Thumper Forge
LightNews LightNews
banner
fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
Thumper Forge
@fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
1.6K followers 390 following 720 posts
Gardnerian Witch. Discordian Warlock.
Spicy Shopkeep. Notary Public. ThumperForge.com
Posts Replies Media Videos
fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
Oh, no. Their exes got together.
Bill Clinton sitting on a green sofa.
November 15, 2025 at 5:26 PM
fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
When the menu foretells your presentation on Discordianism. #DiscordianWitchcraft
A laminated diner menu with the name of one of the omelets ("Mad Greek") circled in gold.
November 8, 2025 at 4:25 PM
fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
Well, okay, then. I guess I really *did* write a book.
A cardboard box full of author copies of the book THE CHAOS APPLE.
October 17, 2025 at 8:19 PM
fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
The apple on the spine has a lil' leaf. I am obsessed with the lil' leaf.

#TheChaosApple #DiscordianWitchcraft
The spine of the book THE CHAOS APPLE, which features a tiny golden apple with a green leaf on its stem.
October 8, 2025 at 6:08 PM
fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
LOOK WHAT OFFICIALLY EXISTS. Splattering onto shelves November 8, currently available for pre-order. (Link in the comments.) 🎉 #TheChaosApple #DiscordianWitchcraft
A bearded person wearing a black kufi with thin gold stripes and a blue-and-white checkered button-down shirt holds up a copy of the book THE CHAOS APPLE: MAGIC AND DISCORDIANISM FOR THE POSTMODERN WITCH.
October 8, 2025 at 5:21 PM
fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
Celebrating my solar return with the Witches Movie Coven.

@witchesmoviecoven.bsky.social
September 18, 2025 at 6:39 PM
fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
Cooler than this one?
September 17, 2025 at 12:55 AM
fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
Back in the 70s, Texas didn't just have chainsaw massacres and towns that dreaded sundown: We ALSO had satanic murder cults! Join the Witches Movie Coven this Wednesday at 9 p.m. EST as we barrel through RACE WITH THE DEVIL. (Link in the comments.)

@witchesmoviecoven.bsky.social
On the left, a movie poster for RACE WITH THE DEVIL; on the right, a bearded person wearing a black bucket hat and holding a golden apple.
September 16, 2025 at 11:46 PM
fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
My official Witches Movie Coven uniform has arrived!

@witchesmoviecoven.bsky.social #OuijaShark #DiscordianWitchcraft
September 9, 2025 at 5:16 PM
fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
Are you a Gen X-er/Elder Millennial who loved Debbie Harry in TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE: THE MOVIE? Well, NIGHTBOOKS is… not that. Come hear the rest of my glowing review on The Witch's Movie Coven tonight at 9 p.m. EST. (Link in the comments.)

@witchesmoviecoven.bsky.social
On the left, a movie poster for NIGHTBOOKS; on the right, a bearded person wearing a black bucket hat and holding a golden apple.
August 13, 2025 at 5:38 PM
fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
If your ritual knife isn't consecrated with skunk pee, are you even practicing witchcraft? Hold your breath with The Witch's Movie Coven as we wade into the glorious dreck that is DAUGHTERS OF SATAN. (Tonight at 9 p.m. EST, link in the comments.)

@witchesmoviecoven.bsky.social
On the left, a movie poster for DAUGHTERS OF SATAN; on the right, a bearded person wearing a black bucket hat and holding a golden apple.
August 6, 2025 at 5:38 PM
fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
My favorite toy when I was nine years old, uncovered while digging through a closet last night. Since the winged lion represents St. Mark the Evangelist, patron of notaries, I am repurposing him as a mascot/business associate.
A plastic figurine of a lion with brass-colored dragon wings rearing up on its hind legs.
July 31, 2025 at 10:27 PM
fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
To be filed under "Tilda Swinton Should Play Everyone." Join The Witch's Movie Coven tonight at 9 p.m. EST as we navigate the psychedelia of DOCTOR STRANGE. (Link in the comments.)

@witchesmoviecoven.bsky.social
On the left, the movie poster for DOCTOR STRANGE (2016); on the right, a bearded person wearing a black bucket hat and holding a golden apple.
July 23, 2025 at 5:48 PM
fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
Notary commission (finally) renewed! Come see me at the spicy shop to get stamped.
A bearded person wearing a black T-shirt and a black baseball cap embroidered with a rainbow monkey face holding a wooden paddle engraved with a Texas notary seal stands next to a white metal sign that says “NOTARY PUBLIC” in blue letters.
July 21, 2025 at 3:07 PM
fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
If you picture it with Katharine Hepburn and Cary Grant, it honestly works. Tune into The Witch's Movie Coven tonight at 9 p.m. EST as we resurrect HELLO AGAIN.

@witchesmoviecoven.bsky.social
On the left, a movie poster for HELLO AGAIN; on the right, a bearded person wearing a black bucket hat and holding a golden apple.
July 16, 2025 at 6:01 PM
fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
Witches? Zombies? A family affair? All of the above! Join The Witch's Movie Coven tonight at 9 p.m. EST as we dissect THE AUTOPSY OF JANE DOE.

@witchesmoviecoven.bsky.social
On the left, the movie poster for THE AUTOPSY OF JANE DOE; on the right, a bearded person wearing a black bucket hat and holding a golden apple.
July 9, 2025 at 11:24 PM
fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
Dismissed by critics. Snubbed by the Academy. Tonight at 9 p.m. EST, The Witch's Movie Coven aims a much-deserved spotlight at the essential folk horror of OUIJA SHARK.

@witchesmoviecoven.bsky.social
On the left, the movie poster of OUIJA SHARK; on the right, a bearded person wearing a
July 2, 2025 at 2:45 PM
fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
I am going through a Græco-Egyptian phase and was required to buy a new hat about it. I don’t make the rules.
A bearded person wearing a black slouch beanie covered in gold Egyptian symbols, with a large ankh in the front.
June 27, 2025 at 12:38 AM
fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
Rupert Everett as Oberon: Yes. Correct.

That’s my review, but listen to what the rest of the Witch's Movie Coven has to say about A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM tonight at 9 p.m. EST.

@witchesmoviecoven.bsky.social
On the left, movie poster for the 1999 film adaptation of A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM; on the right, a bearded person wearing a black bucket hat and holding a golden apple.
June 25, 2025 at 7:22 PM
fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
To commemorate signing the contract for my next book, I have assembled a “Things I Need to Read in Order to Write It” pile.

I am… going to be here awhile.
A stack of books on a variety of subjects, including Greek religion, occultism, modern philosophy, the paranormal, and polarity magic.
June 22, 2025 at 9:51 PM
fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
This is either a sign or a trap.
Profile shot of a green Cybertruck with a target painted on the driver’s side door.
June 20, 2025 at 12:35 AM
fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
“Wonder Twin enbies, activate! Form of… #QueerRites! Shape of… #TheChaosApple!”

(Co-starring the illustrious @EnfysBook.kind.social.ap.brid.gy as the Wonder Twin on the left.)
Two individuals in a side-by-side photo collage wearing matching Non-binary Pride beaded bracelets.
June 18, 2025 at 12:53 AM
fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
Mood.
A black, seven-day, glass-encased candle with a label that reads, “Be Gone Foul Beast.”
June 15, 2025 at 7:07 PM
fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
Remember when HBO threw Raymond Chandler and H. P. Lovecraft into a blender and garnished the resulting abomination with farting puppets?

@witchesmoviecoven.bsky.social remembers!

Join us tonight at 8 p.m. CST for an animated discussion of CAST A DEADLY SPELL.
To the left: a movie poster for the film CAST A DEADLY SPELL. To the right: A bearded individual wearing a black bucket hat and holding a golden apple.
June 11, 2025 at 11:07 PM
fivefoldlaw.bsky.social
I’ve been told I was a lot more fun before I quit drinking. I feel the same way about THIR13EN GHOSTS. Hear what the rest of the @witchesmoviecoven.bsky.social has to say about it tonight at 9 p.m. EST.
A movie poster for the film THIRTEEN GHOSTS, next to a portrait of a bearded person wearing a black shirt and a black bucket hat and holding a golden apple.
May 28, 2025 at 11:29 PM