Kjerside
@218pounds.bsky.social
May as well like your day old tweets here as anywhere.
Immigrant. Law, bars & restaurants. Country bumpkin. Covered in dog hair. Not bad thanks. Trying and failing to retire early.
Immigrant. Law, bars & restaurants. Country bumpkin. Covered in dog hair. Not bad thanks. Trying and failing to retire early.
Loaded fries with fried chicken bits. Spring onions for health.
December 2, 2025 at 2:32 PM
Loaded fries with fried chicken bits. Spring onions for health.
'Giving your dog 30g of cheese is like you eating 12 donuts'. No. It's like me eating 240g of cheese. An entirely reasonable amount of cheese.
November 30, 2025 at 11:37 AM
'Giving your dog 30g of cheese is like you eating 12 donuts'. No. It's like me eating 240g of cheese. An entirely reasonable amount of cheese.
Just really fancied a fried Spam sandwich. Used to love those as a little boy. Probably have a couple of arteries that would like a word about 70s' parental food choices.
November 27, 2025 at 10:39 AM
Just really fancied a fried Spam sandwich. Used to love those as a little boy. Probably have a couple of arteries that would like a word about 70s' parental food choices.
Reposted by Kjerside
Reminder: a real apology contains these four elements
1. an admission of wrong-doing
2. acknowledgement of the impact on the wronged
3. a refutation of "the trickster's code"
4. maybe some hand stuff if both people are cool with it
1. an admission of wrong-doing
2. acknowledgement of the impact on the wronged
3. a refutation of "the trickster's code"
4. maybe some hand stuff if both people are cool with it
April 19, 2025 at 4:13 AM
Reminder: a real apology contains these four elements
1. an admission of wrong-doing
2. acknowledgement of the impact on the wronged
3. a refutation of "the trickster's code"
4. maybe some hand stuff if both people are cool with it
1. an admission of wrong-doing
2. acknowledgement of the impact on the wronged
3. a refutation of "the trickster's code"
4. maybe some hand stuff if both people are cool with it
Reposted by Kjerside
This tiny unexpected gift from my sons made me very very happy.
November 17, 2025 at 8:36 AM
This tiny unexpected gift from my sons made me very very happy.
A few more years of this and I might be in with a chance of being the cool one that's never going to happen is it.
November 12, 2025 at 8:14 AM
A few more years of this and I might be in with a chance of being the cool one that's never going to happen is it.
Reposted by Kjerside
40 years ago we’d have congressional hearings falsely accusing metal bands of putting backwards messages in their songs that told kids to kill themselves & now we have a planet-killing chatbot that’s all like “bet you won’t commit suicide chickenshit bitch” & the government is like here’s $5 billion
November 8, 2025 at 4:23 AM
40 years ago we’d have congressional hearings falsely accusing metal bands of putting backwards messages in their songs that told kids to kill themselves & now we have a planet-killing chatbot that’s all like “bet you won’t commit suicide chickenshit bitch” & the government is like here’s $5 billion
To receive that trillion dollar pay package Elon Musk has to increase Tesla value by 800%, sell a million robots, lick his own elbow and be able to sing Raye's Where is my Husband.
November 7, 2025 at 8:47 AM
To receive that trillion dollar pay package Elon Musk has to increase Tesla value by 800%, sell a million robots, lick his own elbow and be able to sing Raye's Where is my Husband.
Had an electrician booked for 0800. He called me at 1015 to say he'd be a bit late so that's alright.
November 6, 2025 at 9:28 AM
Had an electrician booked for 0800. He called me at 1015 to say he'd be a bit late so that's alright.
Not one to brag, but that's fucking easy.
November 5, 2025 at 12:31 PM
Not one to brag, but that's fucking easy.
Reposted by Kjerside
rip dick cheney, you wouldve loved the illegal war in south america we’re about to start
November 4, 2025 at 12:19 PM
rip dick cheney, you wouldve loved the illegal war in south america we’re about to start
I'm formerly stripping the former prince of our name, Andrew. He's now to be addressed as Phil.
October 31, 2025 at 8:20 AM
I'm formerly stripping the former prince of our name, Andrew. He's now to be addressed as Phil.
Someone I mentored 1O years ago has thanked me for the best advice of her career. Ego had me speculating as to what nugget of wisdom night be. It was 'You must NEVER underestimate how stupid people are'
You can all have that for free.
You can all have that for free.
October 31, 2025 at 8:15 AM
Someone I mentored 1O years ago has thanked me for the best advice of her career. Ego had me speculating as to what nugget of wisdom night be. It was 'You must NEVER underestimate how stupid people are'
You can all have that for free.
You can all have that for free.
It's raining so he's hiding from the morning walk.
October 24, 2025 at 7:45 AM
It's raining so he's hiding from the morning walk.
Just remember these are the descendants of wolves. You never know when they might turn.
October 22, 2025 at 9:41 AM
Just remember these are the descendants of wolves. You never know when they might turn.
There's a small but distinct possibility that Trump thinks a ballroom is a room full of actual balls.
October 22, 2025 at 7:35 AM
There's a small but distinct possibility that Trump thinks a ballroom is a room full of actual balls.
Putting a fiver on The nonce formerly known as Prince going on I'm a celebrity 2026
October 21, 2025 at 1:12 PM
Putting a fiver on The nonce formerly known as Prince going on I'm a celebrity 2026
Started the day by activating a new Mastercard, then cutting it in two instead of the old one 👍
October 21, 2025 at 7:01 AM
Started the day by activating a new Mastercard, then cutting it in two instead of the old one 👍
'Working for the Michelin Guide is like working for the CIA.'
Is it fuck.
Is it fuck.
October 20, 2025 at 6:04 PM
'Working for the Michelin Guide is like working for the CIA.'
Is it fuck.
Is it fuck.
If I were an actor and needed to summon tears, I'd simply remember the brief but horrific period where I had a goatee and Cuban heeled boots.
October 20, 2025 at 10:34 AM
If I were an actor and needed to summon tears, I'd simply remember the brief but horrific period where I had a goatee and Cuban heeled boots.
Whoever said the best ideas are had on the toilet wasn't lying, because I just made this.
October 18, 2025 at 8:19 AM
Whoever said the best ideas are had on the toilet wasn't lying, because I just made this.
Chestnut family fun day Monday. The whole family sat around all day eating, chatting, and slagging off everyone else's chestnut figures.
October 14, 2025 at 9:13 AM
Chestnut family fun day Monday. The whole family sat around all day eating, chatting, and slagging off everyone else's chestnut figures.
Took off my shirt to bring my wife her coffee in bed.
October 14, 2025 at 8:11 AM
Took off my shirt to bring my wife her coffee in bed.
Looks like it's the middle of the month again.
October 13, 2025 at 12:06 PM
Looks like it's the middle of the month again.