Vurrence
@vurrence.bsky.social
@Verrence@jorts.horse on mastodon
Pinned
There are more than 20,000 ICE agents. Let’s say they weigh 180lbs each, on average.
SNAP benefits for food-insecure people are being eliminated for no good reason, for who knows how long.
…I have a modest proposal.
SNAP benefits for food-insecure people are being eliminated for no good reason, for who knows how long.
…I have a modest proposal.
get to know your mutuals and list 10 random things you like
Silence
Rap
Excuses for not working
Nachos
Getting a text from a friend
Thinking up a banger
I get a new plant and it lives
Hearing new music that’s good
Coffee ice cream
Dogs
Silence
Rap
Excuses for not working
Nachos
Getting a text from a friend
Thinking up a banger
I get a new plant and it lives
Hearing new music that’s good
Coffee ice cream
Dogs
get to know your mutuals and list 10 random things you like
• putting a straw in my vape
• cards as weapons
• writing parody lyrics
• busting chops
• the it's-just-basketball game at the arcade
• plasma balls and lava lamps
• 🔴🟠🟡🟢🔵🟣 as a set
• karaoke
• onscreen titles being small
• um. cranium.
• putting a straw in my vape
• cards as weapons
• writing parody lyrics
• busting chops
• the it's-just-basketball game at the arcade
• plasma balls and lava lamps
• 🔴🟠🟡🟢🔵🟣 as a set
• karaoke
• onscreen titles being small
• um. cranium.
get to know your mutuals and list 10 random things you like
-polari
-cyoa books
-lighthouses in places they shouldnt be
-dumpster diving
-offal meat
-demo derbies
-korean spas
-zazen
-hotel ac
-public transit spaces
-polari
-cyoa books
-lighthouses in places they shouldnt be
-dumpster diving
-offal meat
-demo derbies
-korean spas
-zazen
-hotel ac
-public transit spaces
November 14, 2025 at 9:14 PM
get to know your mutuals and list 10 random things you like
Silence
Rap
Excuses for not working
Nachos
Getting a text from a friend
Thinking up a banger
I get a new plant and it lives
Hearing new music that’s good
Coffee ice cream
Dogs
Silence
Rap
Excuses for not working
Nachos
Getting a text from a friend
Thinking up a banger
I get a new plant and it lives
Hearing new music that’s good
Coffee ice cream
Dogs
Presented without comment
November 14, 2025 at 7:14 PM
Presented without comment
I have like a pinched nerve in my shoulder and it sucks so bad.
Makes it really hard to sleep, and my arm and hand are kinda weak.
Fuuuuck this.
Makes it really hard to sleep, and my arm and hand are kinda weak.
Fuuuuck this.
November 14, 2025 at 5:32 PM
I have like a pinched nerve in my shoulder and it sucks so bad.
Makes it really hard to sleep, and my arm and hand are kinda weak.
Fuuuuck this.
Makes it really hard to sleep, and my arm and hand are kinda weak.
Fuuuuck this.
Where your eyes don't go, a filthy scarecrow waves its broomstick arms
And does a parody of each unconscious thing you do
When you turn around to look, it's gone behind you
On its face it's wearing your confused expression
Where your eyes don't go
And does a parody of each unconscious thing you do
When you turn around to look, it's gone behind you
On its face it's wearing your confused expression
Where your eyes don't go
November 13, 2025 at 10:55 PM
Where your eyes don't go, a filthy scarecrow waves its broomstick arms
And does a parody of each unconscious thing you do
When you turn around to look, it's gone behind you
On its face it's wearing your confused expression
Where your eyes don't go
And does a parody of each unconscious thing you do
When you turn around to look, it's gone behind you
On its face it's wearing your confused expression
Where your eyes don't go
Reposted by Vurrence
An ephebophile is just a pedophile with a thesaurus.
November 13, 2025 at 7:35 PM
An ephebophile is just a pedophile with a thesaurus.
Know what I hate?
The engagement I give bot tan by replying to it with absolute HATRED means it shows up in my skircle.
The engagement I give bot tan by replying to it with absolute HATRED means it shows up in my skircle.
a cat is sitting on a bed with the words `` hate you '' on it .
ALT: a cat is sitting on a bed with the words `` hate you '' on it .
media.tenor.com
November 13, 2025 at 8:45 PM
Know what I hate?
The engagement I give bot tan by replying to it with absolute HATRED means it shows up in my skircle.
The engagement I give bot tan by replying to it with absolute HATRED means it shows up in my skircle.
Reposted by Vurrence
Chekhov's puppygirl (she has a gun)
November 13, 2025 at 8:35 PM
Chekhov's puppygirl (she has a gun)
I feel sorry for trees because they can’t masturbate.
I bet they really want to, sometimes.
I bet they really want to, sometimes.
November 11, 2025 at 11:11 PM
I feel sorry for trees because they can’t masturbate.
I bet they really want to, sometimes.
I bet they really want to, sometimes.
I just think the Hamburger Helper mascot probably gives really good handjobs. I don’t think that’s a weird opinion.
a box of hamburger helper cereal is next to a cartoon character wearing a cowboy hat .
ALT: a box of hamburger helper cereal is next to a cartoon character wearing a cowboy hat .
media.tenor.com
November 10, 2025 at 8:55 PM
I just think the Hamburger Helper mascot probably gives really good handjobs. I don’t think that’s a weird opinion.
Democrats in Congress:
“Oh no! My pants fell down!”
[falls over and sticks their butt out]
“I sure hope Trump doesn’t do anything NAUGHTY!”
[wiggles butt around]
“AHEM! I said I sure hope Trump doesn’t do anything NAUGHTY! With my cute lil BUTT!”
“Oh no! My pants fell down!”
[falls over and sticks their butt out]
“I sure hope Trump doesn’t do anything NAUGHTY!”
[wiggles butt around]
“AHEM! I said I sure hope Trump doesn’t do anything NAUGHTY! With my cute lil BUTT!”
November 10, 2025 at 8:45 PM
Democrats in Congress:
“Oh no! My pants fell down!”
[falls over and sticks their butt out]
“I sure hope Trump doesn’t do anything NAUGHTY!”
[wiggles butt around]
“AHEM! I said I sure hope Trump doesn’t do anything NAUGHTY! With my cute lil BUTT!”
“Oh no! My pants fell down!”
[falls over and sticks their butt out]
“I sure hope Trump doesn’t do anything NAUGHTY!”
[wiggles butt around]
“AHEM! I said I sure hope Trump doesn’t do anything NAUGHTY! With my cute lil BUTT!”
Reposted by Vurrence
STEP 1: make a little birdhouse in your soul
STEP 2: ???
STEP 3: profit
STEP 2: ???
STEP 3: profit
November 10, 2025 at 7:56 PM
STEP 1: make a little birdhouse in your soul
STEP 2: ???
STEP 3: profit
STEP 2: ???
STEP 3: profit
WTF.
The band is called “Chumbawamba”?
I always thought it was “Chumbawumba”!
I’ve obviously crossed into another dimension in the multiverse.
The band is called “Chumbawamba”?
I always thought it was “Chumbawumba”!
I’ve obviously crossed into another dimension in the multiverse.
November 9, 2025 at 11:24 PM
WTF.
The band is called “Chumbawamba”?
I always thought it was “Chumbawumba”!
I’ve obviously crossed into another dimension in the multiverse.
The band is called “Chumbawamba”?
I always thought it was “Chumbawumba”!
I’ve obviously crossed into another dimension in the multiverse.
Genius idea: 5,000 year mortgage.
Costs $10 less per month! 🤩
Costs $10 less per month! 🤩
November 9, 2025 at 11:04 PM
Genius idea: 5,000 year mortgage.
Costs $10 less per month! 🤩
Costs $10 less per month! 🤩
I want you to all get really stoned and then take turns insulting me and each other in humorous ways.
A pot roast, if you will.
A pot roast, if you will.
November 9, 2025 at 9:02 PM
I want you to all get really stoned and then take turns insulting me and each other in humorous ways.
A pot roast, if you will.
A pot roast, if you will.
The elevator pitch I made for my screenplay “The Mouse With A Thousand Butts” went GREAT!
Unfortunately the people in the elevator with me were not part of the movie industry. They were just shopping in the mall.
But I could tell by their expressions that they believed in me.
Unfortunately the people in the elevator with me were not part of the movie industry. They were just shopping in the mall.
But I could tell by their expressions that they believed in me.
November 8, 2025 at 10:19 PM
The elevator pitch I made for my screenplay “The Mouse With A Thousand Butts” went GREAT!
Unfortunately the people in the elevator with me were not part of the movie industry. They were just shopping in the mall.
But I could tell by their expressions that they believed in me.
Unfortunately the people in the elevator with me were not part of the movie industry. They were just shopping in the mall.
But I could tell by their expressions that they believed in me.
Reposted by Vurrence
Final Fantasy Spoony Bard to Broody Twink pipeline
November 7, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Final Fantasy Spoony Bard to Broody Twink pipeline
Ooo, I’m at a good level of high.
Autism: manageable. Ability to do stuff and communicate: pretty good. Optimism: engaged. Amusement at how ridiculous literally everything in the universe is: at peak levels.
Autism: manageable. Ability to do stuff and communicate: pretty good. Optimism: engaged. Amusement at how ridiculous literally everything in the universe is: at peak levels.
November 8, 2025 at 12:01 AM
Ooo, I’m at a good level of high.
Autism: manageable. Ability to do stuff and communicate: pretty good. Optimism: engaged. Amusement at how ridiculous literally everything in the universe is: at peak levels.
Autism: manageable. Ability to do stuff and communicate: pretty good. Optimism: engaged. Amusement at how ridiculous literally everything in the universe is: at peak levels.
I don’t want the world
I just want your half
I just want your half
They Might Be Giants - Ana Ng (BEST QUALITY Official Music Video)
YouTube video by ParticleMen
youtu.be
November 7, 2025 at 11:48 PM
I don’t want the world
I just want your half
I just want your half
Reposted by Vurrence
Reposted by Vurrence
Top funniest dog breed portmanteaus:
Cockapoo (Cocker Spaniel/Poodle)
Shitpoo (Shitzu/Poodle)
Great Cock (Great Pyrenees/Cocker Spaniel)
Bich Pees (Bichon Frise/Great Pyrenees)
Cockapoo (Cocker Spaniel/Poodle)
Shitpoo (Shitzu/Poodle)
Great Cock (Great Pyrenees/Cocker Spaniel)
Bich Pees (Bichon Frise/Great Pyrenees)
November 7, 2025 at 7:34 PM
Top funniest dog breed portmanteaus:
Cockapoo (Cocker Spaniel/Poodle)
Shitpoo (Shitzu/Poodle)
Great Cock (Great Pyrenees/Cocker Spaniel)
Bich Pees (Bichon Frise/Great Pyrenees)
Cockapoo (Cocker Spaniel/Poodle)
Shitpoo (Shitzu/Poodle)
Great Cock (Great Pyrenees/Cocker Spaniel)
Bich Pees (Bichon Frise/Great Pyrenees)
What is your favorite sandwich to throw?
I think you can’t beat the heft and splatter of a meatball sub, but I’m willing to hear other options.
I think you can’t beat the heft and splatter of a meatball sub, but I’m willing to hear other options.
November 6, 2025 at 8:58 PM
What is your favorite sandwich to throw?
I think you can’t beat the heft and splatter of a meatball sub, but I’m willing to hear other options.
I think you can’t beat the heft and splatter of a meatball sub, but I’m willing to hear other options.
The worst thing about being here at the top of shit creek is the knowledge that no one can paddle me. 😞
November 6, 2025 at 8:51 PM
The worst thing about being here at the top of shit creek is the knowledge that no one can paddle me. 😞
Wearing the new tactical underwear I ordered from an ad on facebook, with RFID blocking technology and 5 zippered pockets for all of my EDC gadgets.
November 6, 2025 at 8:22 PM
Wearing the new tactical underwear I ordered from an ad on facebook, with RFID blocking technology and 5 zippered pockets for all of my EDC gadgets.