Thumper Forge
@fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
Gardnerian Witch. Discordian Warlock.
Spicy Shopkeep. Notary Public. ThumperForge.com
Spicy Shopkeep. Notary Public. ThumperForge.com
The downside to joining a church (UU) with @sarahlcrowder.bsky.social is that she's in the choir, so I can't text her whenever something hilarious happens during the service.
November 23, 2025 at 11:25 PM
The downside to joining a church (UU) with @sarahlcrowder.bsky.social is that she's in the choir, so I can't text her whenever something hilarious happens during the service.
Customer: "May I use your restroom?"
Me: "Sure. It's right down that hallway."
Customer: "Oh, thank you! A client made me drink an entire bottle of plum wine."
And you know what? I do not get paid enough to judge or ask questions.
Me: "Sure. It's right down that hallway."
Customer: "Oh, thank you! A client made me drink an entire bottle of plum wine."
And you know what? I do not get paid enough to judge or ask questions.
November 22, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Customer: "May I use your restroom?"
Me: "Sure. It's right down that hallway."
Customer: "Oh, thank you! A client made me drink an entire bottle of plum wine."
And you know what? I do not get paid enough to judge or ask questions.
Me: "Sure. It's right down that hallway."
Customer: "Oh, thank you! A client made me drink an entire bottle of plum wine."
And you know what? I do not get paid enough to judge or ask questions.
Customer 1: [pointing to something in a display case] "Have you ever tried this?"
Customer 2: "Oh, God, no. I told you what happened in Fort Lauderdale, right?"
Customer 1: "Ooh, yeah, you did."
Customer 2: "Yeah. All that blood."
Customer 1: "Toot toot!"
Customer 2: "Beep beep!"
1/2
Customer 2: "Oh, God, no. I told you what happened in Fort Lauderdale, right?"
Customer 1: "Ooh, yeah, you did."
Customer 2: "Yeah. All that blood."
Customer 1: "Toot toot!"
Customer 2: "Beep beep!"
1/2
November 22, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Customer 1: [pointing to something in a display case] "Have you ever tried this?"
Customer 2: "Oh, God, no. I told you what happened in Fort Lauderdale, right?"
Customer 1: "Ooh, yeah, you did."
Customer 2: "Yeah. All that blood."
Customer 1: "Toot toot!"
Customer 2: "Beep beep!"
1/2
Customer 2: "Oh, God, no. I told you what happened in Fort Lauderdale, right?"
Customer 1: "Ooh, yeah, you did."
Customer 2: "Yeah. All that blood."
Customer 1: "Toot toot!"
Customer 2: "Beep beep!"
1/2
A customer, intoxicated on... something or other, wandered in, got confused by his surroundings, and decided that he worked here. So I told him it was closing time and held the door open for him, and he scurried right out.
It was 11:30 a.m., but he didn't strike me as much of a clockwatcher.
It was 11:30 a.m., but he didn't strike me as much of a clockwatcher.
November 21, 2025 at 6:09 PM
A customer, intoxicated on... something or other, wandered in, got confused by his surroundings, and decided that he worked here. So I told him it was closing time and held the door open for him, and he scurried right out.
It was 11:30 a.m., but he didn't strike me as much of a clockwatcher.
It was 11:30 a.m., but he didn't strike me as much of a clockwatcher.
Attractive customer: [flirts]
Me: [blushes, flirts back]
Random other customer: [leers creepily]
Attractive customer: [notices, leaves quickly]
Offscreen orchestra: [sad trombone]
Me: [blushes, flirts back]
Random other customer: [leers creepily]
Attractive customer: [notices, leaves quickly]
Offscreen orchestra: [sad trombone]
November 19, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Attractive customer: [flirts]
Me: [blushes, flirts back]
Random other customer: [leers creepily]
Attractive customer: [notices, leaves quickly]
Offscreen orchestra: [sad trombone]
Me: [blushes, flirts back]
Random other customer: [leers creepily]
Attractive customer: [notices, leaves quickly]
Offscreen orchestra: [sad trombone]
Reposted by Thumper Forge
If you're considering hexing someone.
1. Get salt, the person's name on a piece of paper, and a candle
2. Focus on your intention and accept the karmic weight you will be taking on.
3. Drop a piano on them
1. Get salt, the person's name on a piece of paper, and a candle
2. Focus on your intention and accept the karmic weight you will be taking on.
3. Drop a piano on them
November 19, 2025 at 6:04 PM
If you're considering hexing someone.
1. Get salt, the person's name on a piece of paper, and a candle
2. Focus on your intention and accept the karmic weight you will be taking on.
3. Drop a piano on them
1. Get salt, the person's name on a piece of paper, and a candle
2. Focus on your intention and accept the karmic weight you will be taking on.
3. Drop a piano on them
Reposted by Thumper Forge
I got to read an advance copy of The Chaos Apple by Thumper Forge, and it was an absolutely delightful read that gave me some new ways to think about my magickal practice (and drastically improved my opinion of chaos magick and Discordianism). I highly recommend […]
[Original post on kind.social]
[Original post on kind.social]
November 18, 2025 at 6:39 PM
I got to read an advance copy of The Chaos Apple by Thumper Forge, and it was an absolutely delightful read that gave me some new ways to think about my magickal practice (and drastically improved my opinion of chaos magick and Discordianism). I highly recommend […]
[Original post on kind.social]
[Original post on kind.social]
So I'm currently watching a horror movie called "The Bayou," and it's not great, but it's also totally worth it, because METH GATORS.
#MethGators
#MethGators
November 17, 2025 at 7:45 PM
So I'm currently watching a horror movie called "The Bayou," and it's not great, but it's also totally worth it, because METH GATORS.
#MethGators
#MethGators
Oh, no. Their exes got together.
November 15, 2025 at 5:26 PM
Oh, no. Their exes got together.
There's a drunk girl outside of my Airbnb screaming, "HIT ME, BITCH," at oncoming traffic while her friends half-drag her across the street.
I am really starting to like this town, y'all. #ClevelandRocks
I am really starting to like this town, y'all. #ClevelandRocks
November 9, 2025 at 5:11 AM
There's a drunk girl outside of my Airbnb screaming, "HIT ME, BITCH," at oncoming traffic while her friends half-drag her across the street.
I am really starting to like this town, y'all. #ClevelandRocks
I am really starting to like this town, y'all. #ClevelandRocks
When the menu foretells your presentation on Discordianism. #DiscordianWitchcraft
November 8, 2025 at 4:25 PM
When the menu foretells your presentation on Discordianism. #DiscordianWitchcraft
Reposted by Thumper Forge
It's my birthday, and I started the Chaos Apple by @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social 🎂🍎🎂🍏🎂 Unintentional gifts are the best kind.
November 8, 2025 at 4:20 PM
It's my birthday, and I started the Chaos Apple by @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social 🎂🍎🎂🍏🎂 Unintentional gifts are the best kind.
Just left the polling station. Physically, I voted on Texas constitutional amendments. Spiritually, I voted for Zohran Mamdani.
November 4, 2025 at 3:40 PM
Just left the polling station. Physically, I voted on Texas constitutional amendments. Spiritually, I voted for Zohran Mamdani.
Reposted by Thumper Forge
October 30, 2025 at 12:40 AM
Nobody but me thinks it would be funny to call it D-CUUPS, and I have done my best to make peace with that.
@sarahlcrowder.bsky.social
@sarahlcrowder.bsky.social
The Discordian Cabal Of Unitarian Universalist Pagans
Nobody but me thinks it would be funny to call it D-CUUPS, and I have done my best to make peace with that.
www.patheos.com
October 28, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Nobody but me thinks it would be funny to call it D-CUUPS, and I have done my best to make peace with that.
@sarahlcrowder.bsky.social
@sarahlcrowder.bsky.social
Reposted by Thumper Forge
Why yes, I do have 31 books on my “Currently Reading” list. And yes, I am about to make it 32.
It’s finally in my hands @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social. 🎉
It’s finally in my hands @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social. 🎉
October 28, 2025 at 2:54 AM
Why yes, I do have 31 books on my “Currently Reading” list. And yes, I am about to make it 32.
It’s finally in my hands @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social. 🎉
It’s finally in my hands @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social. 🎉
Reposted by Thumper Forge
Hey @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social ! Look what arrived today! Can't wait to dive in! #NewBooks #MagicLibrary #WitchSky
October 27, 2025 at 9:02 PM
Hey @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social ! Look what arrived today! Can't wait to dive in! #NewBooks #MagicLibrary #WitchSky
Reposted by Thumper Forge
The new episode of BS-Free Witchcraft (featuring @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social ) is up for everyone, and we're tackling the weird anti-Wicca stuff on social media (and occasionally referencing Bring it On).
Listen/Watch now wherever you consume your podcasts! www.bsfreewitchcraft.com/2025/10/25/8...
Listen/Watch now wherever you consume your podcasts! www.bsfreewitchcraft.com/2025/10/25/8...
October 27, 2025 at 3:23 PM
The new episode of BS-Free Witchcraft (featuring @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social ) is up for everyone, and we're tackling the weird anti-Wicca stuff on social media (and occasionally referencing Bring it On).
Listen/Watch now wherever you consume your podcasts! www.bsfreewitchcraft.com/2025/10/25/8...
Listen/Watch now wherever you consume your podcasts! www.bsfreewitchcraft.com/2025/10/25/8...
Me: "Hello! What can I help you find today?"
Customer: "Oh, we're *literally* just looking around."
And then they looked around.
I dislike their reliance on extraneous adverbs but appreciate their transparency.
Customer: "Oh, we're *literally* just looking around."
And then they looked around.
I dislike their reliance on extraneous adverbs but appreciate their transparency.
October 25, 2025 at 10:35 PM
Me: "Hello! What can I help you find today?"
Customer: "Oh, we're *literally* just looking around."
And then they looked around.
I dislike their reliance on extraneous adverbs but appreciate their transparency.
Customer: "Oh, we're *literally* just looking around."
And then they looked around.
I dislike their reliance on extraneous adverbs but appreciate their transparency.
Reposted by Thumper Forge
I enjoyed this conversation between @traegorn.bsky.social and @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social on the ignorant and hypocritical anti-Wicca rhetoric that’s popular on social media, particularly on TikTok. #PaganSky #WitchSky
October 25, 2025 at 9:55 AM
I enjoyed this conversation between @traegorn.bsky.social and @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social on the ignorant and hypocritical anti-Wicca rhetoric that’s popular on social media, particularly on TikTok. #PaganSky #WitchSky
Reposted by Thumper Forge
Tonight, I managed to get myself locked out of the lobby of a performance venue, and the celebrity WHOSE SHOW I WAS THERE TO SEE had to ask security to please let me back in.
So, y'know, either I've arrived, or I'm now on a watchlist. Possibly both.
So, y'know, either I've arrived, or I'm now on a watchlist. Possibly both.
October 25, 2025 at 4:32 AM
Tonight, I managed to get myself locked out of the lobby of a performance venue, and the celebrity WHOSE SHOW I WAS THERE TO SEE had to ask security to please let me back in.
So, y'know, either I've arrived, or I'm now on a watchlist. Possibly both.
So, y'know, either I've arrived, or I'm now on a watchlist. Possibly both.
Reposted by Thumper Forge
Episode drops tomorrow for everyone, but Patreon patrons can listen right now! @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social joins me this month as we discuss the weird anti-Wicca backlash on Witchcraft social media www.bsfreewitchcraft.com
#witchsky #witch #wicca #witchcraft
#witchsky #witch #wicca #witchcraft
October 24, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Episode drops tomorrow for everyone, but Patreon patrons can listen right now! @fivefoldlaw.bsky.social joins me this month as we discuss the weird anti-Wicca backlash on Witchcraft social media www.bsfreewitchcraft.com
#witchsky #witch #wicca #witchcraft
#witchsky #witch #wicca #witchcraft
Me: "Hello! What can I help you find today?"
Customer: "Hi! Where do you keep your 1980s aerobic instructor outfits?"
I totally forgot it's the time of year when people decide we're a costume shop, and that is 100% on me.
Customer: "Hi! Where do you keep your 1980s aerobic instructor outfits?"
I totally forgot it's the time of year when people decide we're a costume shop, and that is 100% on me.
October 24, 2025 at 4:19 PM
Me: "Hello! What can I help you find today?"
Customer: "Hi! Where do you keep your 1980s aerobic instructor outfits?"
I totally forgot it's the time of year when people decide we're a costume shop, and that is 100% on me.
Customer: "Hi! Where do you keep your 1980s aerobic instructor outfits?"
I totally forgot it's the time of year when people decide we're a costume shop, and that is 100% on me.
Reposted by Thumper Forge
Occult Grifters doing the Right Wing pivot and still getting burnt at the stake by the fundamentalist
October 20, 2025 at 11:41 PM
Occult Grifters doing the Right Wing pivot and still getting burnt at the stake by the fundamentalist