Tom
@eetommyj.bsky.social
I am a human sleep enthusiast. Not a doctor.
Reposted by Tom
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Cocaine is better
With a small bit of poo
Violets are blue
Cocaine is better
With a small bit of poo
RFK Jr: I'm not scared of a germ. I used to snort cocaine off of toilet seats.
February 14, 2026 at 5:09 PM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Cocaine is better
With a small bit of poo
Violets are blue
Cocaine is better
With a small bit of poo
February 9, 2026 at 3:18 AM
Reposted by Tom
This week’s Just for Skeets and Giggles is out! Have a great weekend. open.substack.com/pub/statusku...
January 17, 2026 at 5:20 PM
This week’s Just for Skeets and Giggles is out! Have a great weekend. open.substack.com/pub/statusku...
Reposted by Tom
At a neighborhood park, a young boy noticed Natalie's young foster daughter using a walker. His reaction left Natalie with an unexpected feeling of hope for the future. n.pr/4q1aorf
A little boy gave her hope for her foster daughter's future
At a neighborhood park, a young boy noticed Natalie's young foster daughter using a walker. His reaction left Natalie with an unexpected feeling of hope for the future.
n.pr
January 1, 2026 at 5:02 PM
At a neighborhood park, a young boy noticed Natalie's young foster daughter using a walker. His reaction left Natalie with an unexpected feeling of hope for the future. n.pr/4q1aorf
Reposted by Tom
The move here for democrats is to make this the campaign ad for every single election but then also actually make it come true
KEY PART
KEY PART
Steve Bannon: If we lose the midterms and we lose 2028, some in this room are going to prison, myself included.
November 7, 2025 at 12:47 AM
The move here for democrats is to make this the campaign ad for every single election but then also actually make it come true
KEY PART
KEY PART
Reposted by Tom
The FBI director is flying his girlfriend around on private government planes while FBI agents go without paychecks and families prepare to go hungry as SNAP benefits are being suspended
Patel's girlfriend performed at Penn State last weekend. A government jet arrived at State College Regional Airport, according to its FAA registration, with an address listing the FBI HQ. The plane then flew to Nashville, where his girlfriend lives.
All on the taxpayer’s dime.
trib.al/TBvPo7A
All on the taxpayer’s dime.
trib.al/TBvPo7A
October 30, 2025 at 10:50 AM
The FBI director is flying his girlfriend around on private government planes while FBI agents go without paychecks and families prepare to go hungry as SNAP benefits are being suspended
"Let them eat urinal cakes"
-- Donald J Trump as 47th President
-- Donald J Trump as 47th President
October 31, 2025 at 3:08 PM
"Let them eat urinal cakes"
-- Donald J Trump as 47th President
-- Donald J Trump as 47th President
October 12, 2025 at 8:26 PM
If we all start calling the orange weirdo "Bad Trumpy" will that finally get him thrown out of power?
October 7, 2025 at 5:17 PM
If we all start calling the orange weirdo "Bad Trumpy" will that finally get him thrown out of power?
So happy you are all here
youtu.be/h5SavjMFRLg
youtu.be/h5SavjMFRLg
I'm Happy You're Here: Anxiety!
YouTube video by I'm Happy You're Here
youtu.be
September 28, 2025 at 4:57 PM
So happy you are all here
youtu.be/h5SavjMFRLg
youtu.be/h5SavjMFRLg
BREAKING NEWS: "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" will return to air on ABC tomorrow night, the network announced: https://cnn.it/48ebCJJ
September 22, 2025 at 10:31 PM
Reposted by Tom
This you? Just two hours later?
September 13, 2025 at 6:38 PM
This you? Just two hours later?
Reposted by Tom
Trump Renames White House Fridge Department Of Ham https://theonion.com/trump-renames-white-house-fridge-department-of-ham/
September 12, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Trump Renames White House Fridge Department Of Ham https://theonion.com/trump-renames-white-house-fridge-department-of-ham/
Now this is how you Make Apples Great Again
September 10, 2025 at 6:09 AM
Now this is how you Make Apples Great Again
Reposted by Tom
Bezos Wedding Guests Given Monogrammed Plastic Bottles To Urinate In During Ceremony
theonion.com/bezos-w...
theonion.com/bezos-w...
June 25, 2025 at 2:10 PM
Bezos Wedding Guests Given Monogrammed Plastic Bottles To Urinate In During Ceremony
theonion.com/bezos-w...
theonion.com/bezos-w...
Reposted by Tom
Magnifique! Sublime! Superbe!
I loved absorbing @robwords.bsky.social's insights in our episode of Words Unravelled dedicated to French influence in English. 🇫🇷
Plus, I found out why I hate shandies. Eurgh.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfK6...
I loved absorbing @robwords.bsky.social's insights in our episode of Words Unravelled dedicated to French influence in English. 🇫🇷
Plus, I found out why I hate shandies. Eurgh.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfK6...
Why is English full of French words?
YouTube video by Words Unravelled with RobWords and Jess Zafarris
www.youtube.com
June 25, 2025 at 3:43 PM
Magnifique! Sublime! Superbe!
I loved absorbing @robwords.bsky.social's insights in our episode of Words Unravelled dedicated to French influence in English. 🇫🇷
Plus, I found out why I hate shandies. Eurgh.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfK6...
I loved absorbing @robwords.bsky.social's insights in our episode of Words Unravelled dedicated to French influence in English. 🇫🇷
Plus, I found out why I hate shandies. Eurgh.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfK6...
Reposted by Tom
Parenting Experts Warn Babies Can Hydroplane In As Little As One Inch Of Water
theonion.com/parenti...
theonion.com/parenti...
June 25, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Parenting Experts Warn Babies Can Hydroplane In As Little As One Inch Of Water
theonion.com/parenti...
theonion.com/parenti...
Reposted by Tom
WTF?! That building was specifically designed for NSF. 🧪⚛️
NEW: NSF will be kicked out of their building. Announcement will be made tomorrow by HUD Sec. and Governor of VA. HUD will take over the NSF building over the next two years.
NSF staffer: "There is no planning for NSF, no identified future location, appropriation for a new building or a move."
NSF staffer: "There is no planning for NSF, no identified future location, appropriation for a new building or a move."
June 24, 2025 at 10:47 PM
WTF?! That building was specifically designed for NSF. 🧪⚛️
Reposted by Tom
No One Sure Why Kristi Noem Wearing Firefighter Helmet, Night-Vision Goggles, High Heels, Wet Suit theonion.com/no-one-...
No One Sure Why Kristi Noem Wearing Firefighter Helmet, Night-Vision Goggles, High Heels, Wet Suit
WASHINGTON—Racking their brains as they tried to determine the express purpose of the homeland security secretary’s outfit, sources confirmed Monday they were not sure why Kristi Noem was wearing a firefighter helmet, night-vision goggles, high heels, and a wet suit. “Huh, that’s odd, but there must be some kind of reason for it, right?” said […]
theonion.com
June 21, 2025 at 3:00 PM
No One Sure Why Kristi Noem Wearing Firefighter Helmet, Night-Vision Goggles, High Heels, Wet Suit theonion.com/no-one-...
Reposted by Tom
Philly showin' up today
June 14, 2025 at 4:51 PM
Philly showin' up today
Respected around the world
March 27, 2025 at 1:22 AM
Respected around the world
America has trumped the shark
March 5, 2025 at 1:52 PM
America has trumped the shark
Good job with lowering those high stock prices! 🤣
Do grocery and gasoline prices next, like you promised
Do grocery and gasoline prices next, like you promised
March 5, 2025 at 2:58 AM
Good job with lowering those high stock prices! 🤣
Do grocery and gasoline prices next, like you promised
Do grocery and gasoline prices next, like you promised