Chrissy Derbyshire
@chrissyd-comedy.bsky.social
Probably the only comedian to be compared to both Sarah Millican and David Lynch. AMA: https://ngl.link/screenselkie. Creator of the Retro Tat Podcast, co-host of Baffled Old Women (both on long hiatus).
Team building day today. I plan to be egregiously neurodivergent.
November 25, 2025 at 9:05 AM
Team building day today. I plan to be egregiously neurodivergent.
Chrissy Derbyshire Innards WIP out of context:
bovril amphetemines
November 25, 2025 at 9:05 AM
Chrissy Derbyshire Innards WIP out of context:
Just randomly remembered the existence of a Christmas decoration called "angel hair". I hated it as a child, although it was pretty, because it was made of hair-thin threads of fibreglass so you'd get little micro-cuts on your hands when you used it.
November 23, 2025 at 7:48 PM
Just randomly remembered the existence of a Christmas decoration called "angel hair". I hated it as a child, although it was pretty, because it was made of hair-thin threads of fibreglass so you'd get little micro-cuts on your hands when you used it.
Sixteenth birthday party achieved!
November 22, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Sixteenth birthday party achieved!
Me, aged 41, delusionally digging my appearance in the mirror:
November 21, 2025 at 4:31 PM
Me, aged 41, delusionally digging my appearance in the mirror:
Wound up taking a sick day. Just couldn't do it. Gonna have to have an official chat with my boss because it's my fifth one in a year.
November 21, 2025 at 2:35 PM
Wound up taking a sick day. Just couldn't do it. Gonna have to have an official chat with my boss because it's my fifth one in a year.
Got a full work day and then prep for Anwen’s birthday party tomorrow and I’ve got a migraine. Help.
November 21, 2025 at 6:47 AM
Got a full work day and then prep for Anwen’s birthday party tomorrow and I’ve got a migraine. Help.
Lovely synergy on my timeline.
November 20, 2025 at 4:51 PM
Lovely synergy on my timeline.
Found AI-generated wine. I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.
November 19, 2025 at 2:32 PM
Found AI-generated wine. I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.
Imagine how powerful I will be once I snag myself a cute soft man 💪
November 19, 2025 at 11:50 AM
Imagine how powerful I will be once I snag myself a cute soft man 💪
Where's *my* £18m overhaul to rescue me from romantic decay??? 😡
Highgate Cemetery’s plans for an £18 million refurbishment have been approved by Camden Council, allowing the 25-year revitalisation project to get started.
www.ianvisits.co.uk/articles/18m...
www.ianvisits.co.uk/articles/18m...
£18m overhaul approved to rescue Highgate Cemetery from ‘romantic decay’
Highgate Cemetery’s plans for an £18 million refurbishment have been approved by Camden Council, allowing the 25-year revitalisation project to get started.
www.ianvisits.co.uk
November 18, 2025 at 4:29 PM
Where's *my* £18m overhaul to rescue me from romantic decay??? 😡
This carrot is an orphan. This snowman won't see its children this year. Paddington is dying of a wasting disease. Now here's Smack My Bitch Up sung by Katie Melua.
Every Christmas ad in the UK:
How do you feel about…
Old people? *sad* old people?
Babies? Pregnancy! Nostalgia about babies? Children with nostalgia? Um…
Talking vegetables? *sad* talking vegetables? Characters from your childhood books? Talking to babies? Nostalgic babies?
Uh
Um
CRY DAMN YOU, CRY!
How do you feel about…
Old people? *sad* old people?
Babies? Pregnancy! Nostalgia about babies? Children with nostalgia? Um…
Talking vegetables? *sad* talking vegetables? Characters from your childhood books? Talking to babies? Nostalgic babies?
Uh
Um
CRY DAMN YOU, CRY!
November 18, 2025 at 12:01 PM
This carrot is an orphan. This snowman won't see its children this year. Paddington is dying of a wasting disease. Now here's Smack My Bitch Up sung by Katie Melua.
*rapidly losing blood in the waiting room, confident in the knowledge that the doctor will be grateful I did some of the surgery groundwork for him*
Brushing my teeth to see the dentist but not so thoroughly that it seems an attempt to impress the dentist. I’m a criminal mastermind.
November 17, 2025 at 4:23 PM
*rapidly losing blood in the waiting room, confident in the knowledge that the doctor will be grateful I did some of the surgery groundwork for him*
Incorrect scale. The number of laughter is of course 5318008 upside down.
November 16, 2025 at 11:36 PM
Incorrect scale. The number of laughter is of course 5318008 upside down.
It looks like they've both just woken up after a really ill-advised one-night stand.
November 16, 2025 at 7:14 PM
It looks like they've both just woken up after a really ill-advised one-night stand.
If you're in Swansea the week after next...
November 16, 2025 at 1:56 PM
If you're in Swansea the week after next...
Anwen *singing to Bernard*: 🎵That cat is a cat. He is very nice and floofy🎵
Me *joining in*: 🎵He should wear a hat. He would look so fab and groovy🎵
Me *joining in*: 🎵He should wear a hat. He would look so fab and groovy🎵
November 15, 2025 at 8:13 PM
Anwen *singing to Bernard*: 🎵That cat is a cat. He is very nice and floofy🎵
Me *joining in*: 🎵He should wear a hat. He would look so fab and groovy🎵
Me *joining in*: 🎵He should wear a hat. He would look so fab and groovy🎵
Finally getting around to watching the last episode of Taskmaster 🥳
November 15, 2025 at 5:08 PM
Finally getting around to watching the last episode of Taskmaster 🥳
Happy two-year anniversary of this unused bit of "material" to all who celebrate.
November 15, 2025 at 12:11 PM
Happy two-year anniversary of this unused bit of "material" to all who celebrate.
One of my best ever gigs 😍
November 14, 2025 at 10:53 PM
One of my best ever gigs 😍
OH NO YOU CAUGHT ME BANG TO RIGHTS I AM GUILTY OF BEING ADORABLE ☺️
November 14, 2025 at 6:53 PM
OH NO YOU CAUGHT ME BANG TO RIGHTS I AM GUILTY OF BEING ADORABLE ☺️
A chimp with a limp, because I could gift a gibbon with a shiny new ribbon but I am not qualified to perform surgery on a chimpanzee (yet).
November 14, 2025 at 6:51 PM
A chimp with a limp, because I could gift a gibbon with a shiny new ribbon but I am not qualified to perform surgery on a chimpanzee (yet).
I’d go back in time and slap Shakespeare with a Peperami Wide-Boy just to see if it influenced his oeuvre.
November 14, 2025 at 6:32 PM
I’d go back in time and slap Shakespeare with a Peperami Wide-Boy just to see if it influenced his oeuvre.
‘There was a FISH in the PERCOLATOR!’
November 14, 2025 at 6:26 PM
‘There was a FISH in the PERCOLATOR!’
I’ve not gigged in Leicester yet and I’m not familiar with the scene there, but I’m sure some of my friends will jump in here and answer!
November 14, 2025 at 6:25 PM
I’ve not gigged in Leicester yet and I’m not familiar with the scene there, but I’m sure some of my friends will jump in here and answer!