juliantheonion.bsky.social
@juliantheonion.bsky.social
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SHABOOZEY: “Immigrants built this country.”
February 2, 2026 at 12:41 AM
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This really isn’t a hard message.

Obama neutralized the Iran nuclear program through the hard work of diplomacy, but Trump tore up the deal in his first term out of spite and chose war instead.
All I want to hear out of Democrats is that we had a deal and no bomb. Then Trump tore it up and he is now putting American lives in danger.

That’s it.
June 22, 2025 at 1:57 PM
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Netanyahu wants war. But there had been no change in Iran’s position- or in their building of nukes. No urgent reason to involve US. Trump used a massive bomb - “Ordnance Penetrator (MOP)’ for the first time in US combat history. Trump naively posted “ completed”

We have no idea what has begun
June 22, 2025 at 2:43 PM
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Donald Trump just unilaterally bombed Iran. A masked gang is terrorizing our streets. America has rapidly devolved into an authoritarian state.

That's why, today, The Onion has purchased a full page ad in today's New York Times with a simple plea to Congress:

Sit back and do absolutely nothing.
June 22, 2025 at 2:36 PM
Shoutout to @nashseverewx.com for keeping us informed and safe during these never ending #tornadoWatch / #SevereStorm warnings. Y’all are the best 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
April 3, 2025 at 8:55 AM
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March 12, 2025 at 3:07 AM
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I miss John Lewis.

I even miss John McCain.

Fighters on opposing sides.

...but both lions who would crawl through a mile of broken glass to defend our nation against fascism.
March 5, 2025 at 5:03 PM
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They're using fear to bully you into compliance.

Fear of losing your job, your savings, your Medicare/medicaid, your rights, your freedom.

They're using fear to bully our allies, to break our alliances and promises.

What do they have to fear?

Nothing so far.

That needs to change.
February 18, 2025 at 12:27 AM
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You get what you vote for.
February 18, 2025 at 2:41 AM
It’s a great day when you realize your favorite weather folks made it to #BlueSky #Nashville #NashSeverewx bsky.app/profile/nash...
a close up of a person with the words i 'm glad you 're with me
ALT: a close up of a person with the words i 'm glad you 're with me
media.tenor.com
February 16, 2025 at 5:12 AM
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Kendrick Lamar has 22 Grammies and a damn Pulitzer if you don’t know who he is that’s a You problem
February 10, 2025 at 5:17 AM
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Kendrick turned a diss track into a Grammy and a Superbowl halftime show it is literally impossible to top that might as well tear down mt Rushmore and put up 4 Kendricks
February 10, 2025 at 1:43 AM
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Kendrick certainly just made all the worst people in this country mad, so that’s some nice icing on the cake
February 10, 2025 at 1:49 AM
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Still not over Uncle Sam mocking the critique of Black music and culture as uncivilized and ghetto and then doubling down by saying America appreciates calm and peace, the exact moment Kendrick turned the whole thing around.

And with the white supremacist in chief in attendance? Masterful.
Forty acres and a mule, a Black Uncle Sam, and a declaration that folks be humble all draped in red white and blue?

Goddamn.
Kendrick’s American flag motif at THIS MOMENT is subversive. Yes, yes, yes.
February 10, 2025 at 4:13 AM
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More of this, America.
February 9, 2025 at 8:34 PM
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February 6, 2025 at 8:36 PM
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February 5, 2025 at 11:40 PM
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February 4, 2025 at 10:19 AM
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The universe speaks in mysterious ways.
February 2, 2025 at 12:21 AM
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The USA has had two major plane crashes in the last 4 days.

The USA had previously not suffered a major plane crash for 16 years.

‘DEI’ programs have existed for decades.

So what was it that changed in the last 14 days or so to suddenly cause so many crashes?
February 1, 2025 at 5:21 PM
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They think this is a joke. It’s really really not. https://buff.ly/4hwGjuI
January 30, 2025 at 10:30 PM
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Trump knows it was his freezing of funding for flight traffic controllers that killed 67 people — not Obama & Biden.

He’s a fetid piece of worthless garbage that should’ve been thrown away decades ago.
January 31, 2025 at 12:13 AM
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Most of us look at the rise of Hitler and are stunned by the suffering and cruelty.

Trump and the oligarchs look at the rise of Hitler and see a playbook to absolute power, suffering and cruelty being the means to achieve it.
January 28, 2025 at 5:35 PM
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Because they were taking your jobs…
January 27, 2025 at 11:44 PM
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If you're feeling overwhelmed, it's intentional. They're calling it "flooding the zone." The intent is to overwhelm and exhaust us so we can not effectively resist. Something simple you can do right now now is to make sure to take breaks and rest.
January 27, 2025 at 1:53 AM