Douglas Cheape
@douglascheape.bsky.social
An idiot, but not one of the useful kind.
There are so many reasons to love this scene, but for me it’s the memory of my dad completely losing it at the first ‘Putting on the Ritz’, and then almost recovering before being poleaxed by each repetition. Memories of lost loved ones laughing are the diamonds of life imo.
November 29, 2025 at 10:35 PM
There are so many reasons to love this scene, but for me it’s the memory of my dad completely losing it at the first ‘Putting on the Ritz’, and then almost recovering before being poleaxed by each repetition. Memories of lost loved ones laughing are the diamonds of life imo.
Remembering when this seemed an impossibly huge selection, and how difficult it was to choose for £2 a night.
November 29, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Remembering when this seemed an impossibly huge selection, and how difficult it was to choose for £2 a night.
Never the happiest question.
November 29, 2025 at 8:24 PM
Never the happiest question.
* apparently six years ago I was furious about the Masterchef skills test*
‘Hi Josh, I want you to boil an egg and serve it with toasted soldiers.’
Next
‘Hey Kevin, slaughter this wild boar, roast it over charcoal, serve sausages 3 ways, perfect crackling; and a Christmas ham. You have 20 minutes.’
‘Hi Josh, I want you to boil an egg and serve it with toasted soldiers.’
Next
‘Hey Kevin, slaughter this wild boar, roast it over charcoal, serve sausages 3 ways, perfect crackling; and a Christmas ham. You have 20 minutes.’
November 29, 2025 at 8:22 PM
* apparently six years ago I was furious about the Masterchef skills test*
‘Hi Josh, I want you to boil an egg and serve it with toasted soldiers.’
Next
‘Hey Kevin, slaughter this wild boar, roast it over charcoal, serve sausages 3 ways, perfect crackling; and a Christmas ham. You have 20 minutes.’
‘Hi Josh, I want you to boil an egg and serve it with toasted soldiers.’
Next
‘Hey Kevin, slaughter this wild boar, roast it over charcoal, serve sausages 3 ways, perfect crackling; and a Christmas ham. You have 20 minutes.’
Reposted by Douglas Cheape
“Pay attention to the moments of contradiction & uncertainty threaded through character dialogue & self-reflection…Watch his tone. Watch his humour. For me, that’s where the sharpest lessons are”
@dr-bethany-jacobs.bsky.social on Iain Banks for @newscientist.com
www.newscientist.com/article/2506...
@dr-bethany-jacobs.bsky.social on Iain Banks for @newscientist.com
www.newscientist.com/article/2506...
Why sci-fi novelist Iain M. Banks was an ‘astounding’ world-builder
The New Scientist Book Club is currently reading the late Iain M. Banks’s Culture novel The Player of Games. Fellow science fiction author Bethany Jacobs reveals how his work inspired her
www.newscientist.com
November 28, 2025 at 5:25 PM
“Pay attention to the moments of contradiction & uncertainty threaded through character dialogue & self-reflection…Watch his tone. Watch his humour. For me, that’s where the sharpest lessons are”
@dr-bethany-jacobs.bsky.social on Iain Banks for @newscientist.com
www.newscientist.com/article/2506...
@dr-bethany-jacobs.bsky.social on Iain Banks for @newscientist.com
www.newscientist.com/article/2506...
Remembering Hamish’s predecessor, Fergus. And how he liked to pretend he was in a tank.
November 28, 2025 at 12:49 PM
Remembering Hamish’s predecessor, Fergus. And how he liked to pretend he was in a tank.
Not much is known about Jesus's brother, Gary Christ. Rumour has it he could turn water into Tennents Lager.
November 28, 2025 at 12:43 PM
Not much is known about Jesus's brother, Gary Christ. Rumour has it he could turn water into Tennents Lager.
Your annual reminder to never buy a breeding pair of Bernese Mountain Dogs from a guy in the pub.
November 28, 2025 at 12:41 PM
Your annual reminder to never buy a breeding pair of Bernese Mountain Dogs from a guy in the pub.
Post something random or you’ll have an awful December
November 27, 2025 at 10:37 PM
Post something random or you’ll have an awful December
Growth! Growth!
‘Growth Emergency’ now exists as an accepted expression.
How has this become the only accepted way forward for the nation? Is it because those who own the media are in the business of protecting the very wealthy, and taxing their pals is a partial remedy that must not speak its name
‘Growth Emergency’ now exists as an accepted expression.
How has this become the only accepted way forward for the nation? Is it because those who own the media are in the business of protecting the very wealthy, and taxing their pals is a partial remedy that must not speak its name
November 27, 2025 at 10:29 PM
Growth! Growth!
‘Growth Emergency’ now exists as an accepted expression.
How has this become the only accepted way forward for the nation? Is it because those who own the media are in the business of protecting the very wealthy, and taxing their pals is a partial remedy that must not speak its name
‘Growth Emergency’ now exists as an accepted expression.
How has this become the only accepted way forward for the nation? Is it because those who own the media are in the business of protecting the very wealthy, and taxing their pals is a partial remedy that must not speak its name
You just died.
The sixth picture in your gallery is what killed you.
Hahaaa! True! I shit you not.
The sixth picture in your gallery is what killed you.
Hahaaa! True! I shit you not.
November 27, 2025 at 9:54 PM
You just died.
The sixth picture in your gallery is what killed you.
Hahaaa! True! I shit you not.
The sixth picture in your gallery is what killed you.
Hahaaa! True! I shit you not.
Me: I remember when I used to struggle to finish a Mars bar, and look at the size of them now?
*wife looks to the heavens and slowly shakes head*
Therapist: I meant anything bothering you about your marriage, Dougie.
*wife looks to the heavens and slowly shakes head*
Therapist: I meant anything bothering you about your marriage, Dougie.
November 27, 2025 at 9:53 AM
Me: I remember when I used to struggle to finish a Mars bar, and look at the size of them now?
*wife looks to the heavens and slowly shakes head*
Therapist: I meant anything bothering you about your marriage, Dougie.
*wife looks to the heavens and slowly shakes head*
Therapist: I meant anything bothering you about your marriage, Dougie.
Happy Thanksgiving America.
November 27, 2025 at 3:54 AM
Happy Thanksgiving America.
Started emptying boxes at 6:45am. I am now fatigued, exhausted, weary, drained, enervated, and frankly, enfeebled.
a dog is sitting on a couch with its eyes closed and a person is standing behind it .
ALT: a dog is sitting on a couch with its eyes closed and a person is standing behind it .
media.tenor.com
November 26, 2025 at 8:24 PM
Started emptying boxes at 6:45am. I am now fatigued, exhausted, weary, drained, enervated, and frankly, enfeebled.
Just a reminder, before AI there was real art.
November 26, 2025 at 8:40 AM
Just a reminder, before AI there was real art.
My darling wife spotted this at the George Square Christmas Market exactly seven years ago...and yes, that is mulled Buckie. #merrypisstmas
November 26, 2025 at 8:35 AM
My darling wife spotted this at the George Square Christmas Market exactly seven years ago...and yes, that is mulled Buckie. #merrypisstmas
Just a quick reminder to be aware that everyone around you is going through some kind of struggle; and you should find out what that is and use it against them.
November 26, 2025 at 8:33 AM
Just a quick reminder to be aware that everyone around you is going through some kind of struggle; and you should find out what that is and use it against them.
A day of toil deserves reward, and in my opinion there is no greater than an Omelette Arnold Bennett.
November 25, 2025 at 9:11 PM
A day of toil deserves reward, and in my opinion there is no greater than an Omelette Arnold Bennett.
Good morning from the new hoose.
November 25, 2025 at 8:12 AM
Good morning from the new hoose.
Breaking News: Just heard our furniture is at last on its way to a freight ship…and arriving at 5:30am tomorrow.
November 24, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Breaking News: Just heard our furniture is at last on its way to a freight ship…and arriving at 5:30am tomorrow.
‘He is eleven years old.’
November 24, 2025 at 8:36 PM
‘He is eleven years old.’
Reposted by Douglas Cheape
There was actually a time quite recently when the Young People still used Tinder
(Published around the time of Dawn Chorus Day)
(Published around the time of Dawn Chorus Day)
![[Scene is a WOODLAND just before dawn. In a tree, a TEENAGE ROBIN with big headphones on is slouching on a branch, swiping on her phone. Her DAD ROBIN approaches her on the branch looking cheerful with her MUM ROBIN also in tow].
DAD ROBIN:
Wakey wakey darling, it's National Dawn Chorus Day!
TEENAGE ROBIN:
Ugh, Dad...
DAD ROBIN:
Come on, dear...
DAD ROBIN:
It's time for us all to shout into the darkness for sex!
TEENAGE ROBIN:
What
DAD ROBIN:
You're a big bird now.
Time to put down that blessed phone and find a mate...
TEENAGE ROBIN:
I am.
On Tinder.
[She swipes on her phone]
DAD ROBIN:
Oh for heaven's sake.
Your generation has no sense of tradition!
TEENAGE ROBIN:
Right... so you'd rather I found love by bellowing into the woods for a pre-dawn hookup with a total stranger?
DAD ROBIN:
It's natural!
TEENAGE ROBIN:
It's dogging.
DAD ROBIN:
Well that's how your Mum and I had you...
TEENAGE ROBIN:
OH MY GOD GROSS
MUM ROBIN [Singing sweetly into the air]:
Sex pleeease...
TEENAGE ROBIN:
Stop it Mum.
MUM ROBIN:
SEEEEEX PLEEEEAAAASE...
TEENAGE ROBIN:
MUUUM!
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreierbhobnorq5sxzbz3n5wpp2y3b4d6gpudj7qf6qycqqlvwja7eoi@jpeg)
November 23, 2025 at 11:18 PM
There was actually a time quite recently when the Young People still used Tinder
(Published around the time of Dawn Chorus Day)
(Published around the time of Dawn Chorus Day)
‘Now don’t go on, Herman. You’re not leaving this table until you’ve finished your soup.’
that great mass of death floats on and on, till lost in infinite perspectives
November 24, 2025 at 12:55 PM
‘Now don’t go on, Herman. You’re not leaving this table until you’ve finished your soup.’
'Oh, an arrow, sooo original.' You had to hand it to St Agnetha, she remained an eighteen carat bitch right to the very end.
November 24, 2025 at 11:08 AM
'Oh, an arrow, sooo original.' You had to hand it to St Agnetha, she remained an eighteen carat bitch right to the very end.
One Christmas I looked on in surprise as my father-in-law picked up an entire fist-sized truckle of Fortnum’s pâté and nibble it to see what it tasted like. I then watched in wonder as, his eyes lighting up in pleasure, he scarfed the lot in two quick bites. Drink had been taken.
I once watched a man at Narbonne train station eat an entire Camembert - bite by bite - as if it was a sandwich.
November 23, 2025 at 9:58 PM
One Christmas I looked on in surprise as my father-in-law picked up an entire fist-sized truckle of Fortnum’s pâté and nibble it to see what it tasted like. I then watched in wonder as, his eyes lighting up in pleasure, he scarfed the lot in two quick bites. Drink had been taken.