Reposted by jon
"Malort advent calendar" is already such an unhinged concept but every little window just having Malort in it really pushes it over the edge into something transcendently funny
November 15, 2025 at 12:54 AM
"Malort advent calendar" is already such an unhinged concept but every little window just having Malort in it really pushes it over the edge into something transcendently funny
Reposted by jon
Curtis Sliwa is the Trisha Paytas of politics does that make sense
November 5, 2025 at 8:20 PM
Curtis Sliwa is the Trisha Paytas of politics does that make sense
No Nut November is like Pride Month for people whose fetish is sexual guilt
r/NoFap is their Stonewall Inn
r/NoFap is their Stonewall Inn
November 1, 2025 at 8:51 PM
No Nut November is like Pride Month for people whose fetish is sexual guilt
r/NoFap is their Stonewall Inn
r/NoFap is their Stonewall Inn
I wonder if the IDF still has those cum bridages to collect the cum from dead soldiers
October 21, 2025 at 3:57 AM
I wonder if the IDF still has those cum bridages to collect the cum from dead soldiers
Reposted by jon
in my dream I heard a crazy rumor that George Clooney only puts the condom on the tip
October 17, 2025 at 9:50 PM
in my dream I heard a crazy rumor that George Clooney only puts the condom on the tip
the idea that Christopher Columbus is some Italian icon is especially wacky when you think about how America is named after a different colonizer who is way more Italian
of course that guy sucked too but y'know
of course that guy sucked too but y'know
October 17, 2025 at 2:56 PM
the idea that Christopher Columbus is some Italian icon is especially wacky when you think about how America is named after a different colonizer who is way more Italian
of course that guy sucked too but y'know
of course that guy sucked too but y'know
my wife sent me a Dear John letter, which I oughta just call a John Deere letter on account of she's attractored to other men
October 1, 2025 at 4:44 AM
my wife sent me a Dear John letter, which I oughta just call a John Deere letter on account of she's attractored to other men
the Wokerine be like "hey bub (gender neutral term of address) I'm the best there is at what I do, and what I do best ain't pretty by heteronormative standards" and then his claws are syringes of HRT
September 24, 2025 at 10:56 PM
the Wokerine be like "hey bub (gender neutral term of address) I'm the best there is at what I do, and what I do best ain't pretty by heteronormative standards" and then his claws are syringes of HRT
trying to figure out if you have Tylenol Autism or Vaccine Autism or 5G Autism or Food Dye Autism or Seed Oil Autism based on your vibes
September 23, 2025 at 2:45 PM
trying to figure out if you have Tylenol Autism or Vaccine Autism or 5G Autism or Food Dye Autism or Seed Oil Autism based on your vibes
Weird Old Man Cinematic Universe where the villains of:
- The Menu
- Opus
- Heretic
- Knives Out: Glass Onion
- Him (probably, haven't seen it yet)
all team up and build an even bigger death trap and they get to take turns monologuing to hot young people about their fucked up ideologies
- The Menu
- Opus
- Heretic
- Knives Out: Glass Onion
- Him (probably, haven't seen it yet)
all team up and build an even bigger death trap and they get to take turns monologuing to hot young people about their fucked up ideologies
September 23, 2025 at 2:55 AM
Weird Old Man Cinematic Universe where the villains of:
- The Menu
- Opus
- Heretic
- Knives Out: Glass Onion
- Him (probably, haven't seen it yet)
all team up and build an even bigger death trap and they get to take turns monologuing to hot young people about their fucked up ideologies
- The Menu
- Opus
- Heretic
- Knives Out: Glass Onion
- Him (probably, haven't seen it yet)
all team up and build an even bigger death trap and they get to take turns monologuing to hot young people about their fucked up ideologies
RFK Jr please make tree ice cream commercially available instead of whatever tf you're doing right now!! I'm sick of the tree ice cream guy getting to enjoy all these unique ice creams by himself!!
September 21, 2025 at 8:11 PM
RFK Jr please make tree ice cream commercially available instead of whatever tf you're doing right now!! I'm sick of the tree ice cream guy getting to enjoy all these unique ice creams by himself!!
as a principled leftist, I will wait to comply after the order has been given. it's just the polite thing to do
September 20, 2025 at 12:25 PM
as a principled leftist, I will wait to comply after the order has been given. it's just the polite thing to do
it's 2015. I'm looking at Undertale memes and listening to the Hamilton soundtrack. A portal opens and 2025 jon steps through.
"jimmy kimmel unfairly cancelled," 2025 says.
"wow you're so pretty," 2015 says.
"thank you," 2025 says.
"unfairly?" asks 2015
"yeah. wait wtf are you looking at
"jimmy kimmel unfairly cancelled," 2025 says.
"wow you're so pretty," 2015 says.
"thank you," 2025 says.
"unfairly?" asks 2015
"yeah. wait wtf are you looking at
September 18, 2025 at 3:25 PM
it's 2015. I'm looking at Undertale memes and listening to the Hamilton soundtrack. A portal opens and 2025 jon steps through.
"jimmy kimmel unfairly cancelled," 2025 says.
"wow you're so pretty," 2015 says.
"thank you," 2025 says.
"unfairly?" asks 2015
"yeah. wait wtf are you looking at
"jimmy kimmel unfairly cancelled," 2025 says.
"wow you're so pretty," 2015 says.
"thank you," 2025 says.
"unfairly?" asks 2015
"yeah. wait wtf are you looking at
this argument at least made some sense when the FPS was gaming culture's primary focus but nowadays everyone's talking about Bug Castlevania and Roguelite Poker
After blaming antidepressants and hormone therapy replacement, RFK jr now claims that video games are responsible for the mass shootings.
September 13, 2025 at 1:21 PM
this argument at least made some sense when the FPS was gaming culture's primary focus but nowadays everyone's talking about Bug Castlevania and Roguelite Poker
I'm 48 hours old, and I'm chiming in to say that, politics aside, Political Violence is unacceptable and must be condemned.
In case you hadn't heard, it's a new type of Violence that came out of nowhere. It includes all Violence that is Political, such as the recent Kirkicide, and also other stuff
In case you hadn't heard, it's a new type of Violence that came out of nowhere. It includes all Violence that is Political, such as the recent Kirkicide, and also other stuff
September 11, 2025 at 4:51 PM
I'm 48 hours old, and I'm chiming in to say that, politics aside, Political Violence is unacceptable and must be condemned.
In case you hadn't heard, it's a new type of Violence that came out of nowhere. It includes all Violence that is Political, such as the recent Kirkicide, and also other stuff
In case you hadn't heard, it's a new type of Violence that came out of nowhere. It includes all Violence that is Political, such as the recent Kirkicide, and also other stuff
if I had a dime for every time I heard someone say "I would have two dimes, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice," I would have an annoying number of dimes, like more than I would ever want to carry but not enough to be worth cashing in
August 11, 2025 at 4:46 AM
if I had a dime for every time I heard someone say "I would have two dimes, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice," I would have an annoying number of dimes, like more than I would ever want to carry but not enough to be worth cashing in
Amazon as a service is so extremely cool, truly the pinnacle of modern logistics. Amazon as a company is a vicious and deceptive machine powered by the blood of the poor. It is both a miraculous example of the power of well-organized human labor and a terrible indictment of those who hold that power
August 10, 2025 at 3:06 AM
Amazon as a service is so extremely cool, truly the pinnacle of modern logistics. Amazon as a company is a vicious and deceptive machine powered by the blood of the poor. It is both a miraculous example of the power of well-organized human labor and a terrible indictment of those who hold that power
Reposted by jon
i heeled my inner child, and now i'm only one very tall inner child in a trenchcoat
July 18, 2025 at 7:23 PM
i heeled my inner child, and now i'm only one very tall inner child in a trenchcoat
first they came for the LGBTQ, and I did not speak out, for I only goon to hypno
For those unaware, both Visa and Mastercard have been conquered by evangelical Christian groups who demand, first LGBTQ pornographic creators be debanked, then hypno-porn, and eventually every NSFW creator
Valve just updated their Steam rules to ban content that “may violate rules set by payment processors or banks.” Sounds boring. It’s not. It’s the quiet normalization of financial censorship and it’s going to hurt LGBTQ+ games and devs
July 17, 2025 at 3:17 PM
first they came for the LGBTQ, and I did not speak out, for I only goon to hypno
Reposted by jon
if Paul Revere he would be like "my names Paul he/him, anyway omgggggg not the British coming lmao!!! time to get in your safe space" and the horse woke too
March 25, 2024 at 3:20 PM
if Paul Revere he would be like "my names Paul he/him, anyway omgggggg not the British coming lmao!!! time to get in your safe space" and the horse woke too
I still can't fathom why so many people chose to vote for that Cheeto pervert over Obama. I still believe in a better future where #lawbooks still matter, but this makes me sick to my fucking stomache
July 12, 2025 at 6:42 PM
I still can't fathom why so many people chose to vote for that Cheeto pervert over Obama. I still believe in a better future where #lawbooks still matter, but this makes me sick to my fucking stomache
as a sapiosexual, Substack is my OnlyFans, CuriosityStream is my RedTube, and TEDx is my "goon cave"
July 10, 2025 at 4:13 AM
as a sapiosexual, Substack is my OnlyFans, CuriosityStream is my RedTube, and TEDx is my "goon cave"
today I walked by the janitor and he said "hey man good morning" but he's a mumbler so it sounded like he said "hey Macklemore" thats when I blew his mind with an epic rap about civil rights
July 9, 2025 at 3:36 PM
today I walked by the janitor and he said "hey man good morning" but he's a mumbler so it sounded like he said "hey Macklemore" thats when I blew his mind with an epic rap about civil rights