Vurrence (punished)
@vurrence.bsky.social
@Verrence@jorts.horse on mastodon
@verrence on upscrolled
Bot-tan’s #1 hater
@verrence on upscrolled
Bot-tan’s #1 hater
Pinned
Vurrence (punished)
@vurrence.bsky.social
· Oct 29
There are more than 20,000 ICE agents. Let’s say they weigh 180lbs each, on average.
SNAP benefits for food-insecure people are being eliminated for no good reason, for who knows how long.
…I have a modest proposal.
SNAP benefits for food-insecure people are being eliminated for no good reason, for who knows how long.
…I have a modest proposal.
Reposted by Vurrence (punished)
you know the end of star wars return of the jedi when the emporer dies and everyone celebrates? they all got banned from bluesky for that
January 6, 2026 at 9:18 PM
you know the end of star wars return of the jedi when the emporer dies and everyone celebrates? they all got banned from bluesky for that
Reposted by Vurrence (punished)
Reposted by Vurrence (punished)
What?! How dare you! None of my perversions are disgusting! They’re actually very normal.
Anyway, I’m DMing you an address. Arrive covered in BBQ sauce, and I mean COVERED, or else the deal is off.
Anyway, I’m DMing you an address. Arrive covered in BBQ sauce, and I mean COVERED, or else the deal is off.
January 5, 2026 at 8:40 PM
What?! How dare you! None of my perversions are disgusting! They’re actually very normal.
Anyway, I’m DMing you an address. Arrive covered in BBQ sauce, and I mean COVERED, or else the deal is off.
Anyway, I’m DMing you an address. Arrive covered in BBQ sauce, and I mean COVERED, or else the deal is off.
Reposted by Vurrence (punished)
There are few things that live in my head so rent-free
a cartoon of a man in a tuxedo holding a tray of food
ALT: a cartoon of a man in a tuxedo holding a tray of food
media.tenor.com
January 5, 2026 at 12:47 AM
There are few things that live in my head so rent-free
Reposted by Vurrence (punished)
If I had a nickel for every time this happened I’d be able to make a life-sized statue of myself shitting my pants. Made out of nickels.
January 4, 2026 at 11:37 PM
If I had a nickel for every time this happened I’d be able to make a life-sized statue of myself shitting my pants. Made out of nickels.
who else up trying to be funny, but then you’re like “oh, I’m actually being super dark because of all of that trauma”
so you just try to fart loudly to lighten the mood, but you didn’t realize you actually needed to shit so you poop yourself REAL bad
so you just try to fart loudly to lighten the mood, but you didn’t realize you actually needed to shit so you poop yourself REAL bad
January 4, 2026 at 11:15 PM
who else up trying to be funny, but then you’re like “oh, I’m actually being super dark because of all of that trauma”
so you just try to fart loudly to lighten the mood, but you didn’t realize you actually needed to shit so you poop yourself REAL bad
so you just try to fart loudly to lighten the mood, but you didn’t realize you actually needed to shit so you poop yourself REAL bad
Roses are red
Beer is brewed
Beer is brewed
January 3, 2026 at 10:49 PM
Roses are red
Beer is brewed
Beer is brewed
Reposted by Vurrence (punished)
Me: [can’t talk because my mouth is full of sugar water and three hummingbirds are perched on my lower lip feeding from me]
January 3, 2026 at 10:32 PM
Me: [can’t talk because my mouth is full of sugar water and three hummingbirds are perched on my lower lip feeding from me]
Reposted by Vurrence (punished)
I’m putting “featured on drojo’s fridge” on my resume now
January 3, 2026 at 10:18 PM
I’m putting “featured on drojo’s fridge” on my resume now
I’m sick of overly positive bots
Is there a bot I can follow that will tell me to delete my account and that I will die alone and afraid?
Is there a bot I can follow that will tell me to delete my account and that I will die alone and afraid?
January 3, 2026 at 10:01 PM
I’m sick of overly positive bots
Is there a bot I can follow that will tell me to delete my account and that I will die alone and afraid?
Is there a bot I can follow that will tell me to delete my account and that I will die alone and afraid?
Cause of death: pissed toyota
Cause of death: missed quota
Cause of death: misquoted movie line
January 3, 2026 at 9:55 PM
Cause of death: pissed toyota
[at desk, chewing on pen, surrounded by crumpled up balls of paper, trying to come up with a hilarious shitpost about the whole venezuela thing]
…fuck
…fuck
January 3, 2026 at 9:23 PM
[at desk, chewing on pen, surrounded by crumpled up balls of paper, trying to come up with a hilarious shitpost about the whole venezuela thing]
…fuck
…fuck
Reposted by Vurrence (punished)
if you can’t handle me at my weird, then you don’t deserve me at my weird
a seal that looks like a horse walking down a road
ALT: a seal that looks like a horse walking down a road
media.tenor.com
January 2, 2026 at 10:29 PM
if you can’t handle me at my weird, then you don’t deserve me at my weird
Heading into 2026 like
January 1, 2026 at 10:23 PM
Heading into 2026 like
HOW DID THEY KNOW
January 1, 2026 at 9:57 PM
HOW DID THEY KNOW
It’s fuckin cold out!
And yet a yellowjacket just buzzed around my face for like a full minute.
My little friend, please spend your energy on more productive things. Seriously.
Eat something. Drink some water. Take your meds. What the fuck are you doing.
And yet a yellowjacket just buzzed around my face for like a full minute.
My little friend, please spend your energy on more productive things. Seriously.
Eat something. Drink some water. Take your meds. What the fuck are you doing.
December 31, 2025 at 9:43 PM
It’s fuckin cold out!
And yet a yellowjacket just buzzed around my face for like a full minute.
My little friend, please spend your energy on more productive things. Seriously.
Eat something. Drink some water. Take your meds. What the fuck are you doing.
And yet a yellowjacket just buzzed around my face for like a full minute.
My little friend, please spend your energy on more productive things. Seriously.
Eat something. Drink some water. Take your meds. What the fuck are you doing.
Later guys, my ride is here
December 30, 2025 at 10:19 PM
Later guys, my ride is here
If I had a nickel for every post I discarded I could make a house out of nickels.
Then I would be crushed to death by thousands of pounds of nickels, because that isn’t a structurally sound way to build a house.
Then I would be crushed to death by thousands of pounds of nickels, because that isn’t a structurally sound way to build a house.
December 30, 2025 at 10:15 PM
If I had a nickel for every post I discarded I could make a house out of nickels.
Then I would be crushed to death by thousands of pounds of nickels, because that isn’t a structurally sound way to build a house.
Then I would be crushed to death by thousands of pounds of nickels, because that isn’t a structurally sound way to build a house.
Morrissey called.
Block the number. He fuckin sucks.
Block the number. He fuckin sucks.
Ween called.
They said to put the coke on my dick
They said to put the coke on my dick
Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch called.
They suggested you c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, feel it, feel it — feel the vibrations
They suggested you c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, feel it, feel it — feel the vibrations
December 30, 2025 at 8:23 PM
Morrissey called.
Block the number. He fuckin sucks.
Block the number. He fuckin sucks.
I kinda miss when there wasn’t a fence around the back yard. I’d get visits from a huge chonker opossum just swaggering through, nightly. Sometimes I wonder how they’re doin…
December 29, 2025 at 10:05 PM
I kinda miss when there wasn’t a fence around the back yard. I’d get visits from a huge chonker opossum just swaggering through, nightly. Sometimes I wonder how they’re doin…
ruin two bands by combining them:
Reel Big Morrissey
Reel Big Morrissey
ruin two bands by combining them:
Puddle of Muddhoney
Puddle of Muddhoney
ruin two bands by combining them:
the aerosmiths
the aerosmiths
December 29, 2025 at 9:08 PM
ruin two bands by combining them:
Reel Big Morrissey
Reel Big Morrissey
I’m gonna make some oatmeal chocolate chip cookies
They don’t have raisins in them because I am not a fucking MONSTER 😠
They don’t have raisins in them because I am not a fucking MONSTER 😠
December 28, 2025 at 9:20 PM
I’m gonna make some oatmeal chocolate chip cookies
They don’t have raisins in them because I am not a fucking MONSTER 😠
They don’t have raisins in them because I am not a fucking MONSTER 😠
if you see this, post a random fact about yourself
i graduated high school when i was 13
yet inexplicably i am also really stupid
i graduated high school when i was 13
yet inexplicably i am also really stupid
if you see this, post a random fact about yourself
one time i got stabbed
one time i got stabbed
if you see this, post a random fact about yourself
i threw up at a lana del rey concert
i threw up at a lana del rey concert
December 28, 2025 at 8:05 PM
if you see this, post a random fact about yourself
i graduated high school when i was 13
yet inexplicably i am also really stupid
i graduated high school when i was 13
yet inexplicably i am also really stupid
Maybe it’s just me, but I never found Roddy Piper to be all that rowdy.
December 27, 2025 at 9:46 PM
Maybe it’s just me, but I never found Roddy Piper to be all that rowdy.
Reposted by Vurrence (punished)
I think my cat had the record for most “fuck you” pee ever.
I heard a spraying noise and looked around to discover that she had backed her butt up to the sound hole of a ukulele leaned against the wall and was peeing right into it.
I was speechless as we made eye contact.
I heard a spraying noise and looked around to discover that she had backed her butt up to the sound hole of a ukulele leaned against the wall and was peeing right into it.
I was speechless as we made eye contact.
December 27, 2025 at 9:11 PM
I think my cat had the record for most “fuck you” pee ever.
I heard a spraying noise and looked around to discover that she had backed her butt up to the sound hole of a ukulele leaned against the wall and was peeing right into it.
I was speechless as we made eye contact.
I heard a spraying noise and looked around to discover that she had backed her butt up to the sound hole of a ukulele leaned against the wall and was peeing right into it.
I was speechless as we made eye contact.