance have YOU?" Art by Steve Ditko.
February 13, 2025 at 5:32 PM
keef.org
Here is another picture of my cat, Weasel, to help your timeline be not all doomscrolling horrors
Weasel, sleeping atop a brown-and-white quilt. She looks a bit like a bright orange stripey cinnamon bun. Her eyes are closed in contentment. If this picture had audio, you could hear her snoring a little bit.
February 5, 2025 at 12:43 AM
keef.org
Hey, neat! It's the rare British edition of Forbidden Worlds 73, the first appearance of Herbie Popnecker! Herbie is a magnificent little guy, and Alan Moore has said that Herbie is his favorite superhero.
The cover of a comic book. It says it's Forbidden Worlds 4, but it's a British Reprint of Forbidden Worlds 73, from American Comics Group, published in 1958. The cover features a fella in WWII pilot clothes who has scrambled up the mast of a ship. He is being chased by a pirate (in full regalia, eyepatch, bandanna and all) waving a lit torch. There's a caption box that reads: "Can a man crash through the barrier of TIME itself? See it happen, in... The RIDDLE of ROBERT O'MALLEY!" The guy in the mast, presumably Robert O'Malley himself, has a word balloon coming from his mouth. It reads: "This-- CAN'T be! Shot down by J*p Zeros-- and now trapped aboard an ANCIENT PIRATE SHIP!" The first page of the first Herbie story. Because it's the British edition, it's in black and white instead of color. There are three panels. The first one takes up the top third of the page, and it features a shlubby little boy with a bowl cut, wearing a button-down white shirt and a short tie, and what looks like jeans or khakis with a belt. He walks calmly toward the viewer, eating a lollipop. He is surrounded by exciting things! A rocket launches at him. A Native American in full headdress waves a tomahawk at him. An explosion explodes in the background. An elephant charges at him. Two dueling dandies fence behind him. A plane crashes! A cowboy with a smoking gun rides a horse at him! A pirate waves a cutlass and leers! Second panel, takes up half of the bottom third of the page. A man in a suit stands before a group of people. Caption reads: It was a PTA meeting, and the speaker's subject was an important one-- The guy has a word balloon. It reads: "Yes, I repeat-- the boys of today are the leaders of tomorrow!" Third panel, taking up the last bit. Closeup on the fellow, as he points directly at the viewer. He is holding a glass of water and he looks kind of like a baffled Salvador Dali. Word balloon: "You must see, therefore, that what we need in this country are REAL boys-- boys of ACTION! Boys who are always out DOING things! George Washington, father of his country, was such a boy-- so was Abraham Lincoln!"
January 24, 2025 at 7:57 PM
keef.org
Look at this goddamn little scramp
Our cat Weasel. She is various shades of orange, with darker orange tiger stripes. She is laying in a sort of half-turn, exposing her tum, eyes mostly closed, her tail jutting off at a jaunty angle. She is laying on top of a quilt that is itself on top of a blanket. There are other, unseen blankets, because it is very cold. She is: a good kitty.
January 22, 2025 at 10:37 AM
keef.org
Oh my god look at this adorable perfect little piece of shit
A perfectly beautiful bright orange cat, laying mostly upside-down atop a circular cat scratcher- ball roller thingy, batting away at the white ball that rolls around the outside. The entire thing is on top of a reddish-orange rug. The cat is wonderful. I love her.
January 18, 2025 at 11:16 PM
keef.org
The kid found a recipe that looked good, and here is the result. We made brioche dough yesterday, then today greased up a Bundt pan and rolled the dough around chunks of chocolate and put it in monkeybread-style; baked it up and created a tasty treat.
A beautifully browned ring of baked-up monkeybread-style brioche bread wrapped around chunks of chocolate. It looks much better than I thought it would.
January 8, 2025 at 1:22 AM
keef.org
The cat continues to keep me awake past my bedtime simply by being beautiful
The cat, once again laying on my purple-and-cream quilt. She gazes nicely into the lens. She is purring. I should be sleeping. I should be sleeping, but there she is purring and being pretty.
January 7, 2025 at 6:28 AM
keef.org
gaaaaah ok I swear I am going to sleep now
This frickin CAT is now rolled over halfway, one paw thrown over her head, the other bent in this super-cute way, exposing her belly, her back legs sort of curled / tucked / splayed, tail curled back up over her feet. She is so goddamned cute I can't stand it.
January 5, 2025 at 8:19 AM
keef.org
I should be sleeping but NOOOOOO I can't stop looking at this dang cat
The CAT is sleeping. Or close to it, except putting. This is a closeup of the cat, one paw curled under, both eyes closed, whiskers jutting up at a jaunty angle. Nose just as pink as can be. This cat is very content. I am pleased that she is settling in so readily.
January 5, 2025 at 8:07 AM
keef.org
This cat is... pretty great
The cat, all curled up like a cinnamon bun on my bed (a quilt that is white and several different shades of purple). Her eyes are mostly closed and she looks very content. She is very tiger-y, all orange tones with darker orange stripes. She is still learning that hands are not toys, but she'll get there.
January 5, 2025 at 7:57 AM
keef.org
NEW YEAR NEW CAT
A cat, rolling around on my rug, biting a catnip toy. She is beautiful, all orange and cream. Her meow is croaky and kind of snarly. She's a bit skittish, but this is day one. We don't have a good name for her yet. Quack? Bagel? Peaches?
January 5, 2025 at 4:07 AM
keef.org
Shortly after Christmas I had the opportunity to visit one of my favorite record shops in the Midwest. It is a vast treasure trove of unimaginable junk, cascading through dozens of rooms; there are also comics and books. It was fun.
Me, wearing a Canadian tuxedo, in a small room. Behind me is a plethora of ancient audio equipment. To my right are many shelves co raining 10" records and weird paperback originals. I am going through long boxes full of unbagged comics, and I am holding one up and making a very goofy face.
January 4, 2025 at 7:22 AM
keef.org
Figured now was as good a time as any to bust out a fancy beer from my fancy beer dumpster. Happy new year errbody!
It's a bottle of Goose Island 2015 Bourbon County Rare Stout, in front of the fancy wooden box it came in
January 1, 2025 at 5:59 AM
keef.org
Midwestern Sepulchral
A photograph taken through the drivers' side window, somewhere in the Midwest. It is that sort of sad abandoned photo that can only be taken in the Midwest: skeletal trees strain for light; the ground is brown and bleak and multitiered; behind all of this, the sky is a gradient, lightening as it gets closer to the horizon, a panoply of dull blues and grays and whites.
December 23, 2024 at 9:14 PM
keef.org
You KNOW I gotta rep with pride
A ridiculous photo. I am grinning like a dope, wearing a black velvet Stetson and a gray t-shirt. The t-shirt has a red oval in it. On the oval in white lettering is the logo for the Kum & Go. My glasses are too far down on my nose. Oh well.
December 20, 2024 at 2:45 AM
keef.org
This is from my flash "A Spectre Lurks at the Putt-Putt on Riverside," published by the magnificent @xraylitmag.bsky.social
"Wow," said Todd. "You feel that?" "Yeah," I said. The icy feeling slid up the back of my calves and circled up and around my inner thighs, settling in the middle of my torso. "I should've brought my hoodie." "Look," he said, and pointed. The ghost hovered on the brick pathway between Todd and the eighth hole. It was wearing a polo and khakis, which faded and became transparent above what probably would've been a pair of Sperrys. It had a dad-bod paunch, a pancake ass, and no head. Its clothes and skin were the dirty white of the moon in an old mirror. "Jeez, gross," I said.
December 20, 2024 at 1:11 AM
keef.org
They still do.
A big white airplane with "PRIME AIR" written on the side. As in Amazon Prime.
December 12, 2024 at 5:06 PM
keef.org
Ayyyyy! I'm bein concerned with general ideas over here!
A screenshot from Midnight Cowboy. Jon Voight stands like a doofus, slimeball Dustin Hoffman slaps the hood of a yellow cab.
December 12, 2024 at 4:22 PM