Guy at Primus concert: It’s almost like heavier than heavy music. Because it’s so challenging.

Primus:
I’m a real funny bunny, and I know you’ll be my honey, when I put on my big wig and preen,
That hunter got a shock, when I went and called him doc, and started munching beta-carotene. YIPPEE!

Friend 1: I’m thinking of getting a tattoo of Black Phillip

Friend 2: Oh I actually got to meet the goat who played Black Phillip

Friend 1: What! How amaz—

Me, trying to one-up them: Black Phillip head butted me and broke my tailbone. Huge insurance payout. He probably won’t be in any more movies

Beautiful post

if you don’t spend several hours a day on your phone you’ll miss all the Crap and Bullshit

oh you’re a nihilist? name zero things that matter

the decline of the catgirl and the ascendance of the "puppy girl" can be directly attributed to the collapse of trust in institutions and the intensification of attacks on the working class. in an era of precarity the masses no longer have the time nor energy to nyaa

me (sober): i will not go to the town that is shrouded in fog to find my wife who has been dead for three years

me (after three beers): could she really be here after all this time? in our special place?