Kwake
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akwake.bsky.social
Kwake
@akwake.bsky.social
Actor, writer, musician, he/him/they/them. Pan and polyam. About as much of an 80s kid as possible, being born in 1980.
Reposted by Kwake
Lysistrata opens on Friday, we run for three weeks, and if you want to do me a solid, you'll come and watch it and enjoy it. It's been a LOT of hard work, it's about smashing the patriarchy, it's raunchy, it's hilarious, there are glitter erections and we NEED BUTTS IN SEATS!
January 21, 2025 at 3:08 PM
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December 15, 2024 at 9:26 PM
So, for some reason, I won't go into the reason but you could probably figure it out, my brain came up with a new term for the results of delving too greedily and too deep: a Bowel-rog. If this ever caught on, I'm not sure if I would or wouldn't want credit
March 29, 2024 at 7:30 AM
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My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called "Hogfather" 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit.

5 minutes later: dude I swear I just had a full conversation with a rat skeleton

My buddy Teatime pacing: the tooth fairy is lying to us
December 23, 2023 at 9:41 PM
Hmm, 1986, Asimov, Foundation and Earth. Sad how this has become even more accurate
September 22, 2023 at 3:58 AM
When I made dinner tonight, I was not expecting what I ended up with. I sautéed onions, added a tempura sauce base (for soy sauce), some lemon juice, ground beef, beer, cooked it down. Added cheese (two kinds of cheddar) and elbow noodles. I had made homemade Hamburger Helper. It was tasty though.
September 22, 2023 at 2:57 AM
Holy shit! Looking at memories from the book of face for today, and it's the 3rd Anniversary of when I first heard of @cknightwrites.bsky.social because of the story of the neighbor's kid. Later they became editor for @probablyacryptid.elikwake.com
September 13, 2023 at 10:54 PM
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Brassica xkcd.com/2827
September 11, 2023 at 11:57 PM
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I'm sure some people might object to 9/11 jokes but to be fair I don't think any joke will be quite as disrespectful as *everything that happened in America following 9/11*.
September 11, 2023 at 7:17 AM
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trans women are so fucking cute, pass it on 😘
September 9, 2023 at 11:36 PM
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Eastern Tiger Swallowtail

Feeling marginally better today, so I spent some time in the garden with the Z8 and some fast glass and got this.
August 21, 2023 at 11:27 PM
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Brown Pelican a fraction of a second before impact

More images of diving pelicans from today's road trip along Mobile Bay, along with technical info, on my Instagram: instagram.com/stonekettle/
September 4, 2023 at 11:29 PM
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A Red-Mantled Saddlebags Dragonfly in the bright noon sun

Fort Pickens nature trail, Santa Rosa Island, Florida.
September 7, 2023 at 11:48 PM
These little scissors are quite possibly the best purchase I ever made. I bought them in 1995 or 1996 for $2.99, and I have used them ever since, including for trimming my mustache for the last 18 years or so.
September 9, 2023 at 4:01 AM
I spend much of my life in a state of ?!?!?.
September 8, 2023 at 9:49 PM
I did not expect it to be so difficult to find something to act as the weighted filler for a homemade weighted blanket. So far it seems like the cheapest option that isn't sharp and pointy is pennies, because I can get 22 pounds for 40 bucks and they'll lay flat
September 8, 2023 at 7:03 AM
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994 books still to sell
994 books

Reskeet the skeet, Gatorade drink

994 books still to sell
Here's the deal: I'm broke. Like really badly broke. No jobs, we've been trying, but no one is hiring us so far

So I need to sell books and I need to sell them now

If I can sell 1000 books by the end of the year, I will start an OnlyFans

Get buying, folks: ko-fi.com/elikwakeauth...
Visit Eli Kwake's Ko-fi Shop!
I've opened a Ko-fi shop. Come take a look!
ko-fi.com
September 4, 2023 at 10:29 PM
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I love Pedro Pascal.
September 7, 2023 at 6:00 PM
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It costs 0$ to Repost a Black disabled queer small business! It could lead to my next sale.

My latest sliding pin is out now! The energy level sliding pin is 2.5 inches and the battery slides! There's only a limited amount! So get yours soon!

Store details below!
September 6, 2023 at 8:03 PM