GARY: How about a hive?
CHAIRMAN: I don't know why, but I like it.
ME: *crumpling my note that says 'Stingdom'* Fuck you Gary
GARY: How about a hive?
CHAIRMAN: I don't know why, but I like it.
ME: *crumpling my note that says 'Stingdom'* Fuck you Gary
her: over my dead body
me: that’s the spirit
her: over my dead body
me: that’s the spirit
WIFE: pterodactyls are extinct
ME: yeah you can’t smell them either
WIFE: pterodactyls are extinct
ME: yeah you can’t smell them either
Trump’s executive order will hurt kids and parents in virtually every school district in the country.
Trump’s executive order will hurt kids and parents in virtually every school district in the country.
best friend: I mean, clearly
best friend: I mean, clearly
chimp: *signs back*
reporter: how long did it take him to learn that?
chimp: years
chimp: *signs back*
reporter: how long did it take him to learn that?
chimp: years
her: we should have dinner again
me: no thanks, I'm full
her: we should have dinner again
me: no thanks, I'm full
me: before rush hour, smart move
me: before rush hour, smart move
Me: We don't talk about thermodynamics
Me: We don't talk about thermodynamics
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
WIFE: Can you stop using the word 'awesome'.
WIFE: Can you stop using the word 'awesome'.