Pinned
Hans
@amishgrindset.bsky.social
· Jun 21
ok so first you take a left when you hear the healing waters of the crystal clear babbling brook and then go straight until you hit the forlorn mountains where fierce winds go to rest and then you’ll want to take a left at the silent prairies where the twilight kisses the sweetgrass
imagining Randy Fine just making out with the Western Wall, just slobbering all over it and sticking his tongue in the crevices
July 17, 2025 at 10:35 PM
imagining Randy Fine just making out with the Western Wall, just slobbering all over it and sticking his tongue in the crevices
doing the softest launch of all time where I post a single strand of hair left on the kitchen table or a shadow of a pinky finger
July 17, 2025 at 10:16 PM
doing the softest launch of all time where I post a single strand of hair left on the kitchen table or a shadow of a pinky finger
Soft launching the murder I committed by sending several fingers to the police
July 9, 2025 at 11:04 AM
Soft launching the murder I committed by sending several fingers to the police
Reposted by Hans
adding miniature axe throwing bars and cake pop food trucks to my 2017-themed h.o. scale model train set
June 30, 2025 at 1:50 AM
adding miniature axe throwing bars and cake pop food trucks to my 2017-themed h.o. scale model train set
we will never test our soaps and detergent on any extraterrestrial life if it arrives. And that’s a promise.
June 29, 2025 at 4:24 PM
we will never test our soaps and detergent on any extraterrestrial life if it arrives. And that’s a promise.
Reposted by Hans
my room-mates are 20 fruit flies and i hate them. they're always sending me instagram reels that don't make any sense to me. the last one was just that tiktok voice saying "eat da yogurt" over and over
June 26, 2025 at 6:55 PM
my room-mates are 20 fruit flies and i hate them. they're always sending me instagram reels that don't make any sense to me. the last one was just that tiktok voice saying "eat da yogurt" over and over
Reposted by Hans
State Transport officials have announced that all bike lanes are to be formally reclassified as "scurryways". Requests for further detail are to be directed to "The Chittering".
June 26, 2025 at 8:05 PM
State Transport officials have announced that all bike lanes are to be formally reclassified as "scurryways". Requests for further detail are to be directed to "The Chittering".
pick me kitchen oil fire: I straight up hate water lol, you wouldn’t initially expect from looking at me but if you threw it on me I’d immediately extinguish 😱 haha
June 26, 2025 at 11:21 PM
pick me kitchen oil fire: I straight up hate water lol, you wouldn’t initially expect from looking at me but if you threw it on me I’d immediately extinguish 😱 haha
pick me YIMBY: I’m maybe the chillest suburbanite lmfao, I straight up wouldn’t care if you built a light rail that only transports used needles directly through my home like it’s Chongqing
June 26, 2025 at 11:10 PM
pick me YIMBY: I’m maybe the chillest suburbanite lmfao, I straight up wouldn’t care if you built a light rail that only transports used needles directly through my home like it’s Chongqing
Reposted by Hans
Comrade Zohran Mamdani must immediately begin rounding up petite bourgeois, landlords, anarchists, and other counter-revolutionaries, and supply arms and material to the Liberation Forces dug into the forests of Vermont and Minnesota.
June 25, 2025 at 2:18 AM
Comrade Zohran Mamdani must immediately begin rounding up petite bourgeois, landlords, anarchists, and other counter-revolutionaries, and supply arms and material to the Liberation Forces dug into the forests of Vermont and Minnesota.
playing a game of would you rather and asking them if they’d rather be an uncle or an aunt
June 26, 2025 at 11:05 PM
playing a game of would you rather and asking them if they’d rather be an uncle or an aunt
Pick me extremophile: yeah I fucking hate hypersaline environments, I actually grow best in 40° C and low radiation environments lol
June 17, 2025 at 3:54 PM
Pick me extremophile: yeah I fucking hate hypersaline environments, I actually grow best in 40° C and low radiation environments lol
crashing my car into the goodwill donation garage door and asking them if they want the whole thing
June 15, 2025 at 5:06 PM
crashing my car into the goodwill donation garage door and asking them if they want the whole thing
pick me minor deity: it’s chill that you forgot my spring festival and forgot to put offerings on my shrine… quality time and gift giving are my two lowest ranking love languages….
June 14, 2025 at 4:02 PM
pick me minor deity: it’s chill that you forgot my spring festival and forgot to put offerings on my shrine… quality time and gift giving are my two lowest ranking love languages….
we used to have the golden standard…now we don’t even follow the golden rule
June 7, 2025 at 8:20 AM
we used to have the golden standard…now we don’t even follow the golden rule
Centrifuge bachelor party was ruined because Eric gained 30 pounds since December
June 7, 2025 at 8:13 AM
Centrifuge bachelor party was ruined because Eric gained 30 pounds since December
got promoted from court eunuch to court jester. They’re giving me my balls back 🥳
June 7, 2025 at 8:07 AM
got promoted from court eunuch to court jester. They’re giving me my balls back 🥳
when I do bird impressions I’m doing it in a mocking way like when racist people imitate a foreign accent
June 7, 2025 at 8:03 AM
when I do bird impressions I’m doing it in a mocking way like when racist people imitate a foreign accent
wearing the brand Tapout is asking to lose a fight if you ask me
June 7, 2025 at 7:50 AM
wearing the brand Tapout is asking to lose a fight if you ask me
that one nonchalant polyglot on the Tower of Babel: hand me another brick brother
June 7, 2025 at 7:48 AM
that one nonchalant polyglot on the Tower of Babel: hand me another brick brother
referring to every resident of my apartment building as my roommate
June 4, 2025 at 8:55 PM
referring to every resident of my apartment building as my roommate
bloodletting? what are we letting the blood do?
May 31, 2025 at 2:51 PM
bloodletting? what are we letting the blood do?
I’ve been linking up with nature
May 29, 2025 at 2:18 PM
I’ve been linking up with nature
Reposted by Hans
i wish i could go on roe rogans podcast tv show and convinve him to microwave a fork
May 26, 2025 at 2:14 AM
i wish i could go on roe rogans podcast tv show and convinve him to microwave a fork