Mike Heyman
@heyman.bsky.social
Introverted music festival attender | 5-2 record vs my 6-y/o daughter at air hockey
I just read a post on "the other app" that said, "The best part of being a flight attendant has to be walking down the aisle while saying 'trash' and looking people in the eye." I'm ☠️☠️☠️
November 29, 2023 at 2:10 AM
I just read a post on "the other app" that said, "The best part of being a flight attendant has to be walking down the aisle while saying 'trash' and looking people in the eye." I'm ☠️☠️☠️
Reposted by Mike Heyman
"Smooth jazz implies the existence of harsh jazz," I say, affixing a bayonet to a trombone
November 26, 2023 at 5:08 PM
"Smooth jazz implies the existence of harsh jazz," I say, affixing a bayonet to a trombone
If you want to give yourself a legit scare that doesn't involve blood and gore, watch the short film "The Chair" on YouTube. Incredible. But holy sh!t, I had to get up and walk around.
October 7, 2023 at 2:30 AM
If you want to give yourself a legit scare that doesn't involve blood and gore, watch the short film "The Chair" on YouTube. Incredible. But holy sh!t, I had to get up and walk around.
Reposted by Mike Heyman
Ladies and gentlemen... the weekend.
September 22, 2023 at 11:00 PM
Ladies and gentlemen... the weekend.
Happy Taco Tuesday to those who celebrate ✌️
September 19, 2023 at 10:45 PM
Happy Taco Tuesday to those who celebrate ✌️
I can not emphasize how royally ducked we are in the socal area if Hurricane Hilary strikes with a vengeance. Why, you ask? The closest Waffle House is in Arizona.
August 19, 2023 at 4:14 AM
I can not emphasize how royally ducked we are in the socal area if Hurricane Hilary strikes with a vengeance. Why, you ask? The closest Waffle House is in Arizona.
Reposted by Mike Heyman
Ladies and gentlemen... the weekend.
August 18, 2023 at 11:00 PM
Ladies and gentlemen... the weekend.
Reposted by Mike Heyman
ATTN: STUPID MOTHERFUCKERS
Do NOT kayak the flash floods.
Do NOT kayak the flash floods.
August 18, 2023 at 3:27 PM
ATTN: STUPID MOTHERFUCKERS
Do NOT kayak the flash floods.
Do NOT kayak the flash floods.
Reposted by Mike Heyman
this is the fucking funniest thing i've ever read in my life
July 22, 2023 at 5:31 PM
this is the fucking funniest thing i've ever read in my life
Reposted by Mike Heyman
Babe you must be the summer of 2023 because you’re breaking all previous hotness records and scaring the shit out of everybody.
July 23, 2023 at 2:37 AM
Babe you must be the summer of 2023 because you’re breaking all previous hotness records and scaring the shit out of everybody.
Tomorrow begins #SharkWeek and an entire 6 days of nothing but sharks on my TV.
July 23, 2023 at 12:27 AM
Tomorrow begins #SharkWeek and an entire 6 days of nothing but sharks on my TV.
First the lead singer of Rammstein...
Then the lead singer of Anti-Flag...
How hard is it to get consent?
Then the lead singer of Anti-Flag...
How hard is it to get consent?
July 20, 2023 at 10:53 PM
First the lead singer of Rammstein...
Then the lead singer of Anti-Flag...
How hard is it to get consent?
Then the lead singer of Anti-Flag...
How hard is it to get consent?
I don't mean to brag, but "touch grass"? Maybe for the landlocked... I prefer to touch sand. #SanDiego
July 17, 2023 at 2:04 AM
I don't mean to brag, but "touch grass"? Maybe for the landlocked... I prefer to touch sand. #SanDiego
Good to see we've transitioned to the "need a plumber, the cold water side of the sink doesn't work" season on Nextdoor.
July 14, 2023 at 6:21 PM
Good to see we've transitioned to the "need a plumber, the cold water side of the sink doesn't work" season on Nextdoor.
Reposted by Mike Heyman
Reposted by Mike Heyman
Ladies and gentlemen... the weekend.
July 7, 2023 at 11:00 PM
Ladies and gentlemen... the weekend.
Reposted by Mike Heyman
Are we going back to Tumblr or what
July 7, 2023 at 3:49 PM
Are we going back to Tumblr or what
I don't know why I thought the name of the vinyl catalog website "discogs" was pronounced as one word, but here we are...
July 6, 2023 at 10:11 PM
I don't know why I thought the name of the vinyl catalog website "discogs" was pronounced as one word, but here we are...
Reposted by Mike Heyman
Every screenshot of Threads I've seen is basically
𝐇𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐳
who getting they ketch upped??
8,729 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘴 · 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘞𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘍𝘢𝘳𝘨𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘉𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘊𝘰𝘴𝘣𝘺
𝐇𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐳
who getting they ketch upped??
8,729 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘴 · 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘞𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘍𝘢𝘳𝘨𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘉𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘊𝘰𝘴𝘣𝘺
July 6, 2023 at 8:23 PM
Every screenshot of Threads I've seen is basically
𝐇𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐳
who getting they ketch upped??
8,729 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘴 · 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘞𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘍𝘢𝘳𝘨𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘉𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘊𝘰𝘴𝘣𝘺
𝐇𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐳
who getting they ketch upped??
8,729 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘴 · 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘞𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘍𝘢𝘳𝘨𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘉𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘊𝘰𝘴𝘣𝘺
Reposted by Mike Heyman
Reposted by Mike Heyman
Sometimes when my phone rings, I am legitimately offended.
June 27, 2023 at 12:55 AM
Sometimes when my phone rings, I am legitimately offended.
Reposted by Mike Heyman
