they boutta find out how hard it is to get people to resubscribe once they cancel a service

Blessed be the fruit loops.

I need to do my laundry but I just wanna keep rewatching The Handmaid’s Tale & lay in bed. (For context, I have to go down the road to a laundromat.)

luteal phase post election and while transitioning to new meds is NAWT for the weak. alexa play this is me trying :’)

Now if we can keep this bit of heaven away from the crazies… everyone is so much nicer over here!

Doctor: You have a blink-18tumor.
Me: Sick.

The recipe for a good social media app isn't hard if you understand that people simply yearn to read and write sentences without angry guys yelling slurs at them

Follower count here has jumped quite a bit in a week.

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free
Of Twitter Nazis and guys named Dale
Telling Women To Make Him A Sandwich

the joint slay of a lesbian and a bisexual is unmatched

All of our old Twitter friends coming here and rediscovering us like in that dark future episode of Gargoyles: battle-worn, exhausted, and even more bisexual than before.

It's a great reminder. It's too easy to say "Eff Florida/Texas/etc" or "they got what they voted for" and forget that, while there is an over-abundance of shitheads putting other shitheads in power, there are are large chunks of people suffering and fighting the good fight that still need support.

So we all agree that the only real ghosts in Scooby Doo are the gang, right? The Mystery Machine flipped over on the way to their first mystery in September of '69 and they've been roaming the country as ageless ghosts ironically cursed to debunk monster mysteries ever since? We all know this?

[About to tell you the most fucked up shit you've ever heard in your life]:

Guys i have a funny story

If you're not happy single, you won't be happy in a relationship. True happiness comes from making bizarre impulse purchases online, not from another person.