Jonathan Eells
@jonathaneells.bsky.social
Lives aboard ⛵️ Beach adjacent 🏖️Island proximal 🏝️ Father of 🌈🌈🌈 Ventura, CA 🏄
Pinned
Didja know that throughout its history the Roman Praetorian Guard killed 13 emperors? They were really icky, slimy, awful, evil emperors. Lots of stabby-stabby. Just thought you should know.
January 11, 2026 at 12:03 AM
Didja know that throughout its history the Roman Praetorian Guard killed 13 emperors? They were really icky, slimy, awful, evil emperors. Lots of stabby-stabby. Just thought you should know.
Reposted by Jonathan Eells
Imagine a member of the secret service was just like "Aye fuck it, I'll go down in history".
January 8, 2026 at 8:01 PM
Imagine a member of the secret service was just like "Aye fuck it, I'll go down in history".
Reposted by Jonathan Eells
We need to be done allowing Republicans to participate in normal modern society.
January 9, 2026 at 7:52 PM
We need to be done allowing Republicans to participate in normal modern society.
Reposted by Jonathan Eells
Due to recent negative press, the House voted to revive Obamacare funds until they can figure out a way to raise your costs quietly.
January 8, 2026 at 10:29 PM
Due to recent negative press, the House voted to revive Obamacare funds until they can figure out a way to raise your costs quietly.
I feel like it’s important for every member of ICE to be reminded that the Mossad is still hunting the 1933-1945 Nazis.
January 8, 2026 at 9:40 PM
I feel like it’s important for every member of ICE to be reminded that the Mossad is still hunting the 1933-1945 Nazis.
Reposted by Jonathan Eells
whichever candidate runs on prosecuting every single ice agent fuck to the fullest extent of the law has my vote
January 7, 2026 at 5:43 PM
whichever candidate runs on prosecuting every single ice agent fuck to the fullest extent of the law has my vote
Reposted by Jonathan Eells
“What do we call it when a stronger person decides to rob a weaker person because he can? It is just gangsterism. We are the most dangerous gangsters in the world today. Not in the sense of being charming rogues or alluring antiheroes. We are the bad guys.”
We Are the Bad Guys
The swaggering threat to global stability is us.
www.hamiltonnolan.com
January 5, 2026 at 4:26 PM
“What do we call it when a stronger person decides to rob a weaker person because he can? It is just gangsterism. We are the most dangerous gangsters in the world today. Not in the sense of being charming rogues or alluring antiheroes. We are the bad guys.”
Reposted by Jonathan Eells
If we can capture another country's president, can another country come and capture ours? Asking for a friend.
January 3, 2026 at 6:41 PM
If we can capture another country's president, can another country come and capture ours? Asking for a friend.
Reposted by Jonathan Eells
The only way to kick trump out of office is to win the midterms election massively else we are doomed. Because of Trump we’re now a lawless nation! It must not continue.
January 3, 2026 at 6:40 PM
The only way to kick trump out of office is to win the midterms election massively else we are doomed. Because of Trump we’re now a lawless nation! It must not continue.
Reposted by Jonathan Eells
Reposted by Jonathan Eells
Such a pretty place! Who should visit there soon?
January 3, 2026 at 6:37 PM
Such a pretty place! Who should visit there soon?
Reposted by Jonathan Eells
please be critical of even your favorite politicians. democracy can only function if we are constantly demanding better.
January 2, 2026 at 3:27 AM
please be critical of even your favorite politicians. democracy can only function if we are constantly demanding better.
Reposted by Jonathan Eells
Bragging that you just passed your 3rd dementia test
is a great way of telling us
they've made you take 3 dementia tests
is a great way of telling us
they've made you take 3 dementia tests
January 2, 2026 at 9:12 PM
Bragging that you just passed your 3rd dementia test
is a great way of telling us
they've made you take 3 dementia tests
is a great way of telling us
they've made you take 3 dementia tests
Reposted by Jonathan Eells
Reposted by Jonathan Eells
Listen to how your enemy talks about you, and then believe them.
Putin called Europeans today “podsvinky.”
For those who prefer a precise translation: podsvinki are young pigs, 4–10 months old, usually raised for meat.
For those who prefer a precise translation: podsvinki are young pigs, 4–10 months old, usually raised for meat.
December 30, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Listen to how your enemy talks about you, and then believe them.
Reposted by Jonathan Eells
Can somebody please just leak the Epstein files in their entirety already?
November 30, 2025 at 10:31 PM
Can somebody please just leak the Epstein files in their entirety already?
Reposted by Jonathan Eells
Never forget that the only country in NATO history which triggered NATO article 5 is USA after a bunch of Arab terrorists took down some buildings in New York.
Now when Europe is in existential threat by former Soviets, the USA is throwing us bones and expecting gratitude.
EU need to step up.
Now when Europe is in existential threat by former Soviets, the USA is throwing us bones and expecting gratitude.
EU need to step up.
November 11, 2025 at 12:36 AM
Never forget that the only country in NATO history which triggered NATO article 5 is USA after a bunch of Arab terrorists took down some buildings in New York.
Now when Europe is in existential threat by former Soviets, the USA is throwing us bones and expecting gratitude.
EU need to step up.
Now when Europe is in existential threat by former Soviets, the USA is throwing us bones and expecting gratitude.
EU need to step up.
It occurs to me that one tiny sliver of a silver lining to our current situation is that all the warning labels do seem to be coming off of things, like we’ve been asking for all these years, and the right people are screwing up. That’s something.
November 9, 2025 at 8:44 PM
It occurs to me that one tiny sliver of a silver lining to our current situation is that all the warning labels do seem to be coming off of things, like we’ve been asking for all these years, and the right people are screwing up. That’s something.
Reposted by Jonathan Eells
If sandwich shops don’t start offering a sandwich named “the acquittal” then what are we even doing
November 6, 2025 at 9:27 PM
If sandwich shops don’t start offering a sandwich named “the acquittal” then what are we even doing
Reposted by Jonathan Eells
Reposted by Jonathan Eells
Reposted by Jonathan Eells
We have a President who has taken every failed economic policy idea of the past 100 years, weaponized it and is calling it a success. We know what works and what doesn't. Lower tariffs create jobs, taxing the rich sends us to the Moon and back. We know how to grow a strong middle class in America.
November 6, 2025 at 2:40 AM
We have a President who has taken every failed economic policy idea of the past 100 years, weaponized it and is calling it a success. We know what works and what doesn't. Lower tariffs create jobs, taxing the rich sends us to the Moon and back. We know how to grow a strong middle class in America.
Reposted by Jonathan Eells
My best friend told me: "I had heard Mamdani was a Socialist. Then I listened to him in an interview. That's when I realized, 'Damn, I'm a Socialist, too'. Who knew?"
November 5, 2025 at 2:48 AM
My best friend told me: "I had heard Mamdani was a Socialist. Then I listened to him in an interview. That's when I realized, 'Damn, I'm a Socialist, too'. Who knew?"