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A: So he could still cheat on her.
A: So he could still cheat on her.
Then MLK weekend hits and nothing until Memorial Day.
We should do something about that.
Then MLK weekend hits and nothing until Memorial Day.
We should do something about that.
Verizon help desk: sir, please calm down, take it one step at a time and tell me if your modem is working.
Verizon help desk: sir, please calm down, take it one step at a time and tell me if your modem is working.
You’re truly a terrific storyteller.
Any plans for a book about the 25 years of Bullseye with tales like these?
You’re truly a terrific storyteller.
Any plans for a book about the 25 years of Bullseye with tales like these?
I don’t even know what else to say.
I don’t even know what else to say.
Tom Green too busy?
Tom Green too busy?
I settled in for a night of laughs and fired up what I thought was a “Derry Girls” spinoff called “Welcome to Derry”.
Gang, it’s not.
I settled in for a night of laughs and fired up what I thought was a “Derry Girls” spinoff called “Welcome to Derry”.
Gang, it’s not.
I think about Stan Lee coming up with this name when I’m overwhelmed at work.
I think about Stan Lee coming up with this name when I’m overwhelmed at work.
Jack T. Ripper
Jack the Ripper!
Tip: watch Three’s Company and imagine John Ritter as a time traveling Jack the Ripper murdering roommates and dates offscreen during the 70s/80s in Los Angeles.
Jack T. Ripper
Jack the Ripper!
Tip: watch Three’s Company and imagine John Ritter as a time traveling Jack the Ripper murdering roommates and dates offscreen during the 70s/80s in Los Angeles.
Huh? Huh?*
* I have to be the one millionth person to think of this.
Huh? Huh?*
* I have to be the one millionth person to think of this.
Farmer: Hey! Come here and pick apples in my orchard! We have a ton and I want them gone.
Dude: Sure. How much do you pay?
Farmer: Buddy, you’re going to pay me! Your wife will love it!
Dude: Am I missing football?
Farmer: Yup!
Farmer: Hey! Come here and pick apples in my orchard! We have a ton and I want them gone.
Dude: Sure. How much do you pay?
Farmer: Buddy, you’re going to pay me! Your wife will love it!
Dude: Am I missing football?
Farmer: Yup!
I can’t believe real-life adults actually write this dog shit.
I can’t believe real-life adults actually write this dog shit.
Question: what does the Klan serve for dessert?
Question: what does the Klan serve for dessert?
Me (the corpse): I’d like a second opinion.
Me (the corpse): I’d like a second opinion.
Me, the morning after 2 beers in my 40s: gather the children close to me, my time is at an end
Me, the morning after 2 beers in my 40s: gather the children close to me, my time is at an end