Arends
@aarendsvark.bsky.social
Broaching new frontiers in time wasting
I’m a Midwest transplant to Seattle. I work for a non-profit law office, play ultimate a bunch, and am much more of a stereotypical dad than I’m comfortable with.
I’m a Midwest transplant to Seattle. I work for a non-profit law office, play ultimate a bunch, and am much more of a stereotypical dad than I’m comfortable with.
I know I shouldn’t be petty, but it brings me joy when the dishwasher can’t get the colander clean either.
November 9, 2025 at 3:35 PM
I know I shouldn’t be petty, but it brings me joy when the dishwasher can’t get the colander clean either.
I’m not sure to what extent the food scientists behind nerds gummy clusters knew they were making something that looks like technicolor litter encrusted cat turds, but they nailed it.
November 8, 2025 at 1:40 AM
I’m not sure to what extent the food scientists behind nerds gummy clusters knew they were making something that looks like technicolor litter encrusted cat turds, but they nailed it.
Reposted by Arends
Heartened by the return of one of the classic Trump bits, which is when he sways faintly and says "I'd like to see low IQ [person of color he saw on TV] try to pass the test that's regularly administered to me by medical professionals, the famous unbeatable Test To Determine Extent Of Brain Trauma,"
October 27, 2025 at 4:58 PM
Heartened by the return of one of the classic Trump bits, which is when he sways faintly and says "I'd like to see low IQ [person of color he saw on TV] try to pass the test that's regularly administered to me by medical professionals, the famous unbeatable Test To Determine Extent Of Brain Trauma,"
I like to think of myself as fixed in determination, but I know that in my darkest of hearts, I would eat a 24 pack of Arby’s steak nuggets if ever they were before me.
October 23, 2025 at 5:27 PM
I like to think of myself as fixed in determination, but I know that in my darkest of hearts, I would eat a 24 pack of Arby’s steak nuggets if ever they were before me.
Reposted by Arends
There was a remarkable moment in the budget committee just now where Sara Nelson asked about how arts funding is used for graffiti, as shown in this slide.
City staff outright admitted this is just the dedicated admissions tax that funds the Arts and Culture dept being diverted for graffiti.
City staff outright admitted this is just the dedicated admissions tax that funds the Arts and Culture dept being diverted for graffiti.
October 15, 2025 at 6:01 PM
There was a remarkable moment in the budget committee just now where Sara Nelson asked about how arts funding is used for graffiti, as shown in this slide.
City staff outright admitted this is just the dedicated admissions tax that funds the Arts and Culture dept being diverted for graffiti.
City staff outright admitted this is just the dedicated admissions tax that funds the Arts and Culture dept being diverted for graffiti.
I love coleslaw on a sandwich, but it does reduce the distance I can travel before eating it down to about 12 feet.
October 14, 2025 at 8:50 PM
I love coleslaw on a sandwich, but it does reduce the distance I can travel before eating it down to about 12 feet.
I’m not laughing - this guy can’t even buffoon right.
Missed this while typing: Harrell told the crowd, which was not giggling, "You can giggle if you want, but 18% of Americans are homeless." This is not true.
October 9, 2025 at 3:08 AM
I’m not laughing - this guy can’t even buffoon right.
Reposted by Arends
I'm just leaving this open and playing audio in a separate browser tab. At some point MF Doom is going to start rapping over it.
September 30, 2025 at 7:21 PM
I'm just leaving this open and playing audio in a separate browser tab. At some point MF Doom is going to start rapping over it.
One of the problems with losing your partners trust is that you’re less likely to be believed even when there’s a perfectly good explanation for why the house smells like mackerel.
September 21, 2025 at 7:23 PM
One of the problems with losing your partners trust is that you’re less likely to be believed even when there’s a perfectly good explanation for why the house smells like mackerel.
Consumed with questions about the 70s shark cartoon “Misterjaw,” which appears to have been animated before a live studio audience.
July 4, 2025 at 1:27 AM
Consumed with questions about the 70s shark cartoon “Misterjaw,” which appears to have been animated before a live studio audience.
Reposted by Arends
Childless Couple Asked to Leave Columbia City Farmers Market: tinyurl.com/26j6ad6r
July 3, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Childless Couple Asked to Leave Columbia City Farmers Market: tinyurl.com/26j6ad6r
How often do we think at least one of the Enterprise’s brigs was occupied by a crew member who’d gone hog wild in the holodeck?
May 25, 2025 at 4:28 AM
How often do we think at least one of the Enterprise’s brigs was occupied by a crew member who’d gone hog wild in the holodeck?
One cheese pizza - basic
Two cheese pizza - good
Three cheese pizza - great
Four cheese pizza - can you tell?
Five cheese pizza - stop
Six cheese pizza - it’s collapsing
Seven cheese pizza - welcome to Wisconsin.
Two cheese pizza - good
Three cheese pizza - great
Four cheese pizza - can you tell?
Five cheese pizza - stop
Six cheese pizza - it’s collapsing
Seven cheese pizza - welcome to Wisconsin.
May 15, 2025 at 12:57 AM
One cheese pizza - basic
Two cheese pizza - good
Three cheese pizza - great
Four cheese pizza - can you tell?
Five cheese pizza - stop
Six cheese pizza - it’s collapsing
Seven cheese pizza - welcome to Wisconsin.
Two cheese pizza - good
Three cheese pizza - great
Four cheese pizza - can you tell?
Five cheese pizza - stop
Six cheese pizza - it’s collapsing
Seven cheese pizza - welcome to Wisconsin.
Reposted by Arends
This is about John Fetterman, and true, but it's funny that seeing it out of context on the timeline I first assumed it was about Draymond Green and then was like "Draymond Green is not that tall."
On top of everything else, this level of volatility and emotional instability from a 6’8” man is a legitimate workplace safety issue for his staffers
May 8, 2025 at 5:19 AM
This is about John Fetterman, and true, but it's funny that seeing it out of context on the timeline I first assumed it was about Draymond Green and then was like "Draymond Green is not that tall."
Worried I’m not creative enough to ever make the Wikipedia list of inventors killed by their own invention.
May 8, 2025 at 4:02 AM
Worried I’m not creative enough to ever make the Wikipedia list of inventors killed by their own invention.
“I’m the best at what I do, but what I do isn’t very nice,“ I say as I continue eating leftover taco meat while my family cries and begs me to stop.
May 3, 2025 at 11:32 PM
“I’m the best at what I do, but what I do isn’t very nice,“ I say as I continue eating leftover taco meat while my family cries and begs me to stop.
Happy to be the bigger man and admit that mic’ing the rims was a good decision.
April 30, 2025 at 4:31 AM
Happy to be the bigger man and admit that mic’ing the rims was a good decision.
If you’re going to put out a sandwich board advertising “Full Contact Brazilian Ju Jitsu Classes”you may not want to abbreviate the name of the activity lest someone erase a J.
April 25, 2025 at 12:53 AM
If you’re going to put out a sandwich board advertising “Full Contact Brazilian Ju Jitsu Classes”you may not want to abbreviate the name of the activity lest someone erase a J.
A thing I think the kids today are missing out on is infomercials. They have to learn how to hate a product and its spokespeople over 20 seconds instead of a full half hour
April 21, 2025 at 5:29 AM
A thing I think the kids today are missing out on is infomercials. They have to learn how to hate a product and its spokespeople over 20 seconds instead of a full half hour
I’m grateful that after all these years, I’m still capable of wonder. Like about how good hot pepper relish is on a mortadella sandwich.
April 18, 2025 at 5:07 AM
I’m grateful that after all these years, I’m still capable of wonder. Like about how good hot pepper relish is on a mortadella sandwich.
A frustration with the enshitification of google is that I can no longer find the answer to important questions like “How many people are killed each year diving into a pool where someone has suddenly drained all the water?
March 8, 2025 at 3:05 PM
A frustration with the enshitification of google is that I can no longer find the answer to important questions like “How many people are killed each year diving into a pool where someone has suddenly drained all the water?
Reposted by Arends
Stumbled across this metaphor while walking around Vancouver BC.
February 21, 2025 at 6:12 AM
Stumbled across this metaphor while walking around Vancouver BC.
Reposted by Arends
Wemby and Chris Paul thought they could outsmart the Skills Challenge rules and they got disqualified for it:
CP3 And Wemby Got DQ’d From The Skills Challenge For Purposeful Misses
CP3 and Wemby tried to find a loophole in the rules but got DQ’d instead for purposefully missing their shots in the Skills Challenge.
uproxx.com
February 16, 2025 at 1:44 AM
Wemby and Chris Paul thought they could outsmart the Skills Challenge rules and they got disqualified for it:
Going to cartoon happy hour and finding out they’re playing a full Wallace and Gromit short is easily the best news I’ve gotten this week. Note to self: stop following the disintegration of our nation and the timberwolves so closely.
February 14, 2025 at 2:49 AM
Going to cartoon happy hour and finding out they’re playing a full Wallace and Gromit short is easily the best news I’ve gotten this week. Note to self: stop following the disintegration of our nation and the timberwolves so closely.
Is there a sequel to “Caps For Sale” where the peddler is chased out of town for giving his customers monkey lice?
February 10, 2025 at 3:21 AM
Is there a sequel to “Caps For Sale” where the peddler is chased out of town for giving his customers monkey lice?