beeves
beeves.bsky.social
beeves
@beeves.bsky.social
jockbra you skunkpits you're wearin' a brapits you skunkbra pits
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Bubbles Antiques
Marvell, AR
December 24, 2025 at 12:45 AM
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[first day as a shepherd]

boss: where are you going?

me: [pointing] star

boss: what? why

me: [shrugging] baby
December 23, 2025 at 1:24 AM
oh for sure this is better than healthcare and i definitely asked for this specifically by name. jesus christ what a stupid life.
December 23, 2025 at 12:52 AM
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December 21, 2025 at 7:03 AM
i like when people ask you for help and when you answer and they don't understand what you mean they just start panic talking over you and won't stop talking long enough for you to clarify and then walk away in the middle of the conversation
December 20, 2025 at 10:29 PM
by golly i've been laughing all day watching that dumb fucker get his face rearranged
December 20, 2025 at 10:13 PM
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Terrifying headline if you don’t realize they are sports teams.
December 19, 2025 at 4:37 PM
AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WANNA BE AT THE RNC

www.youtube.com/shorts/09Nan...
I Wanna Be at the RNC
YouTube video by Nick Lutsko
www.youtube.com
December 17, 2025 at 8:33 PM
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December 16, 2025 at 4:17 PM
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December 16, 2025 at 12:39 AM
i absolutely cannot fucking stand myself about 95% of the time
December 14, 2025 at 9:12 PM
Ken Jennings going for at least three jugulars with one swipe
The most compelling argument for this is that Sam was once a baby raised without ChatGPT, and look how he turned out.
FALLON: “And do you use ChatGPT when raising your baby?"

ALTMAN: "I cannot imagine figuring out how to raise a newborn without ChatGPT."

@moreperfectunion.bsky.social
December 10, 2025 at 4:00 AM
*jams the stupid machine into high gear and slams the pedal to the floor*
This mixed metaphor is killing me.
December 9, 2025 at 9:47 PM
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My wife, a prodigious sleep-talker, failed to disclose her affliction when we started dating, which led to the fright of my life the night she sat bolt upright in bed and in a low flat monotone loudly declared that “THIRTEEN BABIES REMAIN UNFATHERED.”
June 11, 2024 at 11:35 PM
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Everyone imitates Tolkien all the time except when it comes to the one way it would really matter: making the protagonist of your novel for children a short, fat, 50-year-old man who doesn't want to do anything.
December 9, 2025 at 2:40 AM
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The bones of Santa have been leaking liquid for 1,700 years.
December 8, 2025 at 3:05 AM
this happens more often than i expected it to
they should just give me free magic cards
December 8, 2025 at 5:42 PM
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Art by • Ricardo León Cordero
December 8, 2025 at 12:55 AM
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December 6, 2025 at 11:36 AM
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December 6, 2025 at 1:31 AM
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Chicken wads
December 4, 2025 at 9:43 PM
I'm so tired of these fucking freaks just doing and saying whatever and nothing ever happening to them?
December 4, 2025 at 5:07 AM
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They should do MyChart Wrapped
December 3, 2025 at 10:13 PM
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I can't listen to the song without thinking of
December 3, 2025 at 9:20 PM