They're saying "Here comes the airplane" when you can see plain as day that it's a spoon. They're playing you for a fool. They're laughing at you

Nice argument. Unfortunately for you, I have already portrayed myself as the $1.50 gigantic Costco hot dog and you as the $7.49 pathetic Five Guys hot dog

The notion that Trump's "I'm king" tweet is "just trolling" or "a joke" presents an opportunity to recreate my just-joking thread (porting it over from the Bad Place):

1. I wrote my PhD dissertation on the social function of humor (in literature & film) and here's the thing about "just joking."

REVEALED: we identified the operator of an overtly racist X account, "GlomarResponder," as ICE Assistant Chief Counsel James Rodden, based on an overwhelming number of biographical details matched through publicly available documents, other social media activity, and courtroom observation.

Bisexuality was so new in 1995 that they hadn't yet invented bisexual lighting, and so were forced to light bisexuals as if they were b movie villains

My six year old is going through a phase where he’s talking like an NPC in a video game. There’s really no other way to describe it. Today we were out and he needed to go to the bathroom and he said “Looks like we’re in luck. There are toilets up ahead.”

if your beans didn't soften while cooking it's not because you salted too early. it's not because you added too much acid. it's not because the beans are too old. it's because you're impure of heart and the beans Know

I sincerely don’t know why people aren’t physically stopping those dorks. Move shit. Lock doors. Lose the keys. Everyone switch seats. Turn off all the lights. Switch the signs on the elevator lobby. Make the settings all silly. Use a different language. Wear costumes. Fill rooms with balloons

Seeing an ipad baby - no, this is not good

Seeing a cat watching the television - incredible, you are like a little man