Michael
@ilostalim.bsky.social
Reposted by Michael
Fact-Checking Trump On Crime theonion.com/fact-ch...
August 16, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Fact-Checking Trump On Crime theonion.com/fact-ch...
Reposted by Michael
Naught but a leap to the left
And thanne a clockwyse tread;
Put thyne handes on thyne hippes,
And be thy knees yn-gatheréd:
Lo, it ys the pelvique thruste
That maketh mirthe down to rayne -
Let us do the Tyme Warpe agayne!
And thanne a clockwyse tread;
Put thyne handes on thyne hippes,
And be thy knees yn-gatheréd:
Lo, it ys the pelvique thruste
That maketh mirthe down to rayne -
Let us do the Tyme Warpe agayne!
August 14, 2025 at 7:52 PM
Naught but a leap to the left
And thanne a clockwyse tread;
Put thyne handes on thyne hippes,
And be thy knees yn-gatheréd:
Lo, it ys the pelvique thruste
That maketh mirthe down to rayne -
Let us do the Tyme Warpe agayne!
And thanne a clockwyse tread;
Put thyne handes on thyne hippes,
And be thy knees yn-gatheréd:
Lo, it ys the pelvique thruste
That maketh mirthe down to rayne -
Let us do the Tyme Warpe agayne!
Reposted by Michael
And thou mayest aske thyself, 'How do Ich werke thys?'
And thou mayest aske thyself, 'Wher ys that large destrier?'
And thou mayest telle thyself, 'Thys nys not my beautiful castle!'
And thou mayest telle thyself, 'Thys nys not my swift goshawk!'
And thou mayest aske thyself, 'Wher ys that large destrier?'
And thou mayest telle thyself, 'Thys nys not my beautiful castle!'
And thou mayest telle thyself, 'Thys nys not my swift goshawk!'
August 13, 2025 at 6:13 PM
And thou mayest aske thyself, 'How do Ich werke thys?'
And thou mayest aske thyself, 'Wher ys that large destrier?'
And thou mayest telle thyself, 'Thys nys not my beautiful castle!'
And thou mayest telle thyself, 'Thys nys not my swift goshawk!'
And thou mayest aske thyself, 'Wher ys that large destrier?'
And thou mayest telle thyself, 'Thys nys not my beautiful castle!'
And thou mayest telle thyself, 'Thys nys not my swift goshawk!'
Reposted by Michael
Cyberpunke dystopia ys a cautionarye tale not a businesse plan
August 13, 2025 at 6:14 PM
Cyberpunke dystopia ys a cautionarye tale not a businesse plan
Reposted by Michael
Man: Father, I must make a confession
Priest: Tell me what sins ail you, my son
Man: I can't stop thinking about bare-naked ladies!
Priest: And how long has it been since your last confession?
Man: IT'S BEEN~
Priest: Tell me what sins ail you, my son
Man: I can't stop thinking about bare-naked ladies!
Priest: And how long has it been since your last confession?
Man: IT'S BEEN~
August 13, 2025 at 10:16 PM
Man: Father, I must make a confession
Priest: Tell me what sins ail you, my son
Man: I can't stop thinking about bare-naked ladies!
Priest: And how long has it been since your last confession?
Man: IT'S BEEN~
Priest: Tell me what sins ail you, my son
Man: I can't stop thinking about bare-naked ladies!
Priest: And how long has it been since your last confession?
Man: IT'S BEEN~
Reposted by Michael
You just gotta LOVE MAD MAGAZINE!!!
August 8, 2025 at 12:50 AM
You just gotta LOVE MAD MAGAZINE!!!
Reposted by Michael
Both of my parents were immigrants. Like other immigrants they came ( mum from Ireland, dad from Australia) for the opportunities America offered. The minute we, for any reason, begin to think of ourselves as ‘better’ than the most impoverished immigrant, we are morally lost
August 9, 2025 at 6:37 PM
Both of my parents were immigrants. Like other immigrants they came ( mum from Ireland, dad from Australia) for the opportunities America offered. The minute we, for any reason, begin to think of ourselves as ‘better’ than the most impoverished immigrant, we are morally lost
I love when I learn about a new, real thing courtesy of a beautiful roasting by the Onion.
Q: Is it wrong to put God’s teachings behind a paywall?
A: Catholicism has a rich, beautiful history of taking people’s money.
theonion.com/what-to...
A: Catholicism has a rich, beautiful history of taking people’s money.
theonion.com/what-to...
What To Know About The Hallow Prayer App
Hallow, a Catholic prayer app, is observing Lent with a prayer challenge featuring celebrities like Mark Wahlberg, who is also an investor in the app. The Onion shares everything you need to know about Hallow. Q: Who is Hallow aimed at? A: Lapsed Catholics seeking a closer connection with Mark Wahlberg. Q: Is Hallow only […]
theonion.com
March 28, 2025 at 11:49 PM
I love when I learn about a new, real thing courtesy of a beautiful roasting by the Onion.
Reposted by Michael
If you really wanted a Philosopher King, America, he was RIGHT THERE.
February 21, 2025 at 11:25 PM
If you really wanted a Philosopher King, America, he was RIGHT THERE.
Reposted by Michael
I fucked up someone’s pronouns yesterday (no excuse, I fucked up) and a poster kindly reminded me of the correct ones.
Listen. You can correct me on that anytime. Correct me on my birthday. Correct me on my deathbed.
Because despite what terrible people say, your identity MATTERS.
Listen. You can correct me on that anytime. Correct me on my birthday. Correct me on my deathbed.
Because despite what terrible people say, your identity MATTERS.
February 21, 2025 at 2:19 PM
I fucked up someone’s pronouns yesterday (no excuse, I fucked up) and a poster kindly reminded me of the correct ones.
Listen. You can correct me on that anytime. Correct me on my birthday. Correct me on my deathbed.
Because despite what terrible people say, your identity MATTERS.
Listen. You can correct me on that anytime. Correct me on my birthday. Correct me on my deathbed.
Because despite what terrible people say, your identity MATTERS.
Reposted by Michael
The prople who can’t figure out preferred pronouns are using “The Gulf of America” with zero issues.
February 12, 2025 at 8:33 PM
The prople who can’t figure out preferred pronouns are using “The Gulf of America” with zero issues.
Reposted by Michael
Maybe even pan-x-ual, what with so many X-Men.
It's *ahem* Uncanny.
It's *ahem* Uncanny.
February 11, 2025 at 1:57 PM
Maybe even pan-x-ual, what with so many X-Men.
It's *ahem* Uncanny.
It's *ahem* Uncanny.
Reposted by Michael
Reposted by Michael
Jane Eyre
Jane Watir
Jane Erthe
Jane Fyre
Long ago, the four Janes lived togethir yn harmonye...
Until the Fyre Janes attackid.
Jane Watir
Jane Erthe
Jane Fyre
Long ago, the four Janes lived togethir yn harmonye...
Until the Fyre Janes attackid.
February 10, 2025 at 9:37 PM
Jane Eyre
Jane Watir
Jane Erthe
Jane Fyre
Long ago, the four Janes lived togethir yn harmonye...
Until the Fyre Janes attackid.
Jane Watir
Jane Erthe
Jane Fyre
Long ago, the four Janes lived togethir yn harmonye...
Until the Fyre Janes attackid.
Reposted by Michael
✨🎲 A TIMELINE OF TEN YEARS OF TALES 🗺 🔍
The threads of a decade of adventure weave together as #CriticalRole Campaign 3's epic finale approaches this Thursday! Feeling lost in all the lore? Let his handy timeline be your guide as it succinctly summarizes our heroes' journey across Exandria!
The threads of a decade of adventure weave together as #CriticalRole Campaign 3's epic finale approaches this Thursday! Feeling lost in all the lore? Let his handy timeline be your guide as it succinctly summarizes our heroes' journey across Exandria!
February 4, 2025 at 11:06 PM
✨🎲 A TIMELINE OF TEN YEARS OF TALES 🗺 🔍
The threads of a decade of adventure weave together as #CriticalRole Campaign 3's epic finale approaches this Thursday! Feeling lost in all the lore? Let his handy timeline be your guide as it succinctly summarizes our heroes' journey across Exandria!
The threads of a decade of adventure weave together as #CriticalRole Campaign 3's epic finale approaches this Thursday! Feeling lost in all the lore? Let his handy timeline be your guide as it succinctly summarizes our heroes' journey across Exandria!
Obviously news to literally nobody ... but I think Instagram has a bot problem.
They aren't even trying.
#AttackOfTheClones
They aren't even trying.
#AttackOfTheClones
February 5, 2025 at 9:58 AM
Obviously news to literally nobody ... but I think Instagram has a bot problem.
They aren't even trying.
#AttackOfTheClones
They aren't even trying.
#AttackOfTheClones
He was quite a smart man, that Adams fellow.
“It is difficult to be sat on all day, every day, by some other creature, without forming an opinion on them.
On the other hand, it is perfectly possible to sit all day, every day, on top of another creature and not have the slightest thought about them whatsoever.”
Douglas Adams
On the other hand, it is perfectly possible to sit all day, every day, on top of another creature and not have the slightest thought about them whatsoever.”
Douglas Adams
February 3, 2025 at 8:45 AM
He was quite a smart man, that Adams fellow.
Reposted by Michael
I'm sure this post has gone around again lately. Gamers getting their turn.
January 17, 2025 at 1:17 AM
I'm sure this post has gone around again lately. Gamers getting their turn.
Pro¹ tip: If you need a four day weekend, just show up to work on Thursday². Fill a small amount of boiling water into a drinking receptacle and then proceed to forget how physics works and cover yourself in said water.
¹ Not actually a pro, general advice only.
² Never got the hang of Thursdays.
¹ Not actually a pro, general advice only.
² Never got the hang of Thursdays.
January 16, 2025 at 9:38 AM
Pro¹ tip: If you need a four day weekend, just show up to work on Thursday². Fill a small amount of boiling water into a drinking receptacle and then proceed to forget how physics works and cover yourself in said water.
¹ Not actually a pro, general advice only.
² Never got the hang of Thursdays.
¹ Not actually a pro, general advice only.
² Never got the hang of Thursdays.
Must be a Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursday's.
My idols are dead, my enemies are in power and the toaster’s been laughing at me
January 16, 2025 at 9:32 AM
Must be a Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursday's.
Reposted by Michael
Reposted by Michael
For those of you who don't know why Donald is *obsessed* with wind turbines ("windmills" in his juvenile vocabulary), he sued Scotland to remove turbines in the North Sea, claiming they ruined views from his golf hotel. He lost the case. And had to pay Scotland $290,000. He's still butthurt over it.
January 15, 2025 at 10:37 PM
For those of you who don't know why Donald is *obsessed* with wind turbines ("windmills" in his juvenile vocabulary), he sued Scotland to remove turbines in the North Sea, claiming they ruined views from his golf hotel. He lost the case. And had to pay Scotland $290,000. He's still butthurt over it.
Reposted by Michael
This is probably my most favorite animation I've ever done in Blender
Hugo says trans rights 🏳️⚧️
Hugo says trans rights 🏳️⚧️
January 10, 2025 at 9:07 PM
This is probably my most favorite animation I've ever done in Blender
Hugo says trans rights 🏳️⚧️
Hugo says trans rights 🏳️⚧️
Reposted by Michael
I can't be bothered to start a Bluesky account for Heavy Blog is Heavy but we used to do this thing on Twitter where we gave $100 to trans, non-binary, and queer artists. I'm going to do it from this profile.
So, if you're a trans, queer, or non-binary artist, post your link. I will buy your album
So, if you're a trans, queer, or non-binary artist, post your link. I will buy your album
January 7, 2025 at 1:13 AM
I can't be bothered to start a Bluesky account for Heavy Blog is Heavy but we used to do this thing on Twitter where we gave $100 to trans, non-binary, and queer artists. I'm going to do it from this profile.
So, if you're a trans, queer, or non-binary artist, post your link. I will buy your album
So, if you're a trans, queer, or non-binary artist, post your link. I will buy your album