Coyote in an ALDI
@jawn-a-meer.bsky.social
Actor. Comedian. Headline Contributor at The Onion. Senior Editor at thesportsriot.com. Everyone's third favorite.
Pinned
apparently to my friends, saying you are one year “heroin-free” is not impressive or noteworthy if you were never hooked on it and would not even know where to acquire it
Reposted by Coyote in an ALDI
Who are the 22% of people submitting comments at zoning board meetings who have no opinion on the matter whatsoever?
December 11, 2025 at 10:50 PM
Who are the 22% of people submitting comments at zoning board meetings who have no opinion on the matter whatsoever?
my most single-bachelor-man take is that clothing marked "handwash only" should be rebranded as "single use"
December 11, 2025 at 4:31 PM
my most single-bachelor-man take is that clothing marked "handwash only" should be rebranded as "single use"
everything about the FIFA prize sucks of course, but in more hopeful news, there is almost definitely a "constantly wasted former frat bro" contingent of Trump's base that barely follows politics for which Trump praising soccer is their personal dealbreaker
December 6, 2025 at 3:09 AM
everything about the FIFA prize sucks of course, but in more hopeful news, there is almost definitely a "constantly wasted former frat bro" contingent of Trump's base that barely follows politics for which Trump praising soccer is their personal dealbreaker
looking forward to the final Stranger Things episode, where it is revealed that the cruel, world-conquering mastermind behind Vecna this whole time was Dobby
Netflix to buy Warner Bros Discovery's studios, streaming unit for $72 billion
Netflix on Friday agreed to buy Warner Bros Discovery's TV, film studios and streaming division for $72 billion, a deal that would hand control of one of Hollywood's most prized and oldest assets to t...
www.reuters.com
December 5, 2025 at 3:52 PM
looking forward to the final Stranger Things episode, where it is revealed that the cruel, world-conquering mastermind behind Vecna this whole time was Dobby
my Tidal Wrapped is 100% Jay-Z songs but i don't even have an account with them? help??
December 4, 2025 at 11:00 PM
my Tidal Wrapped is 100% Jay-Z songs but i don't even have an account with them? help??
Stranger Things casting is perfect actually though b/c thanks to everyone smoking indoors those 30-yr-olds are what 80s kids actually looked like
December 4, 2025 at 10:58 PM
Stranger Things casting is perfect actually though b/c thanks to everyone smoking indoors those 30-yr-olds are what 80s kids actually looked like
i know we all want to hate on the FBI for wasting our money but let’s be honest the majority of our own overtime hours are also spent on mundane repetitive tasks done for the sake of covering our boss’s ass
December 3, 2025 at 3:15 AM
i know we all want to hate on the FBI for wasting our money but let’s be honest the majority of our own overtime hours are also spent on mundane repetitive tasks done for the sake of covering our boss’s ass
Reposted by Coyote in an ALDI
coming up with the little Mucinex guy
December 2, 2025 at 3:16 PM
coming up with the little Mucinex guy
man, he’s in his head. he should really do something to permanently alter his mind maybe involving South America
Aaron Rodgers under pressure, last 3 games:
BUF: 0/4 for 0 yds
CIN: 1/3 for 5 yds
LAC: 0/5 for 0 yds
BUF: 0/4 for 0 yds
CIN: 1/3 for 5 yds
LAC: 0/5 for 0 yds
December 1, 2025 at 5:23 AM
man, he’s in his head. he should really do something to permanently alter his mind maybe involving South America
Reposted by Coyote in an ALDI
Tim Hortons reminds Campbell’s customers that they also make bad soup for poor slobs
Tim Hortons reminds Campbell's customers that they also make bad soup for poor slobs
TORONTO - Following the news that a top Campbell’s executive was fired after being caught on microphone calling the company’s soups “shit for poor people”, Tim Hortons have released a statement remind...
www.thebeaverton.com
November 27, 2025 at 6:18 PM
Tim Hortons reminds Campbell’s customers that they also make bad soup for poor slobs
well fuck he's lost gen z
haven’t seen ROS or Solo but this seems like a pretty ball-knowing list from Pritzker, particularly if he volunteered the name “Star Wars” rather than “A New Hope”
November 24, 2025 at 7:40 PM
well fuck he's lost gen z
Reposted by Coyote in an ALDI
It's not a foolproof plan but every political debate from now on should be a Normal Guy competition. Ask them to describe grocery shopping in detail. Talk about what it's like to have a friend
November 19, 2025 at 2:13 AM
It's not a foolproof plan but every political debate from now on should be a Normal Guy competition. Ask them to describe grocery shopping in detail. Talk about what it's like to have a friend
youtube has changed all my targeted ads to 100% Mandarin-language fast food commercials. i have no idea why this happened, but i am not complaining. thank u McDonalds the 麦乐鸡套餐 looks delicious
November 18, 2025 at 4:52 AM
youtube has changed all my targeted ads to 100% Mandarin-language fast food commercials. i have no idea why this happened, but i am not complaining. thank u McDonalds the 麦乐鸡套餐 looks delicious
offering a contract to my clients & telling them to "put your Benjamin Franklin on it" (sign normally and not with huge letters)
November 18, 2025 at 12:48 AM
offering a contract to my clients & telling them to "put your Benjamin Franklin on it" (sign normally and not with huge letters)
considering that until mere moments ago i was not aware real pokemon existed in the universe, i feel like i am going to be surprised by many more than just #7?
November 16, 2025 at 7:45 PM
considering that until mere moments ago i was not aware real pokemon existed in the universe, i feel like i am going to be surprised by many more than just #7?
Reposted by Coyote in an ALDI
breaking up with my true love on the 13th day of Christmas because their place has a really weird bird smell
November 15, 2025 at 9:47 PM
breaking up with my true love on the 13th day of Christmas because their place has a really weird bird smell
HONORED✨ to be one of approximately 7 people paying attention to this Panthers-Lightning game
November 15, 2025 at 10:20 PM
HONORED✨ to be one of approximately 7 people paying attention to this Panthers-Lightning game
James Buchanan may have been our first gay president, but was he, i ask you, the first president to have blown another president? #milestones
November 14, 2025 at 11:14 PM
James Buchanan may have been our first gay president, but was he, i ask you, the first president to have blown another president? #milestones
considering how much he's appearing in Epstein's emails, at this point, Peter Thiel is probably on his knees thanking God Gawker outed him as gay
November 14, 2025 at 3:17 PM
considering how much he's appearing in Epstein's emails, at this point, Peter Thiel is probably on his knees thanking God Gawker outed him as gay
just realized i haven't heard any christmas music yet. not in stores, not in commercials, not out on the street... where's my goddamn holiday cheer you lifeless nutsacks
November 8, 2025 at 2:24 AM
just realized i haven't heard any christmas music yet. not in stores, not in commercials, not out on the street... where's my goddamn holiday cheer you lifeless nutsacks
Reposted by Coyote in an ALDI
according to this graph the 3 outcomes for AI are becoming a WALL-E person, 0.2% economic growth, and getting your skull stomped by a Terminator
November 7, 2025 at 3:38 PM
according to this graph the 3 outcomes for AI are becoming a WALL-E person, 0.2% economic growth, and getting your skull stomped by a Terminator
truly disappointing to know his slogan was 'For A New York You Can Afford' when 'Whamdani Bamdani Thank You Mamdani' was right there
November 5, 2025 at 1:49 AM
truly disappointing to know his slogan was 'For A New York You Can Afford' when 'Whamdani Bamdani Thank You Mamdani' was right there
Reposted by Coyote in an ALDI
sorry but mamdani and cuomo should have worn blue and yellow hats, respectively
November 5, 2025 at 12:24 AM
sorry but mamdani and cuomo should have worn blue and yellow hats, respectively
the worst people in the world are Streisand-Effecting this woman on a fast track to the national stage & I am here for it
I'll be on MSNBC's @chrislhayes.bsky.social momentarily!
October 31, 2025 at 6:54 AM
the worst people in the world are Streisand-Effecting this woman on a fast track to the national stage & I am here for it