Tom
@boydylloyd.bsky.social
Still not funny. Still not interesting. Still a twat.
he/him
he/him
Going off how long various work colleagues have spent out on a "5 minute" ciggie break down the years that should give you plenty of time for a leisurely stroll to a hospital 3 towns over.
July 7, 2025 at 8:38 PM
Going off how long various work colleagues have spent out on a "5 minute" ciggie break down the years that should give you plenty of time for a leisurely stroll to a hospital 3 towns over.
I know precisely nothing about Canadian politics but the fact the guy who was predicted to be the next PM is now going to lose his seat entirely is fucking hilarious to me.
April 29, 2025 at 1:35 PM
I know precisely nothing about Canadian politics but the fact the guy who was predicted to be the next PM is now going to lose his seat entirely is fucking hilarious to me.
Pulp Fiction
The Godfather
The Godfather
March 2, 2025 at 1:07 PM
Pulp Fiction
The Godfather
The Godfather
Not answering the register on the first day because my name then putting my hand up at the end to say it wasn't called out.
Thomas was & still is only used when I'm in the deepest of deep shit.
I wasn't in the deepest of deep shit so she obviously wasn't calling my name out.
Thomas was & still is only used when I'm in the deepest of deep shit.
I wasn't in the deepest of deep shit so she obviously wasn't calling my name out.
February 12, 2025 at 2:52 PM
Not answering the register on the first day because my name then putting my hand up at the end to say it wasn't called out.
Thomas was & still is only used when I'm in the deepest of deep shit.
I wasn't in the deepest of deep shit so she obviously wasn't calling my name out.
Thomas was & still is only used when I'm in the deepest of deep shit.
I wasn't in the deepest of deep shit so she obviously wasn't calling my name out.
Don't be a dick.
That's it that's all the advice anyone really needs no matter their age.
That's it that's all the advice anyone really needs no matter their age.
January 30, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Don't be a dick.
That's it that's all the advice anyone really needs no matter their age.
That's it that's all the advice anyone really needs no matter their age.
When I was a kid I met a puma on the path at Dartmoor Wildlife Park. As an adult I asked a worker if they'd ever had any escapes & told them of my encounter.
They said no but it was legend among staff that the previous owner was a rewilding nut & had tried releasing several animals over the years.
They said no but it was legend among staff that the previous owner was a rewilding nut & had tried releasing several animals over the years.
I have some questions. How can two adult Lynx be in Scotland without someone knowing that they were here in the first place? Why did someone release them? They were healthy so clearly had been cared for? Wtf?
January 10, 2025 at 1:13 PM
When I was a kid I met a puma on the path at Dartmoor Wildlife Park. As an adult I asked a worker if they'd ever had any escapes & told them of my encounter.
They said no but it was legend among staff that the previous owner was a rewilding nut & had tried releasing several animals over the years.
They said no but it was legend among staff that the previous owner was a rewilding nut & had tried releasing several animals over the years.
Parents, if you ever feel like your kids don't want to be around you just know the boy faked being exhausted so we'd go away then promptly started dancing with his nurse as soon as we left the room.
Fucking arsehole.
Fucking arsehole.
December 25, 2024 at 7:49 PM
Parents, if you ever feel like your kids don't want to be around you just know the boy faked being exhausted so we'd go away then promptly started dancing with his nurse as soon as we left the room.
Fucking arsehole.
Fucking arsehole.
The boy is reliant on us for 100% care, so can't run around interrupting etc.
Last week he was off, in bed, all week with chicken pox whilst I was working full time at home.
I haven't been that exhausted since he was in ICU 5 years ago.
Able bodied kids are not being kept home mr ofsted loser.
Last week he was off, in bed, all week with chicken pox whilst I was working full time at home.
I haven't been that exhausted since he was in ICU 5 years ago.
Able bodied kids are not being kept home mr ofsted loser.
I am going to politely suggest that the Ofsted chief has not tried working from home with children around.
December 5, 2024 at 9:32 PM
The boy is reliant on us for 100% care, so can't run around interrupting etc.
Last week he was off, in bed, all week with chicken pox whilst I was working full time at home.
I haven't been that exhausted since he was in ICU 5 years ago.
Able bodied kids are not being kept home mr ofsted loser.
Last week he was off, in bed, all week with chicken pox whilst I was working full time at home.
I haven't been that exhausted since he was in ICU 5 years ago.
Able bodied kids are not being kept home mr ofsted loser.
Don't threaten us with a good time
December 5, 2024 at 2:37 PM
Don't threaten us with a good time
Introduce yourself with your worst feedback from school:
Take your pick
Hi, I'm Tom & I don't know why I bother showing up as everything seems to go in one ear and out the other.
I'm the single stupidest student she's ever taught.
I seem to take a perverse pleasure in disrupting her lessons.
Take your pick
Hi, I'm Tom & I don't know why I bother showing up as everything seems to go in one ear and out the other.
I'm the single stupidest student she's ever taught.
I seem to take a perverse pleasure in disrupting her lessons.
Introduce yourself with your worst feedback from school:
Hi, I'm András and I'm a smart arse
Hi, I'm András and I'm a smart arse
Introduce yourself with your worst feedback from school:
I am Steve and I show no interest in or aptitude for music, and I will never be a musician.
I am Steve and I show no interest in or aptitude for music, and I will never be a musician.
November 20, 2024 at 6:59 PM
Introduce yourself with your worst feedback from school:
Take your pick
Hi, I'm Tom & I don't know why I bother showing up as everything seems to go in one ear and out the other.
I'm the single stupidest student she's ever taught.
I seem to take a perverse pleasure in disrupting her lessons.
Take your pick
Hi, I'm Tom & I don't know why I bother showing up as everything seems to go in one ear and out the other.
I'm the single stupidest student she's ever taught.
I seem to take a perverse pleasure in disrupting her lessons.
Only really means something to town fans but had Fraser Digby in having a chat with my BSM. Brought the coffees over & my brain completely short circuited. Couldn't even say Latte. Came out with something like Hrslfl, nearly spilled it over him & ran away.
I was 30.
I was 30.
Twitter is doing “best celebrity interactions” discourse so we should do WORST ones
not necessarily like that they were a jerk, just that the interaction itself was a fail on some level
like one time Robert Sean Leonard walked past me and I short-circuited so badly I spilled guacamole on myself
not necessarily like that they were a jerk, just that the interaction itself was a fail on some level
like one time Robert Sean Leonard walked past me and I short-circuited so badly I spilled guacamole on myself
November 19, 2024 at 10:00 AM
Only really means something to town fans but had Fraser Digby in having a chat with my BSM. Brought the coffees over & my brain completely short circuited. Couldn't even say Latte. Came out with something like Hrslfl, nearly spilled it over him & ran away.
I was 30.
I was 30.
She's not on here but I still just want to say my wife absolutely fucking rocks.
2 interviews in 2 weeks & she gets offered both roles before she's even got home.
Everyone else should be very afraid cos she's coming for your jobs & she will get them.
2 interviews in 2 weeks & she gets offered both roles before she's even got home.
Everyone else should be very afraid cos she's coming for your jobs & she will get them.
November 18, 2024 at 6:47 PM
She's not on here but I still just want to say my wife absolutely fucking rocks.
2 interviews in 2 weeks & she gets offered both roles before she's even got home.
Everyone else should be very afraid cos she's coming for your jobs & she will get them.
2 interviews in 2 weeks & she gets offered both roles before she's even got home.
Everyone else should be very afraid cos she's coming for your jobs & she will get them.
Reposted by Tom
Have you blocked the “Politlcs UK” account yet?
Unknown to most, they’re a Tory engagement farm, subtly pushing a narrative.
But pretending to be an impartial news source.
Let’s nip them in the bud, and not give them the amplification they need.
Share this, and BLOCK.
The evidence..
Unknown to most, they’re a Tory engagement farm, subtly pushing a narrative.
But pretending to be an impartial news source.
Let’s nip them in the bud, and not give them the amplification they need.
Share this, and BLOCK.
The evidence..
November 17, 2024 at 6:40 PM
Have you blocked the “Politlcs UK” account yet?
Unknown to most, they’re a Tory engagement farm, subtly pushing a narrative.
But pretending to be an impartial news source.
Let’s nip them in the bud, and not give them the amplification they need.
Share this, and BLOCK.
The evidence..
Unknown to most, they’re a Tory engagement farm, subtly pushing a narrative.
But pretending to be an impartial news source.
Let’s nip them in the bud, and not give them the amplification they need.
Share this, and BLOCK.
The evidence..
Told the DJ in some random bar in Ibiza his set was better than the utter fucking shit Pete Tong served up in Pacha the night before.
Yeah, we all know who the DJ was.
I still maintain his work in progress was better than the utter fucking shit he'd served up the night before.
Yeah, we all know who the DJ was.
I still maintain his work in progress was better than the utter fucking shit he'd served up the night before.
Popped into Thomas's Chop House mid week after lunch. Pete Postlethwaite was sitting having a quiet pint reading the paper, my brain told me I knew this guy, probably an old regular of mine, so i went 'hiya Pete, you ok'
I once saw Lee Mead looking at the train/time/platform board at Charing Cross Station.
November 14, 2024 at 11:02 AM
Told the DJ in some random bar in Ibiza his set was better than the utter fucking shit Pete Tong served up in Pacha the night before.
Yeah, we all know who the DJ was.
I still maintain his work in progress was better than the utter fucking shit he'd served up the night before.
Yeah, we all know who the DJ was.
I still maintain his work in progress was better than the utter fucking shit he'd served up the night before.
I fuck off to Bavaria for a few days and come back to learn the church of England has imploded.
How long do I need to go back to take out the rest of the country? This is a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
How long do I need to go back to take out the rest of the country? This is a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
November 13, 2024 at 10:51 AM
I fuck off to Bavaria for a few days and come back to learn the church of England has imploded.
How long do I need to go back to take out the rest of the country? This is a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
How long do I need to go back to take out the rest of the country? This is a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
Bluesky now has over 10 million users, and I was #432,764!
And my feed is still not overrun with terfs & nazis.
And my feed is still not overrun with terfs & nazis.
September 17, 2024 at 10:04 AM
Bluesky now has over 10 million users, and I was #432,764!
And my feed is still not overrun with terfs & nazis.
And my feed is still not overrun with terfs & nazis.
The wife is now officially the little old lady who falls for scam phone calls.
I will be mocking her for a while I think.
I will be mocking her for a while I think.
September 15, 2024 at 3:29 PM
The wife is now officially the little old lady who falls for scam phone calls.
I will be mocking her for a while I think.
I will be mocking her for a while I think.
Royal Blood, followed by Iggy Pop who you could see getting more fucked up as the drugs kicked in.
Then later in the night Roger Taylor & John Paul Jones joined the Foo Fighters to perform Under Pressure as it was Freddie Mercury's birthday & Queen had been the first band to perform at MK Bowl.
Then later in the night Roger Taylor & John Paul Jones joined the Foo Fighters to perform Under Pressure as it was Freddie Mercury's birthday & Queen had been the first band to perform at MK Bowl.
Unpopular opinion: People listing the first band they saw in concert should name the opening act for the first band they saw in concert, assuming they arrived on time for that.
August 29, 2024 at 3:22 PM
Royal Blood, followed by Iggy Pop who you could see getting more fucked up as the drugs kicked in.
Then later in the night Roger Taylor & John Paul Jones joined the Foo Fighters to perform Under Pressure as it was Freddie Mercury's birthday & Queen had been the first band to perform at MK Bowl.
Then later in the night Roger Taylor & John Paul Jones joined the Foo Fighters to perform Under Pressure as it was Freddie Mercury's birthday & Queen had been the first band to perform at MK Bowl.
The KGB got me out of trouble with my dad by bringing the guy who'd stolen his jacket over to us.
Boris Johnson came into the room, stood next to me and immediately seemed to recognise me. He drew out his penis and continued to urinate whilst talking at me, convinced he knew me from somewhere recently. Myself, also mid urination, was unable to disengage from the awkward moment.
August 29, 2024 at 1:24 PM
The KGB got me out of trouble with my dad by bringing the guy who'd stolen his jacket over to us.
How I landed on bluesky
August 25, 2024 at 10:24 AM
How I landed on bluesky
Your campaign slogan is:
Your last name: Last text you sent.
Here's mine.
Lloyd: The first show is just 3 hours of them trying to kill each other.
Your last name: Last text you sent.
Here's mine.
Lloyd: The first show is just 3 hours of them trying to kill each other.
August 16, 2024 at 9:26 AM
Your campaign slogan is:
Your last name: Last text you sent.
Here's mine.
Lloyd: The first show is just 3 hours of them trying to kill each other.
Your last name: Last text you sent.
Here's mine.
Lloyd: The first show is just 3 hours of them trying to kill each other.
Just seen an ad for an investment site that used entirely AI images of "investors" from all over the world.
What the hell sort of idiot is seeing that & going I can definitely trust this company that can't even afford to use actors when flogging their crap?
What the hell sort of idiot is seeing that & going I can definitely trust this company that can't even afford to use actors when flogging their crap?
August 2, 2024 at 11:41 AM
Just seen an ad for an investment site that used entirely AI images of "investors" from all over the world.
What the hell sort of idiot is seeing that & going I can definitely trust this company that can't even afford to use actors when flogging their crap?
What the hell sort of idiot is seeing that & going I can definitely trust this company that can't even afford to use actors when flogging their crap?
No you’re nearly 40 and spent 15 minutes laughing at Rhino wang on a nice family day out.
March 5, 2024 at 10:24 PM
No you’re nearly 40 and spent 15 minutes laughing at Rhino wang on a nice family day out.