CaramelBeard
@caramelbeard.com
My middle name is “Meh”. I posses the extraordinary ability to make beige look vibrant and interesting by comparison.
As a kid, I thought killer bees were going to be more of a logistical concern when I became an adult.
May 20, 2025 at 2:50 AM
As a kid, I thought killer bees were going to be more of a logistical concern when I became an adult.
I can’t help but feel that if folks directed the same level of outrage they feel about TikTok towards domestic affairs, things could be a lot different here in the US.
January 17, 2025 at 2:26 AM
I can’t help but feel that if folks directed the same level of outrage they feel about TikTok towards domestic affairs, things could be a lot different here in the US.
This app is a mine field of scrote and shaft pics.
Label your shit, weirdos. Not everyone wants to be a part of your kink.
Label your shit, weirdos. Not everyone wants to be a part of your kink.
January 13, 2025 at 3:03 PM
This app is a mine field of scrote and shaft pics.
Label your shit, weirdos. Not everyone wants to be a part of your kink.
Label your shit, weirdos. Not everyone wants to be a part of your kink.
I missed out on the #ReederApp update this year because I didn’t “get it”. I was wrong. I’ve been cutting back on what I consume online, and this app has been excellent at helping me curate the feeds, YouTube channels, and subreddits that I still want to follow.
December 31, 2024 at 5:41 AM
I missed out on the #ReederApp update this year because I didn’t “get it”. I was wrong. I’ve been cutting back on what I consume online, and this app has been excellent at helping me curate the feeds, YouTube channels, and subreddits that I still want to follow.
Reposted by CaramelBeard
Yule-hole [YOOL hohl]
(n.)
-The last hole to which one can stretch their belt at a Christmas dinner. (Shouldn't there be a Thanksgiving hole?)
Sentence:
"This year I need to add a whole new Yule-hole to my belt… or just wear my Yule sweatpants!"
Or
“Blow it out your Yule-hole Uncle Wilfred!”
(n.)
-The last hole to which one can stretch their belt at a Christmas dinner. (Shouldn't there be a Thanksgiving hole?)
Sentence:
"This year I need to add a whole new Yule-hole to my belt… or just wear my Yule sweatpants!"
Or
“Blow it out your Yule-hole Uncle Wilfred!”
December 24, 2024 at 6:03 PM
Yule-hole [YOOL hohl]
(n.)
-The last hole to which one can stretch their belt at a Christmas dinner. (Shouldn't there be a Thanksgiving hole?)
Sentence:
"This year I need to add a whole new Yule-hole to my belt… or just wear my Yule sweatpants!"
Or
“Blow it out your Yule-hole Uncle Wilfred!”
(n.)
-The last hole to which one can stretch their belt at a Christmas dinner. (Shouldn't there be a Thanksgiving hole?)
Sentence:
"This year I need to add a whole new Yule-hole to my belt… or just wear my Yule sweatpants!"
Or
“Blow it out your Yule-hole Uncle Wilfred!”
I’m not sure why, but Instagram seems to think I’m interested in vintage Kraft Miracle Whip recipe videos. Honestly, the food in the 1970s must have been genuinely awful.
December 22, 2024 at 3:43 PM
I’m not sure why, but Instagram seems to think I’m interested in vintage Kraft Miracle Whip recipe videos. Honestly, the food in the 1970s must have been genuinely awful.
Reposted by CaramelBeard
I don't mean this as a defense of the guy: I think Mr Beast gets a lot of hate for doing stuff rich people do all the time but the rest of us just assumed wasn't allowed
December 19, 2024 at 12:15 PM
I don't mean this as a defense of the guy: I think Mr Beast gets a lot of hate for doing stuff rich people do all the time but the rest of us just assumed wasn't allowed
I dislike how inundated with politics/political-adjacent content I am. Like, I'm all about staying informed about what's up, but its all just everywhere. I want it to be something I seek out and can control but it feels like its just everywhere.
December 17, 2024 at 12:32 PM
I dislike how inundated with politics/political-adjacent content I am. Like, I'm all about staying informed about what's up, but its all just everywhere. I want it to be something I seek out and can control but it feels like its just everywhere.
Reposted by CaramelBeard
Call me crazy but I get the feeling this incoming administration isn’t quite on the up-and-up 🤔
December 5, 2024 at 9:42 PM
Call me crazy but I get the feeling this incoming administration isn’t quite on the up-and-up 🤔
I was bored so I asked #ChatGPT to generate a picture of Paul Walker smiling from heaven. Honestly, it turned out better than I expected -- I might have it framed.
December 2, 2024 at 3:43 PM
I was bored so I asked #ChatGPT to generate a picture of Paul Walker smiling from heaven. Honestly, it turned out better than I expected -- I might have it framed.
As I understand it, electric cars are required to make an identifiable sound when moving. How long until we have the equivalent of ringtones for EVs? When should I expect to hear “WAP” or “Lollipop” from EVs driving down the road?
November 23, 2023 at 4:13 PM
As I understand it, electric cars are required to make an identifiable sound when moving. How long until we have the equivalent of ringtones for EVs? When should I expect to hear “WAP” or “Lollipop” from EVs driving down the road?
Remember: we all make mistakes. Even highly trained astronauts make mistakes, like losing a tool bag during a spacewalk.
November 18, 2023 at 2:20 AM
Remember: we all make mistakes. Even highly trained astronauts make mistakes, like losing a tool bag during a spacewalk.
“A Trail of Broken Vaginas” is the title of my upcoming memoir dropping this spring.
October 10, 2023 at 2:32 AM
“A Trail of Broken Vaginas” is the title of my upcoming memoir dropping this spring.
Reposted by CaramelBeard
this is cracking me up man. Am I the troops when I take 500mg of edibles and drink an ultra strawberry dreams to stay awake?
September 11, 2023 at 10:25 PM
this is cracking me up man. Am I the troops when I take 500mg of edibles and drink an ultra strawberry dreams to stay awake?
I go into every bowl of Reese’s Puffs cereal knowing it’s going to absolutely wreck the roof of my mouth — it’s called courage, look it up.
September 6, 2023 at 2:46 AM
I go into every bowl of Reese’s Puffs cereal knowing it’s going to absolutely wreck the roof of my mouth — it’s called courage, look it up.
Reposted by CaramelBeard
wheres pepsi. why cant i talk to doritos and arbys on here. where is the personification of netflix, the streaming service. i want to pass the digital blunt to steakums right FUCKING now
July 7, 2023 at 10:17 AM
wheres pepsi. why cant i talk to doritos and arbys on here. where is the personification of netflix, the streaming service. i want to pass the digital blunt to steakums right FUCKING now
Reposted by CaramelBeard
Threads is a jobs program for social media managers
July 7, 2023 at 1:20 AM
Threads is a jobs program for social media managers
Reposted by CaramelBeard
babe what’s wrong you’ve barely touched your algorithmically cultivated feed of pathologically vain influencers and paid celebs posting what’s up lol eggplant emoji
July 6, 2023 at 9:01 PM
babe what’s wrong you’ve barely touched your algorithmically cultivated feed of pathologically vain influencers and paid celebs posting what’s up lol eggplant emoji
Reposted by CaramelBeard
why, did something happen?
OceanGate suspends all exploration and business operations
OceanGate suspends all exploration and commercial operations after Titan implosion
OceanGate said it is suspending all exploration and commercial operations after five people were killed during its expedition to the Titanic wreckage.
abcnews.go.com
July 6, 2023 at 4:52 PM
why, did something happen?
Why do I have so many social media apps installed?? I don’t even like social media!
July 6, 2023 at 9:56 PM
Why do I have so many social media apps installed?? I don’t even like social media!
Reposted by CaramelBeard
Threads feels like a fake social media network from an open-world game. It’s all the vapid shit that writers clown on when putting something like that into a game, it’s just missing the part where people talk about whatever the fuck Spider-Man did in the last mission.
July 6, 2023 at 7:16 PM
Threads feels like a fake social media network from an open-world game. It’s all the vapid shit that writers clown on when putting something like that into a game, it’s just missing the part where people talk about whatever the fuck Spider-Man did in the last mission.