Presently watching man record bagpipes for Rogue Trooper.
Only have one note-

Sgt. Vincent La Hanna: ‘This crew is good’

‘Omar coming!’

Listen to your children read. Read to your children. Read alongside your children. Take them to libraries. Talk about what reading means to you & what it can unlock.
Tell them it doesn’t matter if it’s comics, magazines or books as long as they’re engaged with the written word. #WorldBookDay

One little known fact about my family is that my grandad predicted the Titanic would sink. He even went around warning everyone it was unsafe and was ignored and yelled at.

Then when it actually happened just like he said it would nobody acknowledged him because he'd been evicted from the theatre

Day 138 of January.
Time has lost all meaning.
The food abundance of Christmas is a distant foggy memory.
Meals are made from leftover Bounty chocolate from the tub of Celebrations & spiders.
Forgotten what money is.
Burning used selection boxes for heat.
Still 4 months till February

Repurpose Christmas cards to save money

Gym Installs Confusing New Equipment To Mess With Anyone Joining In January
theonion.com/gym-installs...

INVENTOR: Yeah, it’s called a hang glider

FRIEND: And you want me to just run off a mountain?

INVENTOR: Yep.

FRIEND: Fuck off, Dave.

[date]

her: I’m a chiropractor

me: *under breath* holy shit I thought they were extinct

The ghost of my ancestor: 'We had eight children. Five died in infancy. I worked sixteen hours a day, six days a week. We all lived in one room. Once a year, as a treat, we shared an apple.'

Me: 'One of my app icons changed colour and now my phone feels all weird.'