have we tried unplugging this season and plugging it back in

I like people… just in very small, manageable doses, preferably through a screen

I love the mass delusion we all enter during big brother preseason, where we convince ourselves we actually like this show, as if we won’t spend the next 3 months complaining and acting like Allison Grodner is holding us at gunpoint forcing us to watch

Me anywhere: Ugh there are people here

They stopped making ghosts just after the civil war. You’ll never see a ghost with a man bun or hitting a juul

Standing perfectly still so I don't accidentally spend money

hey all! just a heads-up for you in case you missed it. on november 27th, 1905 in ionia, michigan, a wagon full of hay drove by. and then later some guy stood around for a while

*brings therapist to family gathering*

Me: See?

Therapist: ᵒʰ ᵐʸ ᵍᵒᵈ