Women love me. Fish love me. I do my best to care for all creatures and even when I fail they see my efforts

Not sure what possessed me to make this

before i got banned from this online poker site i used to tell people i was driving the whole time i was playing and they always lost their shit

I don’t mean to alarm anyone, but my hands are made of potatoes and they’re real fuckin delicious.

Having a sides-only Thanksgiving this year. No turkey, just carbs and gravy. Modern problems require modern solutions.

The perfect amount of beers=
(# of beers you’ve already had +1)

I want so badly to enjoy mobile games but the ecosystem they occupy apparently forces them into being annoying to play unless you are constantly purchasing magical coins at bizarre denominations that I refuse to understand.

as a gamer ive eliminated thousands of moo deng like creatures for their various parts . Ive completed countless quests using their pain