Zach Heltzel
@zachheltzel.bsky.social
Academy Award winning writer and director of SWIMFAN.
vaxxed?
Gallup will no longer measure presidential approval after 88 years thehill.com/homenews/med...
February 11, 2026 at 8:29 PM
vaxxed?
James Van Der Beek will always be an icon because of Dawson’s Creek (it’s the titular role!), but he was so good in so many things over the course of his career.
It makes losing him so young sting just that much more.
It makes losing him so young sting just that much more.
February 11, 2026 at 7:43 PM
James Van Der Beek will always be an icon because of Dawson’s Creek (it’s the titular role!), but he was so good in so many things over the course of his career.
It makes losing him so young sting just that much more.
It makes losing him so young sting just that much more.
Employees at the dick sucking factory aghast to find out what their company does.
SCOOP: Tensions at Palantir have grown in recent weeks over the company's work with ICE.
On Friday, CEO Alex Karp tried to calm concerns in an hourlong video that offered few specifics—instead offering NDAs to workers who want to understand how it's empowering ICE.
www.wired.com/story/palant...
On Friday, CEO Alex Karp tried to calm concerns in an hourlong video that offered few specifics—instead offering NDAs to workers who want to understand how it's empowering ICE.
www.wired.com/story/palant...
Palantir CEO Alex Karp Recorded a Video About ICE for His Employees
In a video shared with Palantir employees, Alex Karp did not explain how ICE is utilizing the company's products. Instead, workers were told they can sign NDAs if they want detailed information.
www.wired.com
February 10, 2026 at 9:21 PM
Employees at the dick sucking factory aghast to find out what their company does.
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
Interesting story but I don’t see what him being bi has anything to do with it.
new most bizarre moment of the Olympics just dropped
Norwegian biathlete wins bronze medal, then, totally unprompted, reveal he cheated on his GF, she left him, and he wants to apologize publicly hoping she takes him back
www.vg.no/sport/i/vr5g...
Norwegian biathlete wins bronze medal, then, totally unprompted, reveal he cheated on his GF, she left him, and he wants to apologize publicly hoping she takes him back
www.vg.no/sport/i/vr5g...
February 10, 2026 at 5:48 PM
Interesting story but I don’t see what him being bi has anything to do with it.
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
i know we're not supposed to share tweets on here or whatever, but i need you all to look at this, this thing of beauty
February 10, 2026 at 4:38 AM
i know we're not supposed to share tweets on here or whatever, but i need you all to look at this, this thing of beauty
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
Aaaaaaahhahahahaahahahah let’s all kill ourselves!!!!!!!!
February 10, 2026 at 2:47 AM
Aaaaaaahhahahahaahahahah let’s all kill ourselves!!!!!!!!
The only explanation for this is that some people live such charmed lives that they have to invent things to be mad at, right?
February 9, 2026 at 2:44 AM
The only explanation for this is that some people live such charmed lives that they have to invent things to be mad at, right?
Says a lot how we all understand how and why this is overtly political.
February 9, 2026 at 1:46 AM
Says a lot how we all understand how and why this is overtly political.
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
Kind of gives away the whole game that all the crypto ads this year have been replaced with gambling and AI ads.
February 9, 2026 at 1:17 AM
Kind of gives away the whole game that all the crypto ads this year have been replaced with gambling and AI ads.
My friend’s brother is running for Congress and a PAC funded by OpenAI and a17z is running attacks on him for not being woke enough. God, we have the stupidest form of democracy.
February 9, 2026 at 12:08 AM
My friend’s brother is running for Congress and a PAC funded by OpenAI and a17z is running attacks on him for not being woke enough. God, we have the stupidest form of democracy.
Gym is so empty because of the Super Bowl. This rules.
February 8, 2026 at 11:20 PM
Gym is so empty because of the Super Bowl. This rules.
Almost done backtesting SP26. Probably won’t formally launch until we are almost done with primary season but I’ll be able to post Senate/House snapshots by end of month at this rate.
February 8, 2026 at 10:40 PM
Almost done backtesting SP26. Probably won’t formally launch until we are almost done with primary season but I’ll be able to post Senate/House snapshots by end of month at this rate.
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
wait wait wait ...
TUMBLR.
THE PORN BAN GUY FROM TUMBLR IS GOING TO RUN THE WASHINGTON POST.
Look I've been pushing back on the idea that Bezos is intentionally sabotaging the paper but COME ON this is a man who thought he could just take the boobs and dicks off of *Tumblr.*
TUMBLR.
THE PORN BAN GUY FROM TUMBLR IS GOING TO RUN THE WASHINGTON POST.
Look I've been pushing back on the idea that Bezos is intentionally sabotaging the paper but COME ON this is a man who thought he could just take the boobs and dicks off of *Tumblr.*
Will Lewis is resigning as WaPo CEO, former Tumblr CEO Jeff D’Onofrio is the paper’s new acting CEO and publisher, per memos to staff
February 7, 2026 at 10:50 PM
wait wait wait ...
TUMBLR.
THE PORN BAN GUY FROM TUMBLR IS GOING TO RUN THE WASHINGTON POST.
Look I've been pushing back on the idea that Bezos is intentionally sabotaging the paper but COME ON this is a man who thought he could just take the boobs and dicks off of *Tumblr.*
TUMBLR.
THE PORN BAN GUY FROM TUMBLR IS GOING TO RUN THE WASHINGTON POST.
Look I've been pushing back on the idea that Bezos is intentionally sabotaging the paper but COME ON this is a man who thought he could just take the boobs and dicks off of *Tumblr.*
The perfect heterosexual relationship is a woman who looks like she can change a tire and a man who definitely cannot.
February 8, 2026 at 1:58 AM
The perfect heterosexual relationship is a woman who looks like she can change a tire and a man who definitely cannot.
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
Is anybody ever gonna take a step back and realize the "Russia Russia Russia" people — derided as lunatic wine moms — were actually underplaying the foreign influence stuff, and the loud people who kept insisting it was all fake are now saying Jeffrey Epstein was kind of a cool guy?
NSA detected phone call between foreign intelligence and a person close to Trump
Whistleblower says that Tulsi Gabbard blocked agency from sharing report and delivered it to White House chief of staff
www.theguardian.com
February 7, 2026 at 7:06 PM
Is anybody ever gonna take a step back and realize the "Russia Russia Russia" people — derided as lunatic wine moms — were actually underplaying the foreign influence stuff, and the loud people who kept insisting it was all fake are now saying Jeffrey Epstein was kind of a cool guy?
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
I wanna see susan sarandon seduce kermit the frog. It's a sick culture that we even have to ask for that. They used to air that stuff on tv. They'd beam it right into your house even if you tried to stop them
February 7, 2026 at 4:55 AM
I wanna see susan sarandon seduce kermit the frog. It's a sick culture that we even have to ask for that. They used to air that stuff on tv. They'd beam it right into your house even if you tried to stop them
Sweetpea Golightly, I’d be so good to ya.
February 7, 2026 at 4:01 AM
Sweetpea Golightly, I’d be so good to ya.
The Crunch in West Hollywood taught me it was okay to be weird.
February 7, 2026 at 12:01 AM
The Crunch in West Hollywood taught me it was okay to be weird.
I profoundly believe JD Vance has a humiliation kink and loves that this happened.
Vice President JD Vance gets roundly booed at the opening ceremony of the Milano-Cortina 2026 Olympics. "Those are a lot of boos for him, whistling jeering," says the presenter. US athletes receive a warm welcome from fans, though.
February 6, 2026 at 9:24 PM
I profoundly believe JD Vance has a humiliation kink and loves that this happened.
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
this is very funny www.foxnews.com/media/jd-van...
JD Vance should have been sold by his mother for drugs, NYT columnist says
New York Times columnist Jamelle Bouie suggested Vice President JD Vance's mother was reasonable when attempting to sell him for drugs during his childhood.
www.foxnews.com
February 6, 2026 at 10:01 AM
this is very funny www.foxnews.com/media/jd-van...
Reposted by Zach Heltzel
It’s Whiskey Friday with Tony Dokoupil
February 6, 2026 at 4:25 PM
It’s Whiskey Friday with Tony Dokoupil
The Apatow era of theatrical comedies…we really did not know how good we had it.
February 6, 2026 at 5:34 AM
The Apatow era of theatrical comedies…we really did not know how good we had it.
Who redpilled Hank Green?
Was this very mid-2000s emo person press-ganged into ICE servitude?
February 6, 2026 at 4:49 AM
Who redpilled Hank Green?