✨️🖤Hayley Phoenix🖤✨️
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hayleyphoenix.bsky.social
✨️🖤Hayley Phoenix🖤✨️
@hayleyphoenix.bsky.social
Reposted by ✨️🖤Hayley Phoenix🖤✨️
ITS FLAT FUCK FRIDAY

ROLL THE CLIP
August 1, 2025 at 2:30 PM
A tragedy in two acts
May 22, 2025 at 2:58 AM
Reposted by ✨️🖤Hayley Phoenix🖤✨️
Oh my god the bear is espresso ice so the coffee gets stronger as he melts
May 21, 2025 at 10:47 AM
May 15, 2025 at 12:05 AM
When I tell you I was not prepared, mentally or emotionally, for this kiosk to appear in my grocery store unannounced. Legit thought I was having a menty b and was hallucinating a poke center IRL. I get it NOW but the way I stood squinting at this for a good 5 minutes 😬
April 16, 2025 at 10:53 PM
Reposted by ✨️🖤Hayley Phoenix🖤✨️
Senator Cory Booker has now broken the record for the longest Senate Floor speech, previously held by Strom Thurmond (24 hours 18 minutes).
April 1, 2025 at 11:23 PM
The Domino's Doorbell Princess commercial lives rent-free in my head
March 28, 2025 at 1:29 AM
Black cats have my soul in a chokehold. I've never known love like until my girl Sable
The power of on-screen representation 😻🐈‍⬛
March 23, 2025 at 2:01 AM
Reposted by ✨️🖤Hayley Phoenix🖤✨️
Reading a fantasy book by most authors when a 'horse sized frog' appears: yaaaay frog
When the author is @seananmcguire.bsky.social who I know has a very good understanding of how frogs work: THIS IS NOT SAFE
March 16, 2025 at 12:23 PM
I wanna know how that private hall is used for that last one
February 26, 2025 at 6:36 PM
My tummy hurts
February 26, 2025 at 2:50 AM
My insurance lady likes me so much that she tried to set me up with her coworker 😂 There's an age difference that doesn't work out, but damn my odds of having a meet-cute through my life insurance lady were higher than I would've anticipated
February 25, 2025 at 1:28 AM
It's not a workout if it doesn't give your muscles a delicious tremble afterward
(At least for me)
February 24, 2025 at 5:25 AM
My mom: that's one thing I do love about you, you commit to the bit
February 13, 2025 at 2:05 AM
Where are the Nickelodeon slime buckets? I feel like if we made all the offices into the Hidden Temple obstacles, filmed their attempts and posted them, that would slow some folks down.
I shouldn’t laugh at this but I somehow needed to.
February 8, 2025 at 4:10 AM
Reposted by ✨️🖤Hayley Phoenix🖤✨️
they say "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" well i don't want to be strong, i want to drink iced coffee and read books and take naps.
February 6, 2025 at 4:29 PM
I used to be able to chug bottles/cups/jugs of alcohol with speed in my younger years. Now if I even so much as try to drink water or coffee in anything so much as resembling a timely manner, my throat clenches in protest of the prior abuse. This pisses me off to no end...
February 6, 2025 at 10:27 PM
Stuffed potato mochi
February 6, 2025 at 2:35 AM
"I forgot about the feral cat..."
"Yeah, it's real easy to!"
February 5, 2025 at 11:51 PM
Reposted by ✨️🖤Hayley Phoenix🖤✨️
Not to get all political on you but actually I do think you should be talking to people you know about this
cool how Project 2025 went viral during the election, we were told Trump disavowed it and wouldn't do it, he got elected and started implementing it immediately and now we're being told "well this is what people voted for"

they very explicitly did not
The people now in charge of the Office of Personnel Management apparently don’t know how to scrub PDF metadata, and have exposed the original authors of the guidance they’re publishing. Two, Noah Peters and James Sherk, have links to the Heritage Foundation and Project 2025.
January 28, 2025 at 2:38 AM
My second genie's wish would be that there were more hours in the day. The third would be that I could still function on 4hrs of sleep in that extended day.
January 27, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Reposted by ✨️🖤Hayley Phoenix🖤✨️
thought lily allen's song about her brother alfie was funny when it first came out then he was in game of thrones and i was like ahh shit he's a real person :( that's actually mean and now i firmly believe, given the same circumstances, my big sister would have written a sisterly diss song about me
January 27, 2025 at 12:43 PM
I keep getting real confused when a coworker says something about my hair, because how tf would they notice that? And I have to remind myself I went from that to this with zero notice overnight. This isn't a cut I expected to do even two weeks ago ✨️I✨️ keep forgetting it's different.
January 22, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Maybe it's cause I'm a horror fan, but I'm getting big The Thing vibes from the TikTok revival. Also, the folks at XHS are scared they're gonna lose their newfound American friends so I'm chill over there until we find out what crawled into TT's skin #tiktok #rednote #xhs
January 20, 2025 at 2:39 AM
Reposted by ✨️🖤Hayley Phoenix🖤✨️
I don't see much point in arguing which elderly racist white man is technically responsible for this particular fuckup
January 19, 2025 at 5:00 AM