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jadenthediamond.bsky.social
jaden :3
@jadenthediamond.bsky.social
“This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic.” Terry Pratchett

Pronouns: he/they
Reposted by jaden :3
Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles https://theonion.com/trump-still-polling-well-with-working-class-american-pedophiles/
November 12, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Reposted by jaden :3
Researchers Train Mice To Choose Between Life-Saving Medications And Other Essentials theonion.com/researc...
July 2, 2025 at 2:00 PM
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Netanyahu Calls Iran Strikes Necessary To Prevent War He Just Started
June 13, 2025 at 5:50 PM
Reposted by jaden :3
Kommt einer in eine Bibliothek.
„Haben Sie auch Bücher über Pawlows Hund und Schrödingers Katze?“
„Da klingelt was. Aber ich weiß nicht, ob die da sind, oder nicht.“

Der ist so schön nerdisch-bescheuert, ich musste einfach…
Ja, schon gut, ich geh ja schon arbeiten.
May 19, 2025 at 11:29 AM
Reposted by jaden :3
Reposted by jaden :3
Prudish Woman On First Date Declines To Bear Man’s Children
theonion.com/prudish...
May 7, 2025 at 9:00 PM
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Returning Jesus Christ Downed By U.S. Missile Defense 30,000 Feet Before Making Landfall
April 20, 2025 at 2:00 PM
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God Placed Into Deity Protection Program After Witnessing Murder
God Placed Into Deity Protection Program After Witnessing Murder
ARLINGTON, VA—In an effort to ensure the continued safety of the almighty being, the U.S. Marshals Service confirmed Monday that God, He Who Created the Heavens and the Earth, has been placed into the...
theonion.com
April 16, 2025 at 3:03 PM
Reposted by jaden :3
Little gentle reminder to all the human creatives out there 💪
April 9, 2025 at 8:08 PM
Reposted by jaden :3
1. Major victory in Montana.

17 Republicans crossed party lines after a strong speech from Representative Howell to defeat a bill that would have charged parents, even those passing through the state, with felony child endangerment for their trans youth.

Subscribe to support my journalism.
17 Montana Republicans Cross Party Lines, Defeat Anti-Trans Bill After Nonbinary Rep's Speech
Representative Howell delivered a speech against SB164, a bill that would charge parents with child abuse for providing gender affirming care even if they were merely driving through the state.
www.erininthemorning.com
April 8, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Reposted by jaden :3
“Let me be clear: This man, who attempted to park on the street and damaged the rear bumper of a Model 3, is a domestic terrorist who deserves to die,” said Pam Bondi
theonion.com/man-who...
Man Who Bumped Tesla While Parallel Parking Sentenced To Death
WASHINGTON—Warning that even the slightest dent, knick, or scratch would henceforth be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, Attorney General Pam Bondi announced Tuesday that Raymond Pratt, a 54-year-old resident of Chula Vista, CA who bumped a Tesla while parallel parking, had been sentenced to death. “Let me be clear: This man, who attempted to park […]
theonion.com
April 9, 2025 at 12:15 AM
Reposted by jaden :3
Oh I forgot this shirt is real adamtots.dashery.com
April 6, 2025 at 11:12 PM
Reposted by jaden :3
⚡️Ukrainian diaspora groups urge NHL to reject games with Russian league.

“To organize any such events in partnership with Russian government or sporting officials would be to ignore, and thereby to implicitly endorse, Vladimir Putin’s crimes,” the signatories write.
Ukrainian diaspora groups urge NHL to reject games with Russian league
"To organize any such events in partnership with Russian government or sporting officials would be to ignore, and thereby to implicitly endorse, Vladimir Putin’s crimes," the signatories write.
kyivindependent.com
April 9, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Reposted by jaden :3
Oh WOW this is like discovering Long Long Man.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=6-1U...
Long Long Man
YouTube video by Orbitalsquid
m.youtube.com
April 7, 2025 at 8:23 PM
Reposted by jaden :3
The penguins react to tariffs
April 3, 2025 at 7:41 PM
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Florida Passes Strict Ban On Being Unarmed
theonion.com/florida...
March 30, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Reposted by jaden :3
Gang Initiate Forced To Peacefully Deescalate Conflict To Prove He Not A Cop
theonion.com/gang-in...
March 27, 2025 at 8:00 PM