“I scream, you scream, we all scream because mom said it’s time to go home from the park.”

- Kids

My 6yo said that kids don’t have to pay for things so I asked him how I could be a kid again. He told me the only way was to exercise.

I didn't know that every single household item could be used dangerously until I had a toddler. Like they will wreak some havoc with just a dish towel. Nothing is safe.

I’m a mom, my hobbies include: cleaning, asking people to stop making a mess, asking people to help me clean, asking people if they can hear me asking them to stop making messes and help me clean.

If you want your husband to enthusiastically jump at the opportunity to run all the errands, have kids.

The word subpoena really has some issues

I saw one of my son’s friends arrive at kindergarten in a white t-shirt this morning and I can guarantee that shirt will not be white at the end of the day

Quick question, how much Ibuprofen would you suggest for “almost 40 and stood up for an entire 3 1/2 hour Taylor Swift concert?”