Pinned
Alex Carbajal
@alexcarbajal.bsky.social
· Nov 12
“Your face is crooked!” After carefully examining my face, a doctor once said this to me. The doctor was an attractive, young woman. That doesn’t matter. Only, at the time, it totally did.
Reposted by Alex Carbajal
Hell is gonna run out of special places.
January 9, 2026 at 1:05 AM
Hell is gonna run out of special places.
Reposted by Alex Carbajal
I like Presidents who don’t shit their pants in public
February 2, 2026 at 1:02 PM
I like Presidents who don’t shit their pants in public
Reposted by Alex Carbajal
You gotta hand it to Nicorette—using packaging that’s nearly impossible to open when you’re stressed is a pretty solid bit
January 19, 2026 at 7:19 PM
You gotta hand it to Nicorette—using packaging that’s nearly impossible to open when you’re stressed is a pretty solid bit
Reposted by Alex Carbajal
Rent should be 10% less in February.
February 2, 2026 at 2:48 PM
Rent should be 10% less in February.
Reposted by Alex Carbajal
Don’t kid yourself, Kamala Harris would also have also forced Jeff Bezos make a $ 75 million documentary of Melania Trump.
February 2, 2026 at 4:17 PM
Don’t kid yourself, Kamala Harris would also have also forced Jeff Bezos make a $ 75 million documentary of Melania Trump.
If I was a betting man, I’d be betting, man.
February 3, 2026 at 12:05 AM
If I was a betting man, I’d be betting, man.
Shout out to all the women who treat each date like a job interview. I’m sure that “no fun/all business” attitude has nothing to do with why you’re still single.
January 25, 2026 at 12:41 AM
Shout out to all the women who treat each date like a job interview. I’m sure that “no fun/all business” attitude has nothing to do with why you’re still single.
December 14, 2025 at 3:27 AM
“It’s getting cold in here, so put on all your clothes.” - a negative nelly
August 1, 2025 at 11:13 AM
“It’s getting cold in here, so put on all your clothes.” - a negative nelly
Instagram is seriously overestimating how much video I want to see of men getting their haircut.
July 27, 2025 at 10:06 AM
Instagram is seriously overestimating how much video I want to see of men getting their haircut.
The wrong “Huxtable” died.
July 22, 2025 at 9:47 AM
The wrong “Huxtable” died.
Never trust anyone over 30 (days old).
July 1, 2025 at 8:48 PM
Never trust anyone over 30 (days old).
party some of the time
party some of the time
My girl wants to party some of the time.
June 21, 2025 at 10:41 AM
party some of the time
party some of the time
My girl wants to party some of the time.
June 21, 2025 at 10:40 AM
party some of the time
My girl wants to party some of the time.
June 21, 2025 at 10:40 AM
My girl wants to party some of the time.
"Pandas" backwards is "sad nap.” That's all for now.
June 10, 2025 at 10:10 AM
"Pandas" backwards is "sad nap.” That's all for now.
Constipated people don’t give a shit.
June 2, 2025 at 7:52 PM
Constipated people don’t give a shit.
Dreamt my favorite porn star died. Woke up with mourning wood.
June 2, 2025 at 4:24 PM
Dreamt my favorite porn star died. Woke up with mourning wood.
Los Angeles will keep you dehydrated just by keeping you in fear of having to pee in neighborhoods where a-hole businesses won’t let you use their bathroom.
May 28, 2025 at 1:20 PM
Los Angeles will keep you dehydrated just by keeping you in fear of having to pee in neighborhoods where a-hole businesses won’t let you use their bathroom.
“But, hey, who am I to judge?,” said the judge.
May 19, 2025 at 8:19 AM
“But, hey, who am I to judge?,” said the judge.
Somebody should tell that guy there’s already a rap album called “God Loves Ugly.” August 8th. It’s not too late.
May 9, 2025 at 11:20 AM
Somebody should tell that guy there’s already a rap album called “God Loves Ugly.” August 8th. It’s not too late.
“I wouldn’t say that.”
“You wouldn’t say that because it’d get you in trouble, not because you’re not thinking it.”
“You wouldn’t say that because it’d get you in trouble, not because you’re not thinking it.”
May 9, 2025 at 11:18 AM
“I wouldn’t say that.”
“You wouldn’t say that because it’d get you in trouble, not because you’re not thinking it.”
“You wouldn’t say that because it’d get you in trouble, not because you’re not thinking it.”
Just met Ed Begley Jr. on the bus. Living in Los Angeles is… interesting.
May 8, 2025 at 10:10 PM
Just met Ed Begley Jr. on the bus. Living in Los Angeles is… interesting.
Why was it called The Breakfast Club? Wasn’t nobody having breakfast during that movie.
May 6, 2025 at 9:45 PM
Why was it called The Breakfast Club? Wasn’t nobody having breakfast during that movie.