🍂 fall bryan 🍂
@bryan.town
retired sock model | my rat name is “patty cake”
he/him
🏳️🌈 🏳️⚧️
he/him
🏳️🌈 🏳️⚧️
spiderman isn’t affiliated with the police and operates exclusively where he lives, so technically he’s a form of neighborhood watch
November 16, 2025 at 1:51 PM
spiderman isn’t affiliated with the police and operates exclusively where he lives, so technically he’s a form of neighborhood watch
I recently had the unfortunate experience of hearing RFK speak for the very first time and: 1) why tf does he sound Like That, 2) it makes the olivia nuzzy article way, way funnier
November 16, 2025 at 1:31 AM
I recently had the unfortunate experience of hearing RFK speak for the very first time and: 1) why tf does he sound Like That, 2) it makes the olivia nuzzy article way, way funnier
can’t believe I don’t have any* food in the house
*only meal-prepped meals that won’t give me any dopamine to eat
*only meal-prepped meals that won’t give me any dopamine to eat
November 16, 2025 at 12:02 AM
can’t believe I don’t have any* food in the house
*only meal-prepped meals that won’t give me any dopamine to eat
*only meal-prepped meals that won’t give me any dopamine to eat
Reposted by 🍂 fall bryan 🍂
ask not for whom the mambo fives
November 15, 2025 at 11:38 PM
ask not for whom the mambo fives
Reposted by 🍂 fall bryan 🍂
Not my ducks, not my row
November 15, 2025 at 8:55 PM
Not my ducks, not my row
it’s time to admit that I can’t read or write, this whole time I’ve just been button mashing. I hope these posts are funny
November 15, 2025 at 8:20 PM
it’s time to admit that I can’t read or write, this whole time I’ve just been button mashing. I hope these posts are funny
the hebrew word “amen” means certainty or truth, so we could just as easily end prayers with “no cap”
November 14, 2025 at 9:30 PM
the hebrew word “amen” means certainty or truth, so we could just as easily end prayers with “no cap”
Reposted by 🍂 fall bryan 🍂
I don’t want to hear any more about ephebophiIia, it’s time we start talking about Elphabaphilia
November 13, 2025 at 10:56 PM
I don’t want to hear any more about ephebophiIia, it’s time we start talking about Elphabaphilia
Reposted by 🍂 fall bryan 🍂
pour one out for nancy reagan losing her title as white house throat goat
November 14, 2025 at 2:42 PM
pour one out for nancy reagan losing her title as white house throat goat
hate winter because my microplastics get all stiff and brittle
November 14, 2025 at 6:08 PM
hate winter because my microplastics get all stiff and brittle
me, a realtor doing a house tour: and in here we have a lovely room just off the main space! now, technically it can’t be sold as a bedroom since there’s no egress window, but it would make a fantastic office or goon cave!
November 13, 2025 at 10:50 PM
me, a realtor doing a house tour: and in here we have a lovely room just off the main space! now, technically it can’t be sold as a bedroom since there’s no egress window, but it would make a fantastic office or goon cave!
if I was president there would be a hotline to a whole bureau of people ready to show up at someone’s house and say “it 👏 is 👏 a 👏 joke 👏 sir”
November 13, 2025 at 6:50 PM
if I was president there would be a hotline to a whole bureau of people ready to show up at someone’s house and say “it 👏 is 👏 a 👏 joke 👏 sir”
Reposted by 🍂 fall bryan 🍂
as President I would issue a badass leather collar to every member of the military which will cost billions and solve no problems but it will look fuckin’ *sick*
July 25, 2023 at 5:40 PM
as President I would issue a badass leather collar to every member of the military which will cost billions and solve no problems but it will look fuckin’ *sick*
all I want for christmas is for the yellowstone supervolcano to *almost* explode (but not really)
November 13, 2025 at 6:48 PM
all I want for christmas is for the yellowstone supervolcano to *almost* explode (but not really)
Reposted by 🍂 fall bryan 🍂
jeffrey epstein won't see your jokes about how poorly written his emails were, but your barely literate friends also won't see them, because they can't read. fire away
November 13, 2025 at 4:55 AM
jeffrey epstein won't see your jokes about how poorly written his emails were, but your barely literate friends also won't see them, because they can't read. fire away
so it turns out the culture of not understanding jokes on bluesky comes right from the top
The account owner of @sarahkendzior.bsky.social was suspended for 72 hours for expressing a desire to shoot the author of an article. The post, made 11/10, stated: "I want to shoot the author of this article just to watch him die." 1/2
November 13, 2025 at 1:14 PM
so it turns out the culture of not understanding jokes on bluesky comes right from the top
headphones aren’t enough I need this music to play inside my skull
November 13, 2025 at 1:08 PM
headphones aren’t enough I need this music to play inside my skull
Reposted by 🍂 fall bryan 🍂
the reason pinnochio's nose grew when he called himself a real boy is because she's actually a girl
November 13, 2025 at 3:34 AM
the reason pinnochio's nose grew when he called himself a real boy is because she's actually a girl
when I die I want my body donated to The Bog
November 12, 2025 at 11:26 PM
when I die I want my body donated to The Bog
[being threatened with the medieval torture device the iron maiden]
me: but can i bring my phone in there?
me: but can i bring my phone in there?
November 12, 2025 at 10:17 PM
[being threatened with the medieval torture device the iron maiden]
me: but can i bring my phone in there?
me: but can i bring my phone in there?
we need a gofundme where people can donate their spare executive function
November 12, 2025 at 9:59 PM
we need a gofundme where people can donate their spare executive function
it’s legal to tell other people’s dogs you love them. no one will stop you
November 12, 2025 at 6:58 PM
it’s legal to tell other people’s dogs you love them. no one will stop you
I feel like if I just click a few more links to confirm my scheduled appointment I’ll experience true happiness. I’m so close, I know it
November 12, 2025 at 6:55 PM
I feel like if I just click a few more links to confirm my scheduled appointment I’ll experience true happiness. I’m so close, I know it
if your board game doesn’t require a bachelor’s degree in applied math or statistics then I’m not interested
November 12, 2025 at 6:51 PM
if your board game doesn’t require a bachelor’s degree in applied math or statistics then I’m not interested
a worm? no, that’s amateur shit. would you still love me if I was an angry canada goose?
November 12, 2025 at 6:48 PM
a worm? no, that’s amateur shit. would you still love me if I was an angry canada goose?