*lights cigarette*
Yeah it was me
*takes a long drag and slowly exhales*
I framed Roger Rabbit

My dad died from being nacho cheese flavor blasted you son of a bitch

the jacket from drive except instead of a scorpion on the back it is the word "Drive"

My dad died from Saturday Night Fever you son of a bitch

nice jam you’ve got there, be a real shame if someone pumped it up

When I die put two Oreo Double-Stuffed cookies on my eyes so hell knows a true warrior is coming

ME: I’d like to buy a vowel
PAT SAJAK: ok
ME: are there any *jaws unhinge* [unholy demonic screeches from the lower pits of hell]
PAT SAJAK: *eyes turn black* THERE ARE SIX HUNDRED AND SIXTY SIX

you (plebeian, unrefined): Die Hard is a Christmas movie

me (worldly, sophisticated): Die Hard is a Christmas film

My dad died being rocked like a hurricane you son of a bitch

ME: Is he going to make it?
DOCTOR: No. I’m afraid he’s down with the sickness
ME: *crying* oohwahahahah
DOCTOR: *holds hand* oohwahahahah

Bob of Ghanoush