Elena
@czarelena.bsky.social
Russian in the UK. Pro-🇺🇦, pro-🇪🇺, pro-🏳️🌈. Bang into wine, cats and holidays.
Tiny Human has decided that 5am is the new wake-up time. I am dead.
November 27, 2025 at 5:36 AM
Tiny Human has decided that 5am is the new wake-up time. I am dead.
I cannot express fully how much I hate the joke format “What idiot called it ‘[thing]’ and not ‘[tenuous shit pun]’”, it makes my stomach turn.
November 25, 2025 at 8:38 PM
I cannot express fully how much I hate the joke format “What idiot called it ‘[thing]’ and not ‘[tenuous shit pun]’”, it makes my stomach turn.
I’d actually love to make use of Tesco Whoosh but there’s fuck all selection on there for baby stuff compared to a normal delivery so it makes way more sense to go to a store. Shame really as I’d prefer it to Deliveroo!
November 24, 2025 at 7:23 AM
I’d actually love to make use of Tesco Whoosh but there’s fuck all selection on there for baby stuff compared to a normal delivery so it makes way more sense to go to a store. Shame really as I’d prefer it to Deliveroo!
“But when’s int-“ ITS TODAY SHUT THE FUCK UP
November 19, 2025 at 10:17 AM
“But when’s int-“ ITS TODAY SHUT THE FUCK UP
I have succumbed to the lurgy.
November 18, 2025 at 7:10 PM
I have succumbed to the lurgy.
Познакомилась с русской мамой в яслях. Неожиданно.
November 18, 2025 at 2:36 PM
Познакомилась с русской мамой в яслях. Неожиданно.
Tiny Human has got into the habit of waking up at 3am to have a good scream and I think I might actually go insane.
November 17, 2025 at 3:37 AM
Tiny Human has got into the habit of waking up at 3am to have a good scream and I think I might actually go insane.
Муж и пупс оба больные, я думаю я сдохну
November 16, 2025 at 10:04 AM
Муж и пупс оба больные, я думаю я сдохну
Just suggested a long drive home from the pub so Tiny Human could nap in the car but I had 2 pints and think I might actually wet myself
November 15, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Just suggested a long drive home from the pub so Tiny Human could nap in the car but I had 2 pints and think I might actually wet myself
Pals on instagram are gallivanting around cold rainy England mountains in their waterproofs and that absolutely couldn’t be me. I’m staying firmly ensconced indoors until it’s winter sun time.
November 14, 2025 at 10:30 AM
Pals on instagram are gallivanting around cold rainy England mountains in their waterproofs and that absolutely couldn’t be me. I’m staying firmly ensconced indoors until it’s winter sun time.
Every time I’m waiting for the Botox to kick in I’m like “I bet it failed / she accidentally injected water or something” why is my brain like this
November 14, 2025 at 9:12 AM
Every time I’m waiting for the Botox to kick in I’m like “I bet it failed / she accidentally injected water or something” why is my brain like this
I’ve got an eye test tomorrow and I’ll be honest lads, I well can’t be fucked with it
November 13, 2025 at 8:19 PM
I’ve got an eye test tomorrow and I’ll be honest lads, I well can’t be fucked with it
Reposted by Elena
There's this woman doing an absolutely wild social experiment on TikTok. She calls random US churches with the sound of a baby crying in the background, explain the baby hasn't eaten in over 12 hours, and asks for 1 bottle of baby formula. She has a public spreadsheet of how each one responded. 1/3
November 13, 2025 at 6:48 AM
There's this woman doing an absolutely wild social experiment on TikTok. She calls random US churches with the sound of a baby crying in the background, explain the baby hasn't eaten in over 12 hours, and asks for 1 bottle of baby formula. She has a public spreadsheet of how each one responded. 1/3
Hahaaa hitler had a tiny dick
November 12, 2025 at 9:43 PM
Hahaaa hitler had a tiny dick
В офисе кто-то воняет мокрой собакой.
November 12, 2025 at 1:30 PM
В офисе кто-то воняет мокрой собакой.
Last night the baby fell off the bed and had a nappy blowout (tbf I’d shit myself I fell off the bed in my sleep too), in other news the bags under my eyes need their own postcode
November 12, 2025 at 10:49 AM
Last night the baby fell off the bed and had a nappy blowout (tbf I’d shit myself I fell off the bed in my sleep too), in other news the bags under my eyes need their own postcode
Look the whole thread is amazing but this turn of phrase is just *chef’s kiss*
They were, in the technical term, unexploded ordnance.
When you take your unexploded ordnance and dry it out real good and also heat it up real good, sometimes it stops being unexploded.
When you take your unexploded ordnance and dry it out real good and also heat it up real good, sometimes it stops being unexploded.
November 11, 2025 at 7:47 PM
Look the whole thread is amazing but this turn of phrase is just *chef’s kiss*
Strolling three abreast down Moorgate in evening rush hour should be an actual crime.
November 11, 2025 at 5:39 PM
Strolling three abreast down Moorgate in evening rush hour should be an actual crime.
I’m hungry but there’s only ingredients in the fridge
November 8, 2025 at 10:04 AM
I’m hungry but there’s only ingredients in the fridge
Reposted by Elena
Sorry I dropped you during the trust fall, I was going through your phone.
November 5, 2025 at 8:08 PM
Sorry I dropped you during the trust fall, I was going through your phone.
Today was bath day so obviously Tiny Human barfed up mushed up beef meatball immediately after.
November 7, 2025 at 7:19 PM
Today was bath day so obviously Tiny Human barfed up mushed up beef meatball immediately after.
Пару дней не были в магазе, дома жрать нечего, поэтому на ужин уже 2 дня подряд хаваю бутерброды с красной икрой
November 7, 2025 at 3:05 PM
Пару дней не были в магазе, дома жрать нечего, поэтому на ужин уже 2 дня подряд хаваю бутерброды с красной икрой
I have done horrifyingly little work today
November 7, 2025 at 3:04 PM
I have done horrifyingly little work today
HMPO have processed Tiny Human’s passport application in 3 days flat, meanwhile I’m still waiting for my phone case to be dispatched
November 5, 2025 at 10:32 AM
HMPO have processed Tiny Human’s passport application in 3 days flat, meanwhile I’m still waiting for my phone case to be dispatched